Losing my Cats

[ariinya]

So... my dad died on February 14th, which was enough of a blow. Since then, I've been trying to get his Railroad Retirement Benefits, which I do by proving I was his dependent; basically, that I'm disabled and cannot work to earn money myself. Which is true enough. I'm on the autism spectrum and my fear of people borders on paralyzing.

However, with the Coronavirus, everything has come to a screeching halt. It's going to be a year, at the least, before my application goes through, and even then, there's a chance I will be turned down. Until then, my aunt and uncle can't continue to pay for my apartment. I'm going to be sent into transitional housing. Which means... I lose my four cats. My four, furry emotional support pillars.

I don't... know what to do. I don't want to lose them, but there's nothing I can do to stop this from happening. I'm terrified for my cats, who are elderly and have been with me their entire lives. They're 11, 12, 12, and 13 and deeply attached to me, especially my white cat, Molly. I think Sammy and Jinx could go on to have happy lives with other families, which is certainly what I want, but I'm not sure about Molly or Patches. I've just been sobbing my eyes out since I got the news, and I really don't know how I'll manage to continue on without them. I feel like giving up just from the thought of losing them.

(Molly, Jinx/Sammy, Patches)

 

[Norachan]

ariinya I'm so sorry to hear about your dad and everything else that's happening to you.



I'm not sure where you are, but I think a lot of countries have a policy in place now that prevents landlords from evicting tenants if they can't pay their rent. Maybe that policy will buy you a bit of time?

Another thing you could do is get your cats registered as your emotional support animals, so that if you do end up moving they will be able to come with you.

I hope you have enough time to sort things out before being forced to make a decision about your cats. The coronavirus is awful for everyone, but maybe it will be a blessing in disguise for you? Being evicted and forced to move shouldn't be something anyone has to go through now.

 

[ariinya]

Honestly, for me, it isn't being evicted. It's my aunt and uncle deciding this is the best course of action for the time being because they can't afford their own bills and mine. Of course, I don't blame them in the least. This whole thing just got dumped in their lap on one terrible night, along with a disabled niece, and they already have their own troubles (my cousin, their daughter, just lost her husband over Christmas).

Still, understanding the reasons behind everything isn't making it any easier. You're right, I'm in the United States, California to be exact, and I think we do have something in place to stop landlords from evicting tenants who can't pay their rent, but even if that wasn't the case, this was just decided yesterday, so they still have to research transitional homes and decide on one for me.

I'm not sure about getting my cats registered as emotional support animals, but I'll definitely bring it up to my aunt. I think more of the issue is that the homes in question won't allow pets of any kind? I'm not sure. Certainly not four cats. I'd have to pick between them, and that would be heart-breaking.

Thank you for your kind words. At the very least, I'm going to spend as much time as possible with my kitties, loving them lots. That might make it harder to let them go, but I can't conceive of doing anything else.

 

[Katie M]

Honestly, for me, it isn't being evicted. It's my aunt and uncle deciding this is the best course of action for the time being because they can't afford their own bills and mine. Of course, I don't blame them in the least. This whole thing just got dumped in their lap on one terrible night, along with a disabled niece, and they already have their own troubles (my cousin, their daughter, just lost her husband over Christmas).

Still, understanding the reasons behind everything isn't making it any easier. You're right, I'm in the United States, California to be exact, and I think we do have something in place to stop landlords from evicting tenants who can't pay their rent, but even if that wasn't the case, this was just decided yesterday, so they still have to research transitional homes and decide on one for me.

I'm not sure about getting my cats registered as emotional support animals, but I'll definitely bring it up to my aunt. I think more of the issue is that the homes in question won't allow pets of any kind? I'm not sure. Certainly not four cats. I'd have to pick between them, and that would be heart-breaking.

Thank you for your kind words. At the very least, I'm going to spend as much time as possible with my kitties, loving them lots. That might make it harder to let them go, but I can't conceive of doing anything else.

Emotional support animals technically aren't "pets." They're, in a sense, prescribed by a doctor. If you do go this route, it's best to get a letter from a mental health professional.

 

[Willowy]

Your doctor writes a note/"prescription" saying the pets are necessary for your mental health; do NOT go through any of those sketchy websites. Landlords who have more than a certain number of rentals are not allowed to deny emotional support animals, and they can't charge extra pet rent either 4 cats is kind of pushing it, but you are allowed to have more than one ESA, so your doctor may write the note saying that giving any of them up would cause you undue distress. Anyway, talk to your doctor about it.

