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Hey y'all, thanks for checking out my post. I apologize in advance for writing a book, but I wanted to be thorough and tried to include as many details as I could in case one of them could help you help me.
Recently my three kitties have been at each other's throats more and more. It started maybe a month ago (a little while after the new kitten got spayed - she joined the family about 6 months ago) and has escalated to a fight or three every day, and constant fighting nightly when we're trying to go to sleep. It's started to take an hour or so for them to finally settle down so we can finally go to sleep. I believe the increased fighting at night (vs. the day time) is caused by them all being locked in our bedroom, in more confined quarters. The bedroom is home base when we're in bed or out of the house and unable to supervise them (my two youngest have taken a liking to getting on the kitchen counters, the dining room table, and generally galavanting at high speeds around the house willy-nilly).
I know that cats don't have social ranks as in dog packs, but I'll try to explain the social situation as best I can:
Lanie: 6 years old. I guess she'd be considered the alpha cat. Mature, but enjoys playing with the kitten when she's in the mood. Generally well-behaved, but now getting more and more aggressive toward my two youngest. It's easy to tell when she's one of the fighters, as she has a hair-raising yowl that sounds like she's being skinned alive. She has a large personal "bubble" and may or may not attack any cat invading it. Suspicious and conserved around most people (she used to be a real scaredy-cat but has become more brave over the years), but is very loving toward me only. I'm her special human. She sometimes puts up with pets from other people.
Lily: 2 years old. Submissive would be the best description for her attitude - she's a pushover. Used to be playful with Lanie, and originally was with the kitten, but has recently become more sedentary (and slightly overweight, but we're working on that) and solitary, often growling at any cat that comes near, and then moving away, even resorting to running if necessary to escape any offers to play. She's become very jealous of the kitten, though we make sure that we show affection equally and treat each cat the same. She used to be up for loving at any time, and would spend a lot of time in any available lap, but now ducks pets more often than not (especially after one of us has held the kitten) and lays in whatever spot that is near one of us but just out of arm's reach.
Luna: 6 months old. Very playful (of course), and also very loving. She talks (coos) constantly - it's adorable. Lanie still plays with her fairly often, but her attempts to invite Lily into a game are now rebuffed. If she pursues Lily a fight ensues, generally consisting of a chase, a few whacks to the head for Luna, and growing/hissing/spitting on Lily's part. This is typically the reaction to a playful pounce, but sometimes occurs when Luna tries to join Lily for a grooming/cuddle session. It's obvious to us that Luna misses the time she spent with Lily. Lily was her big sister whom she still absolutely adores, and she's confused by the change in Lily's attitude. Lily just wants nothing to do with Luna now, and we have no clue why.
It's typically hard to determine the instigator of each fight; any one of the cats can be the perpetrator, and often we don't notice until the growling (Lily) or yowling (Lanie) starts, especially at night when it's dark. The fights are always between just two of the cats at a time. No one gets hurt, except maybe their feelings, but it's very disruptive and distressing. We THINK a few of the causes are:
1) Luna wants to play, and the older cat she's inviting to a recreation session does not want to join. If it's Lanie, this can cause an immediate ear-splitting yowl coupled with a swat or three in Luna's direction; if Lily's the target, she retreats (often with a growl and a few whacks to the kitten's head) and may be chased around the room until either she gets into a corner and growls her point across or one of us gets involved. Sometimes a loud "hey!" or "knock it off!" will put a stop to the fight, and sometimes we have to actually catch the cat(s) to separate them.
2) Someone invades Lanie's personal space (which can be unreasonably large) and she goes on the offensive. This is usually followed by her yowl and a rush toward the offender until they either get far enough away or are chased around for a sufficient amount of time (or until human intervention). Often, though, she's not bothered by being near another cat. She's rather unpredictable in this regard.
3) Lanie (seemingly randomly) decides to bully someone. Before all this group discord started this didn't happen as far as we can recall. The bullying typically starts with her staring intently at the victim and can eventually progress to the aforementioned yowl, batting, and/or chasing.
We know that Lily instigates some of the fights - we just cannot come up with any explanation as to why. We're baffled and stumped. She used to be so passive. And loving, toward both her "sisters" and her humans.
I miss when my kitties would make a cuddle pile, groom each other (well, Lily and Luna would - Lanie's a stickler about doing her own hair), play happily and enthusiastically together, and just plain old get along.
What can I do to have my babies behave again?
