Leaving Them For The First Time

[2rescuekitties]

Good afternoon everyone!

Been quite a while since I’ve posted on here. Been busy working on becoming a teacher over the past year and now that I have a second grade teaching job set up for the fall I have decided to take a 2 week vacation and go visit my family back home in Europe.

I’ve had my cats for over two years and never spent a night without them. My mom will be coming over in the morning and taking care of them, and then after she’s off work in the evening too. Ive written her quite the detailed list, bought treats for her to give them, bought new toys so she can give them something new to play with, and put out all the good and showed her how to prepare it as well.
As I’ve never spent time away from them, and then leaving for two weeks I am very anxious and nervous!
Are my cats going to be okay? Do they get mad if you leave? Or will the close bond change if I am gone for 2 weeks? Anything else I can do to make sure they will be okay? Or am I overthinking everything

 

[FeebysOwner]

Hi there! Congratulations on your new career/job! Your cats will be confused about where you are, to be sure. But, they won't forget you - especially if you had them for quite a while.

Does your mom visit them regularly? If not, I would suggest that she do so before you leave so that they have established a relationship with her before you go. She can help feed them, give them treats, and play with them while you are still present. That will make them feel more comfortable when you are not there.

You also want to leave some of your worn, unwashed clothing for them to be able to have your scent around them while you are not there. If they are used to you having music or TV on at various times, you can set up timers on the equipment so that they play in your absence - something they would be accustomed to as if you were there.

And, if it would make you feel better, you could always Skype with your mom while she is at your home, so the cats can hear your voice - and maybe even see your face?

 

[kissthisangel]

Hi, ideally they would have had some smaller stints of you being away from them, but you won't hate you for it. Leave their "safe spots" undisturbed, don't change your bedding etc. They'll make their own routine while your gone with your mom after a few days and when you come back they will adapt back to life with you.

 

[2rescuekitties]

Hi there! Congratulations on your new career/job! Your cats will be confused about where you are, to be sure. But, they won't forget you - especially if you had them for quite a while.

Does your mom visit them regularly? If not, I would suggest that she do so before you leave so that they have established a relationship with her before you go. She can help feed them, give them treats, and play with them while you are still present. That will make them feel more comfortable when you are not there.

You also want to leave some of your worn, unwashed clothing for them to be able to have your scent around them while you are not there. If they are used to you having music or TV on at various times, you can set up timers on the equipment so that they play in your absence - something they would be accustomed to as if you were there.

And, if it would make you feel better, you could always Skype with your mom while she is at your home, so the cats can hear your voice - and maybe even see your face?

So yes, she comes over quite a bit and the cats know who she is and they are pretty comfortable with her. She’s also been coming over every day this week and I’ve been letting her do the feeding just so they can get used to someone else. I will definitely be on skype a few times with them and check on them as well thank you! I just worry about them getting bored but my mom did she she would spend an hour with them in the morning, and then 2-3 hours with them in the evening. I have also shown her our routines and she’s very loving. I just worry they will hate me for leaving or be angry with me when I get back

 

[2rescuekitties]

Hi, ideally they would have had some smaller stints of you being away from them, but you won't hate you for it. Leave their "safe spots" undisturbed, don't change your bedding etc. They'll make their own routine while your gone with your mom after a few days and when you come back they will adapt back to life with you.

There’s been times that I left them alone for almost a day but never a full day. I don’t go out of town much and was busy with school the past few years so that’s why I was always home. And it’s just the cats and I at my apartment. I plan to leave some of my t shirts out, and won’t be changing anything before I leave. I just don’t want them to freak out over it and be stressed the whole time I’m gone. Will they just get over it after a few days? And possibly bond even more with my mom? She’s been feeding them this whole week and coming over just to let them get used to her

 

[susanm9006]

Your cats will of course miss you but they won’t be unhappy and they definitely won’t be mad at you for being gone. They will be happy in their home and doing the stuff they normally do during the day so your absence will be much harder on you than it is on them.

When you get home they might be a little hesitant at first but only because of all the new scents you bring in. I’ll bet that within minutes though they will be all over you.

Have a great trip.

 

[2rescuekitties]

Your cats will of course miss you but they won’t be unhappy and they definitely won’t be mad at you for being gone. They will be happy in their home and doing the stuff they normally do during the day so your absence will be much harder on you than it is on them.

When you get home they might be a little hesitant at first but only because of all the new scents you bring in. I’ll bet that within minutes though they will be all over you.

Have a great trip.

Thank you, you are for sure easing my anxiety with that. I really almost didn’t go because I was so worried. But I haven’t seen my grandparents and family back home in 5 years so I’m just hoping they will be okay for 13 days and I can have a nice time and come back re charged and relaxed

 

[susanm9006]

You might want to pick up a Wyze Cam. They are only around $26 dollars on Amazon and you would be able to see your babies anytime on video on your phone.

 

[apparatchic]

You might want to pick up a Wyze Cam. They are only around $26 dollars on Amazon and you would be able to see your babies anytime on video on your phone.

I just got one of these for my cats! It has really eased my anxiety - every time I check on them, they're sleeping. Today they only changed spots once each. It's easy to set up too!

 

[CatLoverOnWheels]

I'm leaving my cat for 4 weeks (unavoidable but hoping to cut it short to 2-3 weeks) and i'm feeling pretty guilty too! I've not left so much as there's always been someone at home and this time, there will be but they do shift work (school runs, some more taxi-ing, and night shifts in weekends) but I've got some extra few people with spare keys to check in on her as they check in post, litter tray and food.

