Love And Hate Relationship Between My Cats

[ninjatalli]

Hi There!
I have two cats with me - a ~2 year old male (R2) and a ~1 year old female (Muffin); both spayed and with all vaccinations done. R2 has been part of the family for over 22 months; while the female kiddo was adopted 6 months back. R2 had a brother (D2) from the same litter who we lost a year back. We adopted Muffin a few months post D2's demise. R2 warmed up to her very quickly and both became chums within a few weeks' time.

I have a traveling job so I am out of the house for several days at times; my girlfriend looks after them and with a pet-sitter who comes in as a backup. Both the kiddos are quite comfortable with each other by now and have been living under the same roof for over 6 months.

Lately we have been observing a new phenomenon; when either of us are at home, R2 starts attacking (/violent playing) Muffin while she runs and hides. Initially we thought this was just both of them behaving like normal cats; playing and running around. But lately Muffin (who's the more timid of the two and also smaller in size) goes and hides behind doors or climbs on top of cupboards and curtains whenever R2 makes a dash for her. She only comes out once R2 focuses on other things/us.

We have noticed this happens mostly when we are at home; otherwise they seem to live quite contently (although this is more of a calculated guess). This happens 3-4 times a day when we are at home; otherwise they are quite content sleeping or laying around close to each other.

I welcome any suggestions on how to resolve this or understand this better so that we can take the necessary actions on our side.

 

[danteshuman]

Ah! I sadly recognize this behavior! R2 is being a jerk/hyper bully. *SIGH* My bud Dante does the same darn thing to my sweet Salem. If Dante doesn't get his outside time, he starts hunting his brother, pounces on him & bites him between the shoulders. When Dante fixates on Salem, Salem growls really loud.

So building Muffin's confidence is a must. Kick R2 out of the room and play with muffin 1 on 1 for 15 minutes every day. Then if R2 is anything like Dante, you will need to play with R2 after you play with Muffin so R2 won't get jealous. Now Salem stares and growls instead of running & hiding.

Next you need to stimulate R2. In Dante's case his is kinda a cat with ADHD. If he gets bored and doesn't have a place to put his aggression, he takes his extra energy out on Salem. In my case, an hour in my backyard a day 'hunting' or watching birds, keeps me from wanting to shave him So can you give R2 a bird watching window? If you can give them a bird feeder & water fountain in line of sight of the bird watching window (bird love fountains, it can be a small fountain.) If you can, start harness training R2 so eventually he can get a daily walk. Next you need to play with R2 twice a day 10-15 minutes. I play with my problem child cat before bed so I can sleep.

When I see Dante hunting his brother I shoo him away ... then in a couple of minutes play with him. You can try tossing a toy away from Muffin, when he is locked onto her. When you arrange cat sitting (try to keep the same sitter if you can) ask them to play with him, if he will play. Also you make puzzle feeders & give him a new puzzle feeder every day while you are gone.

 

[ninjatalli]

Ah! I sadly recognize this behavior! R2 is being a jerk/hyper bully. *SIGH* My bud Dante does the same darn thing to my sweet Salem. If Dante doesn't get his outside time, he starts hunting his brother, pounces on him & bites him between the shoulders. When Dante fixates on Salem, Salem growls really loud.

So building Muffin's confidence is a must.

Thank you! Dante sounds 100% like R2. He's extremely jealous the moment I give any attention to Muffin and comes asking for self-time immediately. Almost all the points you have mentioned for Dante occur with R2.

We live in a high-rise building, so the 'outside' time I give both them is to roam around on the corridor/floor once in a day. I do have a harness; I have been meaning to get him used to it for outdoor walks. I'll get started on that immediately.

We have these huge French windows in all our rooms; so they do spend a lot of time "hunting" the pigeons behind a closed window. Good suggestion on the bird-feeder; I can have that setup; or atleast a water bowl for the birds (it's summer after all)

We have been trying to get Muffin to open up; she's still very shy with my girlfriend; thankfully she's comfortable with me. Will work on building her confidence further.

Thank you for your suggestions. Helps to understand there's a pattern out here.