I just got a 3 month old kitten. She is shy but is starting to slowly come out of her shell. My question is this…how do I get her so she isn’t petrified when people come over. I would like her to be like my other cats which are quite social.
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Kitten scared
- Thread starter Sam1967
- Start Date
The answer is: Time. All cats are different and some, even young ones, can have shy personalities. I would expect that she will come around gradually on her own. Ensure she has a safe place to hide - preferably in another room away from any company - and let her begin to investigate other people when she is ready. If she starts to do so, tell your company to more or less ignore her and certainly not try to reach down to pet her. If, over time, she gets close to them or touches them, then they can slowly try to pet her a bit.
I agree with Time, but would add Frequency. A lot of people found that their cats were afraid of strangers after the pandemic, and since the wife and I don't have others over much, I found that as my kids aged and the number of their friends spending hours in our house changed dramatically, so too did the cats friendlyness with strangers. The same cat may have different feelings about visitors at various points in their life.
There are interventions one can do to help. I know Jackson Galaxy has a segment on this very issue on his TV show. But for the most part, its Time, Frequency and your cat's inherent personality, and you'll have to wait and see what happens.
There is also a big random and/or strange element to it. I had a friendly cat that was scared of my mom's walker, which wasn't all that noisy and moved slowly. Cats can be hard to figure out.
There are interventions one can do to help. I know Jackson Galaxy has a segment on this very issue on his TV show. But for the most part, its Time, Frequency and your cat's inherent personality, and you'll have to wait and see what happens.
There is also a big random and/or strange element to it. I had a friendly cat that was scared of my mom's walker, which wasn't all that noisy and moved slowly. Cats can be hard to figure out.
Gentle, frequent introductions to new people are the best way to do this. Mine are all quite friendly and interactive with guests that leave them alone. Tell visitors to ignore the cats, and they'll likely come over on their own terms. If your cats are food-motivated, having the guests give them a treat works wonders, too. They always associate good feelings toward those bearing gifts.
Every cat has their own personality. Some cats are social while others hide. You can try to encourage the kitten to be less fearful of strangers but if the kitten just wants to hide from people, just let her.
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It sounds a bit mean but think about who you introduce her to for a bit too.
No doubt you want everyone to meet your new family member but to avoid experiences that might scare her and put her off people try to stick to people who are quieter and more sensitive to reading cat behaviour.
Encourage people not to crowd in and approach her but talk calmly and quietly and try to tempt her out with her favourite toys. No rushing in to try and pick her up.
When Mouse was little he was very confident apart from when people came to our front door and if they then came in. He actually liked to be lifted up before I answered the door and held him at my chest height so he was on a level with who was there. It was like he was then equal and able to feel safe letting them in. Wouldn't work for all cats but for him it was great.
No doubt you want everyone to meet your new family member but to avoid experiences that might scare her and put her off people try to stick to people who are quieter and more sensitive to reading cat behaviour.
Encourage people not to crowd in and approach her but talk calmly and quietly and try to tempt her out with her favourite toys. No rushing in to try and pick her up.
When Mouse was little he was very confident apart from when people came to our front door and if they then came in. He actually liked to be lifted up before I answered the door and held him at my chest height so he was on a level with who was there. It was like he was then equal and able to feel safe letting them in. Wouldn't work for all cats but for him it was great.
The "don't pick up" rule is a good one to follow. Even though mine are quite sociable, If they're picked up against their will, they'll cry and squirm away, and you won't see them again until the visitors leave. If you leave them alone, within five minutes they'll come up for pets or maybe to sit next to you on the sofa.
