Leaving Cat And Kitten Unsupervised?

[LolaKitty02]

My husband and I got a new kitten three months ago (she's now 5 months old) and is very sweet, playful and high energy. We went through the full introduction process with our older, 7-year-old male cat as recommended and there has been relative harmony for the past couple of months. Overall, our male cat seems to tolerate our kitten and even plays with her when he's in the mood, but puts her in her place when she's feisty with him (pins her down, rabbit kick, bites) and we usually break it up when they start making noises, sometimes even before.

I've been leaving the kitten in her room with all her toys, food, bed, litter box during the day while my husband and I are at work and at night when we go to bed to give our older cat a "break" and because I'm not sure if I can fully trust him yet. He's an active cat and has scratched and bitten my husband and I in the past, but was mostly in reaction to our moves from apartment into a new house and he's usually a really sweet cat -- I just know the damage he can cause if pushed to his limit by a new, feisty kitten. (he gave my husband cat scratch fever after a particularly nasty bite to the shin got infected)

Does anyone have any tips for how I can start to leave her out of her room? Should I wait until she gets a little bigger? She's five pounds right now, compared to my larger cat's 13lbs. so she's still a lot smaller than him. I'm so conflicted bc today when I was leaving for work my older cat was settled into his couch spot and she was in the sunroom on her cat tree just minding her own business and I felt so bad about putting her in the room (she's got her own tree by a window in the room, but I just feel bad still)

Should I just let them out together at night and test it? I'm just so worried she'll start annoying him and he'll react and she'll get hurt.

 

[ArtNJ]

Since your cats get along reasonably, things are fairly unlikely to go seriously south while you are gone. Negative changes can happen, not saying they don't, but that possibility is always going to be there. It won't wholly go away next month, or in three months, or ever, although it will tend to decrease as the kitten gets less active. So there isn't a lot of gain to separating them for some additional period.

And there is something to lose by separating them as well. More hours will give them a chance to become better buds. When you separate a kitten from a playmate, it gets bored and very, very eager, and will tend to overdo it on the older cat, causing annoyance. Left to their own devices instead, the kitten gets it out of their system, and they have a better chance to connect because the older cat gets to see mellow kitten, instead of always seeing hyper annoying kitten.

In short, you are being a little overprotective. Better that than the opposite for sure, your concern is a good reflection on you, but I think you will all benefit if you ease up a bit.

 

[susanm9006]

I am with A ArtNJ . Provided your home is relatively Kitten proofed, your young one is old enough to join the other while you are at work. Less boredom for both and a good way for them to bond.

 

[LolaKitty02]

Thank you both so much for your responses. I am definitely too protective (my husband picks on me all the time about it) when it comes to my cats and I want so badly for them to like each other. I'm going to take that leap of faith tonight and see tomorrow during work goes. I think just the reassurance from others who know cats helps set my mind at ease.

Fingers crossed! I'll report back

 

[LolaKitty02]

So, we've taken a bit of a step back in recent days unfortunately and I'm not sure what to do.

My older cat has become more aggressive with the kitten and hissing a lot more and overall seems more agitated and anxious. I think this is mostly because I've just been letting them go and trying not to separate them as much. However, the kitten is just so high energy and jumps on our older cat in an effort to start a play session and sometimes the older cat will hiss or let out a high pitched meow, in which case I try and distract the kitten with a toy. But other times when my older cat plays with the kitten and chasing each other, it seems to escalate to the point where my older cat is aggressively chasing the kitten and the kitten hides under the couch and my cat does everything to try and get the kitten, sometimes wedging himself under the couch, attacking the kitten. This past time, I heard the kitten make a noise and I separated them and my older cat was puffy and his eyes were huge. He then hissed at me.

Yesterday, I noticed a little patch of hair missing on the kitten from what looks to have been a scratch from the older cat. It's just so weird because when the kitten is sleeping and laying down, my older cat will groom her and the other day laid next to her. They also have moments when they totally ignore each other and everything seems fine. My older cat definitely doesn't like the kitten on our bed or going near the basement door where I get their food from - which is weird because when I feed them my older cat never gets agitated if the kitten is nearby, he's just weird about the door...

I'm so torn because I want to leave the kitten out, but I'm nervous things will escalate when I'm not there to divert her attention to a toy and because my older cat has been unpredictable with his aggression toward her. Sometimes he's fine and other times it seems like he's hunting her. It's so strange, I'm not sure how to move forward without keeping them separated while I'm not home.

Also, full disclosure bc I know sometimes unpredictable aggression can signal health issues, I've taken the older cat to the vet last month and he got a fully clean bill of health. In fact, the vet noted on his form: "Healthy, but grumpy" (he doesn't like going to the vet at all)

 

[susanm9006]

If the older cat is grooming the kitten he likes her. So I would relax and just let them interact. He may be annoying her but he won’t really hurt her. I wouldn’t worry about the hissing or the noises from the kitten either, it is just a communication between the two as they work out boundaries.

 

[Ardina]

Saipha and Mishka are best buddies and groom and sleep together. Even so, when Mishka gets into her kitten zoomies or bats at Saipha's tail one too many times, she will get a hiss and a swat. When Mishka was younger (from age 3-6 months), Saipha would also pin her down during playtime, and Mishka would squeal like she was dying. But, as soon as Saipha let her up, Mishka would go right back to pouncing on Saipha. I rarely interfered, and now Mishka has impeccable cat manners (except when she forgets herself and can't resist jumping on Saipha).

Most of this sounds like your two are working things out and that your cat is teaching your kitten some manners. But, if your cat does get single-mindedly focused on chasing your kitten, feel free to distract him with a toy. Also, make sure your kitten has some small hiding spots that your cat can't get into, just so she has a safe place to take a break. It'll also help to tire out your kitten with interactive playtime, so she has less energy to bother your cat.

 

[Willowy]

Is she spayed yet? If not, she's probably getting ready to go into heat and he's reacting to her hormones. It can a little bewildering for an older neutered male.

If she is spayed, he may need a bit more alone time. I'd keep ehr out when you aren't home, most of the time, but try to spend some one-on-one time with him every day, maybe put her in another room while you play with him for a few minutes.

 

[LolaKitty02]

She is spayed, she's just gets a case of the crazies sometimes, which I understand is totally normal for her (5.5 months) age. I guess I just get most concerned the last time that his fur and tail were puffed up a bit and his pupils were huge. That scared me because that seemed like a whole other level and not playing. She was hiding under the couch at that point but he was literally like moving the ottoman to get to her which seemed more aggressive to me and that's when I intervened.

The grooming thing confuses me though because he only grooms her when she is totally out in a deep sleep. If she starts to move or reciprocate and groom him, he gets agitated and will swat at her and sometimes hiss. It makes me feel bad for her bc she's not being crazy then, she's just trying to reciprocate the grooming but he does not allow it at all. It seems like it's either everything is on his terms or nothing.

 

[Willowy]

Pretty normal. He's just trying to show her who's boss. She'll probably be boss when she's older---female cats are usually tougher than males---but for now he wants to pretend to be tough. Sounds like everything is going pretty well.

 

[LolaKitty02]

Thanks for your responses! I appreciate the advice, I'm hoping these two end up as best buddies. Just so confusing when they get rough, especially from the older cat bc he's never really been around other cats before