Thanks for making it through this long post, and for any feedback you can offer!
Lauren, Lanie, Lily, and Luna
Recently my three kitties have been at each other's throats more and more. It started maybe a month ago (a little while after the new kitten got spayed - she joined the family about 6 months ago) and has escalated to a fight or three every day, and constant fighting nightly when we're trying to go to sleep. It's started to take an hour or so for them to finally settle down so we can finally go to sleep. I believe the increased fighting at night (vs. the day time) is caused by them all being locked in our bedroom, in more confined quarters. The bedroom is home base when we're in bed or out of the house and unable to supervise them (my two youngest have taken a liking to getting on the kitchen counters, the dining room table, and generally galavanting at high speeds around the house willy-nilly).
I know that cats don't have social ranks as in dog packs, but I'll try to explain the social situation as best I can:
Lanie: 6 years old. I guess she'd be considered the alpha cat. Mature, but enjoys playing with the kitten when she's in the mood. Generally well-behaved, but now getting more and more aggressive toward my two youngest. It's easy to tell when she's one of the fighters, as she has a hair-raising yowl that sounds like she's being skinned alive. She has a large personal "bubble" and may or may not attack any cat invading it. Suspicious and conserved around most people (she used to be a real scaredy-cat but has become more brave over the years), but is very loving toward me only. I'm her special human. She sometimes puts up with pets from other people.
Lily: 2 years old. Submissive would be the best description for her attitude - she's a pushover. Used to be playful with Lanie, and originally was with the kitten, but has recently become more sedentary (and slightly overweight, but we're working on that) and solitary, often growling at any cat that comes near, and then moving away, even resorting to running if necessary to escape any offers to play. She's become very jealous of the kitten, though we make sure that we show affection equally and treat each cat the same. She used to be up for loving at any time, and would spend a lot of time in any available lap, but now ducks pets more often than not (especially after one of us has held the kitten) and lays in whatever spot that is near one of us but just out of arm's reach.
Luna: 6 months old. Very playful (of course), and also very loving. She talks (coos) constantly - it's adorable. Lanie still plays with her fairly often, but her attempts to invite Lily into a game are now rebuffed. If she pursues Lily a fight ensues, generally consisting of a chase, a few whacks to the head for Luna, and growing/hissing/spitting on Lily's part. This is typically the reaction to a playful pounce, but sometimes occurs when Luna tries to join Lily for a grooming/cuddle session. It's obvious to us that Luna misses the time she spent with Lily. Lily was her big sister whom she still absolutely adores, and she's confused by the change in Lily's attitude. Lily just wants nothing to do with Luna now, and we have no clue why.
It's typically hard to determine the instigator of each fight; any one of the cats can be the perpetrator, and often we don't notice until the growling (Lily) or yowling (Lanie) starts, especially at night when it's dark. The fights are always between just two of the cats at a time. No one gets hurt, except maybe their feelings, but it's very disruptive and distressing. We THINK a few of the causes are:
1) Luna wants to play, and the older cat she's inviting to a recreation session does not want to join. If it's Lanie, this can cause an immediate ear-splitting yowl coupled with a swat or three in Luna's direction; if Lily's the target, she retreats (often with a growl and a few whacks to the kitten's head) and may be chased around the room until either she gets into a corner and growls her point across or one of us gets involved. Sometimes a loud "hey!" or "knock it off!" will put a stop to the fight, and sometimes we have to actually catch the cat(s) to separate them.
2) Someone invades Lanie's personal space (which can be unreasonably large) and she goes on the offensive. This is usually followed by her yowl and a rush toward the offender until they either get far enough away or are chased around for a sufficient amount of time (or until human intervention). Often, though, she's not bothered by being near another cat. She's rather unpredictable in this regard.
3) Lanie (seemingly randomly) decides to bully someone. Before all this group discord started this didn't happen as far as we can recall. The bullying typically starts with her staring intently at the victim and can eventually progress to the aforementioned yowl, batting, and/or chasing.
We know that Lily instigates some of the fights - we just cannot come up with any explanation as to why. We're baffled and stumped. She used to be so passive. And loving, toward both her "sisters" and her humans.
I miss when my kitties would make a cuddle pile, groom each other (well, Lily and Luna would - Lanie's a stickler about doing her own hair), play happily and enthusiastically together, and just plain old get along.
What can I do to have my babies behave again?
Thanks for making it through this long post, and for any feedback you can offer!
