"letting Them Work It Out"

[stephmnichols]

Just curious about how far "letting them work it out" goes in terms of introductions?

We first introduced Maui into the household to Coffee a year ago now, and they are still in the "working things out" stage. Coffee is afraid of Maui, and wants nothing to do with her, and Maui thinks it is just the most entertaining thing ever to pester Coffee like an annoying little sibling. While they don't get in "fight" fights, it's a lot of grumbling/growling/hissing from Coffee when Maui gets too close, and sometimes some very theatrical yowling. I realize that this is stressful for Coffee which makes me want to separate them, but at the same time, Maui isn't actually attacking her. They've never drawn blood. So I don't know how much of it I need to be interfering versus letting it go.

Any input is greatly appreciated!

 

[Furballsmom]

Hi!
Can you love on and play with Coffee more to help build her confidence? Can you play with Maui more to wear her/him out so s/he's a little less eager to bother Coffee?

They do need to determine hierarchy but maybe give Coffee some time in a room just for her, with music, so the stress doesn't start to wear on her physical health.

These might help regarding your question, I'm not sure how old the two cats are;

How To Introduce A Kitten To An Older Cat

How To Successfully Introduce Cats: The Ultimate Guide

Are My Cats Fighting Or Playing?

 

[1 bruce 1]

If you're not around to supervise, I'd keep them separate but let them interact a few hours a day when you're there to referee. I think they do need to eventually work it out (outside of serious aggression that puts the victim at great risk), but at the same time it's not fair for the animal hiding to have to be in that state 24 hours a day.
Sometimes curiosity does wonders and if he's only around her an hour or two here or there, she might get more curious as time goes on.
Also, you don't want Maui to learn picking on Coffee is a good past time and have it escalate. Do they like toys? If you have a wand type toy, do you think they'd learn to eventually team up to kill the little thing on the end of the wand? (We've had good luck with this "cooperative kill" type game. They learn to work together before they're even friends!)

 

[Elphaba09]

Is it possible to re-introduce them slowly? In addition to what Furballsmom said, you may want to try redirecting Maui at the first sign of unwelcome behavior.

We have a lot of cats. The biggest problem was with Tara and Astrid. Astrid lacked confidence and Tara was a scaredy-cat who took it out on Astrid by stalking her and chasing her. While working with Astrid's confidence, we started redirecting Tara. When we say her stating to stalk Astrid, we would click our fingers, say her name, and get her attention either by removing her or with a toy. It is now to the point that she rarely stalks Astrid and she comes to me when I click my fingers and point next to me.

 

[ArtNJ]

I don't know anything except time will much impact one cat wanting to play and the other not wanting too & being stressed by it. I'd let them be, mostly because I don't think there is anything you can do. I mean, you can and should pet the scared cat behind a closed door at times, but if you separate them for the night or something it just causes the other cat to build up more excitement to play and makes mornings a source of anxiety. I don't think a reintroduction is likely to help because this isn't stranger danger or fear based on being hurt -- rather, its fear of being pounced on, how is a reintroduction going to touch that?

Time, unfortunately often on the scale of months and years, really does improve this. My older cat was the same way for a long a time, and at this point tolerates the younger cat except for the rare occasions the younger cat gets riled up, and even that seems to cause less stress.