Kitty With An Invisibility Cloak

[mikageme07]

Hi! I need help again. This time with another cat. My housemate got a cat the day after I got mine and so far, things are not so good. She's had the almost 5-month old kitten for more than 3 weeks now but still, the kitten won't open up to us more than we thought she would, given such a long time. She hides when anybody enters the room (she does this less with me because I tend to ignore and pet her alternately when I see her to make her get used to my presence). She also started pooping beneath the bench despite having litter training previously. She's very active at play and likes petting sometimes, but still, the main problem is how difficult it is to get a hold of her. We've tried putting her on a leash near the litter box and letting her go after she poops. It works for a while. Then before you know it, she goes off again, hides under the bed and poops under the bench.
any suggestions? because my housemate gets very frustrated that the cat is not showing love for her and I always hear her grumbling about giving the cat away to other people. I've tried talking to her. but I think that unless she sees the cat warm up to her, she might be giving her away before next month.

 

[Chris_Takas]

hey mikageme07
I have written about my moms cat before in various threads. It took months for her to feel comfortable and safe enough. She used to hide under the sofa for months. Before we got her she had a tough life as a lone survivor of a fox attack. Needless to say she was traumatized. All I want to say is that sometimes we dont know what the cat has been through before we adopt them. 3 weeks is not that long.
Cats sense anxiety and feel the stress. That might be the reason, among others, for the pooping. The other reason could be wrong litter, not enough litter, wrong place of the litter box, not cleaned well enough, illness.
My guess is that she just might be stressed. I would advise for more patients. A leash is not the way i would say.
I dont want to ramble on but think about the evolutionary process of a cat. Why do cats bury their wast? So no predator can track their position. So for them its vital to have a safe place to go to bathroom.
How are the 2 cats getting along? Have they been introduced properly?
I hope the situation changes for all involved!

 

[mikageme07]

I see. Yes, I can tell that they have were stressed before coming here. especially the cat that I got. He was in poor health- very thin, starved, passive, infested with ticks, and a whole lot more. But he is doing better now, he gained weight, has clean and clean fluffy fur and is the sweetest cat to me. But the cat that my housemate got is still very flighty. she responds to me when I talk to her and pet her. During playtime, she's very active and likes to be held. The two of them love to play together so much that we can't study at night. ha ha. but that's okay because they are just so cute! But her mom is getting stressed that she's not receiving love from the cat. I also keep telling her that it will take time but I think she's doubtful about keeping the cat now.
I will try and tell her. and also about the leash, we'll take it off for now. thanks for the help!

 

[Chris_Takas]

Its great to hear you take so good care of your fluffy! Is it possible that you take the other kitty also? Its a good sign that they are playing and getting along. If your roommate cant muster the patients, perhaps you can?
the pics you attached are adorable! is that your cat or the roommates?

 

[mikageme07]

that's Arya, my housemate's cat. I do try to make her ease up, but progress is slow. I don't think my housemate can endure. But I will talk to her again about keeping the cat.
this is Taiga, my cat

 

[Chris_Takas]

Super cute!! I hope everything will work out! Keep us posted and good luck!

 

[danteshuman]

About pooping under the bench; my first thought is block off access to under the bench. Or get rid of the bench. Add extra litter boxes near the bench (I would vote uncovered so she doesn't feel trapped when going or trying to remove the lid and adding it if needed.) I would also give her a cardboard box on it's side with a towel or blanket draped over it so there is a small cat size sliver she can enter her safe zone box in. Give her 2-3 throughout the house. Anything you can do to reduce her stress will help.

Was she socialized as a kitten? Trust me it is important. They say it is between 2-7 weeks for a kitten to be socialized, 14 weeks if you are lucky. If she was not socialized by that age you may need tips on dealing with a feral cat. We can help. She may wind up being semi-feral. I live with one .... and though he does have a nightly cuddle routine every night he is not like my boys who were socialized as wee kittens. Our semi-feral lets us pick him up ... but no one really tries to clip his claws. If she is semi-feral she can learn from watching the other cat how to interact with humans. (Or train humans ) So there is hope but she may never be a follow you around, lap cat type of cat. If so just snuggle up the other cat while accepting her as she is.

I'm assuming she has been cleared by a vet of all health issues? That there are no neighborhood cats hanging out in your front or back yard? (If there are we can help you make your place unfriendly for them so she can feel secure.)

10 Must-know Tips For Happy Living With A Shy Cat
How To Solve Litterbox Problems In Cats: The Ultimate Guide
What if the New Kitten is Scared of You?

 

[Caspers Human]

My impression is that your housemate got a cat on impulse, the day after you, but wasn't really ready to have a cat.

Three weeks is a very short time for a cat to adjust to its new home but, already, your roommate is grumbling because the cat hasn't warmed up to her. The fact that the cat has warmed up to you but not her further fuels my impression.

You can't treat a cat the same way as a dog, especially when it's still adjusting to new people, places, things and other cats. Yet I get the feeling your roommate expects the cat to come when she calls it and, otherwise, behave like a dog.

I also think that your roommate is jealous because HER cat seems to like you better. The truth is that you are just better at understanding cat behavior. A cat will naturally gravitate toward people who act better around cats.

In my opinion, your roommate needs to have more patience and double down on her cat etiquette.

If she's not willing to put some more skin in this game, I think that she should either give the cat to you or rehome it.

I have had seven cats in my lifetime. Three of them were mine, personally, and four of them were either a roommate's cats or family cats. Further, I have had many, many dogs. My father bred dogs when I was a kid. I can speak "Cat" as well as I can speak "Dog." I like cats as well as I like dogs but I'm better with dogs. Consequently, I often have to stop and think for a minute before I try to relate to a cat... especially a new cat.

Our current cat, "Casper," was a rescued cat. When he first came to live with us, he was very skittish. He spent days hiding under the bed when he first moved in and it was months before he stopped darting under the furniture when anybody came into the room or if there was a loud noise. He'd even hide if somebody rang the doorbell.

Casper has been living here for a little over two years and, during that time, he has always been closer to his "Girl-Human" than to me. He'll curl up beside her on the sofa or sleep beside her on the bed but, for a long time, he has only seen fit for me to give him a pat on the head or gently stroke his tail. Only recently has he stayed on the sofa when I come to sit down or he has come to lay at the foot of the bed while I'm sleeping.

It took two-plus YEARS!

In my opinion, your roommate needs to get that into her head or else call it quits.

If she does, I guarantee that your new kitten will warm up to her and stop pooping where she shouldn't.

If she doesn't, my advice is to make other arrangements for the cat.

 

[ailish]

Ailish wasn't much of a presence in the daytime for about a month and a half. She hid either in my closet or behind some furniture. I just let her be and eventually she got comfortable. She's still shy with strangers and loud noises, but she's very affectionate with me. Maybe your roommate should rehome the cat. Or give it to you. Cats are beings, not toys. They turn out to be exactly what we wanted in a cat only rarely and by accident. If she can't adjust to and enjoy the cat she has, maybe she shouldn't have a cat.