 

[ariinya]

I definitely will. Because they are my emotional support. I really don't know if I'll survive if I lose all of them. I just lost my dad and became an orphan (even though I'm 35, I still feel that way), and now they want to take away my home AND furbabies? Okay, my home, fine, it's just a place filled with bad memories of my dad in horrible pain. But my kitties...

I won't survive if they take them away. I won't. I spent all of last night sobbing with them gathered around me, probably wondering why momma had lost her mind. All of this is just so unfair!

 

[Furballsmom]

Are you able to get ahold of your doctor today?

Do you like chamomile tea? It may help to ease your stress a bit, which would be good for all five of you

 

[neely]

I am sincerely sorry for your situation and what you are going through right now. Although this is not my area of expertise if you are eligible perhaps you can find some helpful information on this site:Government Benefits | USAGov

I will keep my fingers crossed that you can receive your father's Railroad Retirement Benefits sooner rather than later and buy some time by postponing your rental payments from your landlord.

 

[ariinya]

Sorry, I just went to sleep with my kitties. I didn't want to be awake anymore.

No, I'm not sure how to reach my therapist right now. He's not in his office due to the Coronavirus; he's an older man, in the risk group, and I really don't want him getting sick. Technically he's retired, but he came back because he loves his long-term patients so much, me included in that list.

It's going to take a while for my aunt to research transition homes and find one for me. There's time yet. I really DO wish I could talk to him, though. My therapist is an awesome guy, he really, really understands how much my cats mean to me, and he doesn't make fun of me for it, or when I bring my teddy bear to sessions because Corey Bear calms me down.

I do get Social Security, however, the maximum is about $936, and I'm lucky to be getting that much. A person can't live off of that, you know?

Anyway, thank you guys for being so sweet and helpful. You guys are making me cry but in a good way.

 

[Jcatbird]

Don’t give up. Some low income people can get vet care support and I don’t know what type is Social security you get but you may qualify for another type. Some forms pay more than others. Do you have a case worker? You need to find one if you don’t. There are housing programs as well that base rent AND utilities on your income. The payments are extremely low for everything! A caseworker is better equipped to find things that suit your resources and programs to assist you further. Get your cat listed as support cats and proceed with a caseworker. Many people will work with you on the phone. An attorney who specializes in social security may be able to help too. Payment to them only happens if they accomplish something for you and is taken in small payments. An attorney can push the Railroad Retirment payments too. Don’t give up! You could try a gofundme page too! Keep us posted to what you learn and maybe others can advise with new information and help. You are not alone. We are here for you.

 

[Furballsmom]

He's not in his office due to the Coronavirus;

Call his office, leave a brief message and ask him to call you. There are lots of ways to do things non-contact .

 

[tarasgirl06]

Sorry, I just went to sleep with my kitties. I didn't want to be awake anymore.

No, I'm not sure how to reach my therapist right now. He's not in his office due to the Coronavirus; he's an older man, in the risk group, and I really don't want him getting sick. Technically he's retired, but he came back because he loves his long-term patients so much, me included in that list.

It's going to take a while for my aunt to research transition homes and find one for me. There's time yet. I really DO wish I could talk to him, though. My therapist is an awesome guy, he really, really understands how much my cats mean to me, and he doesn't make fun of me for it, or when I bring my teddy bear to sessions because Corey Bear calms me down.

I do get Social Security, however, the maximum is about $936, and I'm lucky to be getting that much. A person can't live off of that, you know?

Anyway, thank you guys for being so sweet and helpful. You guys are making me cry but in a good way.

Hello ariinya and welcome to TCS! I'm aspy, so we're kind of in the same boat. Here is a link that may help:
Relief - RedRover

You might want to try seeing if you could find a room for rent in someone's house. I know the dealing with strangers situation isn't great but right now it sounds like your need for a roof for yourself and your loved ones is priority one.

I'm in CA too and if I hadn't decided to get my roomies late last year, I might have been able to help, but unfortunately that isn't realistic now. The most important thing is to keep your cats with you.

If Red Rover can't help, you might also try contacting www.bestfriends.org -- they're headquartered in Kanab, Utah, but they have a presence here in L.A. and they have over 200 affiliated shelters plus all of us individuals. They may be able to direct you to someone/place that can help.

*Prayers* from the heart for you all. Keep us in the loop, please.

 

[Jcatbird]

Just checking in with you. Very much wishing that you feel more hopef today. We have lots of members in your state and the previous post gives excellent tips. Lots of kitty lovers around you! Perhaps finding a place to share with other kitty lovers would be a boost in many ways for you. Sharing the love always helps me and my kitties. Maybe that would be a happy thing for you and your kitties too.

 

[Mia6]

I hope things will work out. A note from your psychiatrist about the kitties is something that will
help you.

