Looking For Reassurance...

[D.E.B.]

Have you tried sitting in the kitty room for a while (like an hour or more) doing something quietly, like reading? You could even read aloud quietly, but if you haven't been in the room for extended periods basically minding your own business, that's a good place to start.

I also recommend a laser pointer for the kittens. Giving them a couple treats/a meal after a play session increases their positive associations with the activity and decreases the risk of frustration from not being able to catch the laser.

Thank you, war&wisdom...unfortunately I am taking care of my husband who has Alzheimer's and I cannot devote a whole hour in the kitty's room. I agree that would be ideal but I will have to continue to do the 15-minute segments for the time being. Thanks for the tip on the laser...not sure if I can get them out of hiding with that right now but I doubt it.

 

[D.E.B.]

Thank you for saving the little family. Here is the best video I have seen on socializing kittens

OMG - this little guy looks just like my 2 little ones...SO PRECIOUS. Thanks for the link...I will watch the video.

 

[D.E.B.]

Is mama kitty spayed yet? If not, she needs to be. This will calm her tremendously over time. In fact, the kittens should be fixed now too.

No, she is not...I cannot touch her and right now I am afraid that if I try and catch her, which will freak her out, that I will go back to square one with her trust issues. I also know that the kittens should be fixed too...I just hoped I could get them to a point where I could more easily put them in a cage to take to the vet's. I can figure out how to do that now, but again, it will traumatize them all and I just don't know if I should do that or give them a little more time.

 

[zed xyzed]

Another great video with some good pointers

 

[catsknowme]

D D.E.B. I, too, am a family caregiver as are a surprisingly fair amount of us are/were so can totally relate to your constraints. I often don't know whether to laugh or cry when I am given self-help advice: hire someone to come provide respite; practice yoga, go for walks/hikes; maintain a healthy social life; hire a housekeeper & a gardener; get professional counseling....where are the time-off & money supposed to come from? And good-luck convincing special needs adults to allow/accept care from anybody else - caregivers' risks are double-fold because elder/special needs' neglect and/or abuse prosecutions are politically valuable to the district attorney's elected position plus the sympathy value to the cared-for person has it's own rewards. Refusing to eat, falling and getting high blood pressure are just a few of the risks that a caregiver's attempts at self-care can cause.
As for the kitties, it is possible that short but frequent "visits" may help her realize that you are non-threatening. Cats are clever and assess their environment well.
Do you have a veterinarian who works with ferals? My vet will spay if a cat is in heat and will do a spay/abort at any time. When a queen is in season, she is often easier to catch. I have not had any feral queens have post-spay complications.

 

[D.E.B.]

D D.E.B. I, too, am a family caregiver as are a surprisingly fair amount of us are/were so can totally relate to your constraints. I often don't know whether to laugh or cry when I am given self-help advice: hire someone to come provide respite; practice yoga, go for walks/hikes; maintain a healthy social life; hire a housekeeper & a gardener; get professional counseling....where are the time-off & money supposed to come from? And good-luck convincing special needs adults to allow/accept care from anybody else - caregivers' risks are double-fold because elder/special needs' neglect and/or abuse prosecutions are politically valuable to the district attorney's elected position plus the sympathy value to the cared-for person has it's own rewards. Refusing to eat, falling and getting high blood pressure are just a few of the risks that a caregiver's attempts at self-care can cause.
As for the kitties, it is possible that short but frequent "visits" may help her realize that you are non-threatening. Cats are clever and assess their environment well.
Do you have a veterinarian who works with ferals? My vet will spay if a cat is in heat and will do a spay/abort at any time. When a queen is in season, she is often easier to catch. I have not had any feral queens have post-spay complications.

Catsknowme - your assessment is so true...helpful advice is usually not all that helpful although we always know people mean well. However, until someone has "walked a mile in your moccasins" they truly cannot understand. Hope you are well and enjoying your kitties...the care of our critters (I also have a horse) provide that distraction, along with the love and appreciation from those critters, that we really need to survive the "dark" days. My new kitty family gives me focus and a purpose and provides a welcome relief from care giving for short moments during the day.

Yes, my vet will work with ferals. That was my first call after I had them trapped...I needed to know if they could deal with the kitties AND, more importantly, if they felt I could hold off for awhile before bringing them in. It was a "Yes" on both questions.

 

[D.E.B.]

Another great video with some good pointers

Thank you...I had seen this video but I watched again. I LOVE to see the mama kitty relaxed and playing with the kittens...it brings tears to my eyes.