I know deep down they'll be fine but I suppose it's just guilt and worry as us, main cat owners, are there all the time.

 

[CatLoverOnWheels]

You might want to pick up a Wyze Cam. They are only around $26 dollars on Amazon and you would be able to see your babies anytime on video on your phone.

i wish I saw this last week so I could order before my trip. Oh well, perhaps next time

 

[2rescuekitties]

You might want to pick up a Wyze Cam. They are only around $26 dollars on Amazon and you would be able to see your babies anytime on video on your phone.

I will definitely look into that tonight thank you! I just want them to be okay and not think I abandoned them and I don’t want them to stress

 

[2rescuekitties]

I'm leaving my cat for 4 weeks (unavoidable but hoping to cut it short to 2-3 weeks) and i'm feeling pretty guilty too! I've not left so much as there's always been someone at home and this time, there will be but they do shift work (school runs, some more taxi-ing, and night shifts in weekends) but I've got some extra few people with spare keys to check in on her as they check in post, litter tray and food.

I know deep down they'll be fine but I suppose it's just guilt and worry as us, main cat owners, are there all the time.

Yea, my mom will come over twice a day and play with them and hang out too, but I still just feel so bad and guilty for leaving them, but they are my babies and I want them to just be okay!

 

[2rescuekitties]

UPDATE:

So I’ve been gone for 3 days now and my mom has been going over to my place twice a day. She gives them both treats, plays with them, loves on them, and usually stays for about 2 hours each time she visits.
She told me today that Stella popped in the bedroom.
Stella has never ever done this, but my mom said she’s eating fine, and accepts pets and belly scratches from my mom, and even plays a little. My mom also said she sleeps on the shirt I left on my bed all the time too. She has never ever pooped outside the litter box. Is she stressed? Will this ease up? It makes me want to just fly home because I’m worried about her

 

[FeebysOwner]

Hi. It doesn't sound too bad, even though she pooped outside the litter box. Make sure your mom cleans it/them out each time she is there, just in case there is a little more 'stuff' in them than normal when you are home. And, if you have anything to treat the area with to get rid of the smell, that wouldn't hurt to do as well, so she is not 'encouraged' to use that spot again and again.

Is the litter box near where she pooped? Either way, you could try adding an extra litter box over the place where she pooped, or move the existing one if it is not too far from where she went. It can't be moved drastically or it would be too much of change.

See what happens over the course of a few more days - she might get more settled and will go back to routinely using the box.

If you have any more clothes that you've worn and not washed, make sure your mom changes out/or adds to the 'old' with 'new' every few days or so, just to make sure your scent stays 'fresh'.

 

[2rescuekitties]

Hi. It doesn't sound too bad, even though she pooped outside the litter box. Make sure your mom cleans it/them out each time she is there, just in case there is a little more 'stuff' in them than normal when you are home. And, if you have anything to treat the area with to get rid of the smell, that wouldn't hurt to do as well, so she is not 'encouraged' to use that spot again and again.

Is the litter box near where she pooped? Either way, you could try adding an extra litter box over the place where she pooped, or move the existing one if it is not too far from where she went. It can't be moved drastically or it would be too much of change.

See what happens over the course of a few more days - she might get more settled and will go back to routinely using the box.

If you have any more clothes that you've worn and not washed, make sure your mom changes out/or adds to the 'old' with 'new' every few days or so, just to make sure your scent stays 'fresh'.

So she pooped in my bedroom under this bench that she likes to lay under. It’s a spot I find her sleeping in quite often which is why I am worried she pooped there. And the litter box is in the bathroom right across the hallway. My mom says she cleans it out daily so I feel like it’s separation anxiety which kills me and just makes me want to go home which I can’t till for another 10 days

 

[FeebysOwner]

If your mom can make sure that area is cleaned, then still wait and see what happens. If need be, if the area is wet from being cleaned, have your mom lay a really heavy towel over the spot (maybe with a piece of your unwashed clothing as well) and see how that plays out.

Yeah, she's probably a little concerned that you are gone, but since she is eating/drinking OK and playing with your mom, those are all goods things!

 

[2rescuekitties]

If your mom can make sure that area is cleaned, then still wait and see what happens. If need be, if the area is wet from being cleaned, have your mom lay a really heavy towel over the spot (maybe with a piece of your unwashed clothing as well) and see how that plays out.

Yeah, she's probably a little concerned that you are gone, but since she is eating/drinking OK and playing with your mom, those are all goods things!

Do you think as the days go on she might just get accustomed to my mom being there and be alright? I just worry so much, and I’ve never left her before ever not even for a night, and yes my mom cleaned it up with the pet deodorizer

 

[FeebysOwner]

In all likelihood, since she seems to like having your mom around and plays with her, she will adapt - or at least, I think so! Your mom will let you know if things change for the better or worse. But, I am sure when you get home, she will be glad you are back!!

 

[2rescuekitties]

In all likelihood, since she seems to like having your mom around and plays with her, she will adapt - or at least, I think so! Your mom will let you know if things change for the better or worse. But, I am sure when you get home, she will be glad you are back!!

I really hope so! She’s my baby and I too am having separation anxiety from them, especially from her