Love,
Mia

 

[ariinya]

tarasgirl06 thank you for the links, I'll certainly look into those!

As for renting a room in someone's house, I don't think that's a possibility. My aunt and uncle are the ones who are going to be searching for housing for me, likely something with other autistic people, or those with other disabilities. Someplace where they'll be able to teach me how to actually do things, you know? Like... laundry. Or using the dishwasher. Or simple cleaning. These are things I never learned because my mind simply couldn't hang on to the information, even though I tried really hard.

Also, my uncle is my Caretaker. He has sole control over any and all money that comes into my account. I'm not considered responsible enough to handle my money on my own. And they're probably right about that. ^^; If it was up to me, I'd spend everything on my cats, a little on groceries and games, and forget all about the bills.

Thank you, Jcatbird ! I never tire of bragging about my lovely kitties and how smart and wonderful and beautiful they are or sharing pictures of them. I'm doing all right, so long as I don't think about the future too much. The moment I do, I give myself a massive panic attack. Being in a place with strangers, without my cats, is terrifying. I just want things to go back to how they were before my dad died.

 

[tarasgirl06]

tarasgirl06 thank you for the links, I'll certainly look into those!

As for renting a room in someone's house, I don't think that's a possibility. My aunt and uncle are the ones who are going to be searching for housing for me, likely something with other autistic people, or those with other disabilities. Someplace where they'll be able to teach me how to actually do things, you know? Like... laundry. Or using the dishwasher. Or simple cleaning. These are things I never learned because my mind simply couldn't hang on to the information, even though I tried really hard.

Also, my uncle is my Caretaker. He has sole control over any and all money that comes into my account. I'm not considered responsible enough to handle my money on my own. And they're probably right about that. ^^; If it was up to me, I'd spend everything on my cats, a little on groceries and games, and forget all about the bills.

Thank you, Jcatbird ! I never tire of bragging about my lovely kitties and how smart and wonderful and beautiful they are or sharing pictures of them. I'm doing all right, so long as I don't think about the future too much. The moment I do, I give myself a massive panic attack. Being in a place with strangers, without my cats, is terrifying. I just want things to go back to how they were before my dad died.

Another cat-loving friend of mine who's also autistic had the same situation, pretty much. We lost touch, so IDK how they're doing, but always hope and pray they are okay because his dad and stepmom didn't seem to want him around and wanted him to be in a group home, too.

I'm a lot like you in how I look at life, it seems, and because I've had to deal with a lot of really big changes in my life kind of at the same time, it's meant that I've had to learn a lot of things I didn't know how to do before. I still have that uncertainty/concern about the future -- but then, I don't know anyone who doesn't in these times. It's like riding a roller coaster every day. If I focus on those things I get really upset, so I try to divert my own attention onto things I can control or see a way to deal with. For me, my "happy place" is in the evening when I take my dinner tray in to our room and watch some TV with my three cats. It's escaping for a little while.

 

[Jcatbird]

I’m sure your uncle knows the importance of your cats. Some group homes may welcome the kitties too as support for the house. Others can be helped by having kitties there. It’s something you can request from your uncle. Explain that more places are accepting kitties as support and please look for a place that does. One request from you and let him know you need that. Look for a brighter day to come. This could be a wonderful new beginning for you after so much. We all hope for you. Sending calming purrs from here.

 

[Furballsmom]

To follow with what Jcatbird said, talk with your uncle as soon as you can. I know you're trying to be strong, and sensitive to their troubles as well, but you also need to be strong for yourself and for the sake of your cats. Speak about them as soon as possible.

Another option could be, if there is a family member who isn't as effected by your recent tragedies who could take the cats for you.

 

[ariinya]

Furballsmom Sadly, the family member thing is out of the question. I didn't have much family to begin with. My aunt and uncle have greyhounds, and one of them would eat my cats (though I do know how sweet greyhounds and kitties can be together, I adopted my baby Molly from a lady who saved both cats and greyhounds), and my one cousin in town not only has dogs, she just lost her husband and then her job.

I will talk to my uncle, though, don't you worry, if there is even a glimmer of a chance I can keep my more skittish cats with me... they would be terribly unhappy in a foster home, which is my other hope. That the remaining two can be fostered out for the time it will take my application to be approved and an appropriate apartment to be found.

You guys really don't know how much I appreciate all of this. I was really hopeless when I first heard the news.

 

[Furballsmom]

I will talk to my uncle, though, don't you worry, if there is even a glimmer of a chance I can keep my more skittish cats with me...

I think you're a most incredible, amazing person, and you and your furbabies are in my prayers