Lost 3 cats this year

[DebbieLamb]

One house cat on Aug 15th, one barn cat 16 days ago and his brother today. Plus two horses on Oct 12th.

I'm becoming immune to it. I realized that when I made a snarky, morbid comment on a post.

 

[FeebysOwner]

All people, and all animals, die eventually. It is part of the process of life. It isn't the point to become immune to it - because that only means to deny the emotions that come with it, which can never be truly denied, but only suppressed. You have to know/recognize/understand that it will happen at some point in time, and cherish all the time before that happens as you can.

I am so sorry for your losses. There is nothing than any of us can say to take away the grieving process that you/we all need to go through to get to some level of peace and closure.

What I do know is that those who remain behind are the ones that need our attention the most. Those who have left us need to be remembered and respected, but the best care that we can provide is to those who are still with us. If I should have the unfortunate death before my cat, I want people to remember me, but I most want them to take care of my cat.

 

[swampmonster]

I lost two of my babies this year within six months of one another, for entirely different reasons, and they were 8 and 7 years old. Although I've loved and said goodbye to five cats before in my lifetime, I'm never used to it. But I will say that each one has affected me in different ways. I've always been sad, obviously, but I didn't grieve our 3 year old flv positive cat in the same way I grieved my 20 year old cat with kidney disease, or my 7 year old with kidney disease compared to my latest cat that succumbed to an unknown illness+ketoacidosis. They all present different emotional challenges. In my most recent loss I transition between despair and disillusion and complete numbness. I sometimes just sit and stare and wonder if it's worth loving again. And then other times I feel a strong compulsion to get out there and adopt another one.
You sound stressed, and that's not surprising given what you've been through. I'm so sorry this has happened to you. Looking at your posts, you're a nice, compassionate sounding person and you're here because you love cats. You say you're immune to these losses, but are you really immune if it's causing you to be snarky? That's basically just lashing out, isn't it? I think this is just how your grief is taking shape right now. It might be totally different one week to the next. When I came here to the forum for grief support the biggest take-home I got was to be patient. Grief is this annoying, inescapable phase that we have to learn to live through, but we will get through it. Unfortunately we can't tell you how exactly, as your steps to recovery will be entirely your own. For me, I'll be donating to an animal charity in my cat's honor. I'm passionate about animal welfare and want at least something positive to come out of this. It also helps that my vet donates to veterinarian sciences for every pet we say goodbye to. When I'm stronger I'm going to make commemorative art, too, which will help me and my partner honor our cats' memories.
Please open up and share more when you feel comfortable, about your cats, your horses, or whatever else might be afflicting you.

 

[Maria Bayote]

I am very sorry for your loss. I believe you are not becoming immune, you just probably want to block off the hurt or sadness.

I believe that time does not really heal all wounds, but at least, time makes the grief a bit easier to endure.

We are here for you.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

I am so very sorry. "Immune," I think, is more the numbness that lets us continue to function to some degree as we process our losses. I grieve in bits and pieces, and for VERY long periods of time, myself. The process is not constant for me, and I am both thankful and a bit resentful, as it takes years, sometimes, to truly get through it. Perhaps you are a bit like I am, taking moments when you can safely fall apart, then picking back up and going on till the next safe moment. My heart with yours.

Rest you gentle, Sweet Friends. Your pawprints, and hoofprints, are on someone's heart forever.

 

[di and bob]

I am a retired nurse and have seen many deaths. The deaths of my own little ones, and there have been so many over the years, take a definite toll on your emotions and your heart. You can never ready your heart for the pain, even if you know death is very near. I kept telling myself not to get so involved, so much in love with each and every little one that came into my life, but it was impossible, I still fell apart. Each death is as unique as life. There were times I prayed for death to come, if for nothing else to stop the pain. And then there were other times when innocent lives were gone way too soon and it carved a hole into my very soul.
All I can tell you is that with more death, you treat each and every one as an experience that changes your life forever. With each death you do become more knowledgeable on the death process itself, but your heart just senses the hole it leaves in your life and mourns.
I found that going forward into life and living it the way you would have wanted your little one to live if you were the one to have died first is the best approach. Because we all want that for the ones we love. We cannot waste one minute of this precious life that is gifted to us. We know for certain we will always love those that have gone before us and that they will always carry our love with them too, because that is what love is, spiritual and never-ending. That they will live on through us now, and they will always be as near as our thoughts and prayers.
Time is the only thing that helps with matters of the heart. And it takes a lot of it. So live through the next hour, the next day, and know the sun will rise in the morning and the world goes on. As unending and enduring as our love for those who wait for us on the otherside.
My herat goes out to you, know we are here to help in any way we can. Just remember it was one of the greatest gifts of all that was bestowed upon you, the gift of a cat's love. Concentrate on not what you have lost, but what you have gained......RIP little ones. you will always be remembered, you will always have a secure plaec in a loving heart. May the good Lord bless and keep you all, until you meet again!