Kitten is very fearful/skittish

[bg2000]

My 11 month old kitten is incredibly fearful and skittish, going into panic mode at seemingly nothing.

My friend took in a stray cat who turned out to be pregnant. He is from that litter. His mom, though stray, was very friendly and gregarious. He has only in that home, and in my home. When I first met him at 6 weeks he wasn't very social, but it wasn't concerning. He was the same at 8 weeks when I brought him to my house. He soon warmed up to me and my girlfriend, he has always loved my dog and other cat. Every Wednesday I would bring him to my parents house to get him used to new situations and places. Each time he became more and more skittish until I had to stop. I assumed he would get more and more used to it, but he only got worse. When someone would come to my house when he was younger he would hide. Again, he never got used to it, for each time someone came over he would get more fearful, not more used to it. He finally 'broke' when a plumber came in my house for 15 mins this summer. He went into hiding, terrified of everything, and it took him over a week to leave the living room. Currently he's afraid of me if I make a move he doesn't like. Examples- I wore a hat he hadn't seen before. This caused him to be fearful of me for days. I wore a new pair of pants that he wasn't used to the smell of, he was afraid of me for days after. The other day I stopped home to feed my dog at lunch time, I was in a rush, he could sense I was in a rush, and now he's been afraid of me for the past 3 days.

I can no longer have people over to my house because of how fearful he is, and how long it takes him to recover. I myself have to tip toe around. I can't walk fast, walk with heavy feet, or make any quick movements, or he'll go into hiding for days.

He has never ever had a negative experience with humans. He went from my friends house to my house and has been spoiled and treated like a king.

He has been to the vet for this, and he was prescribed Prozac, however I haven't given it to him as the main symptom is lack of appetite, and he is a very very poor eater. He's been hospitalized twice for not eating, and I can't risk that side effect. The vet couldn't figure out why he wouldn't eat, he currently has a clean bill of health.

Does anyone have any suggestions? *PLEASE* do not tell me to use food as a motivator. He has less than ZERO food motivation. Treats, tuna, cat food, it doesn't matter. He doesn't have a good appetite and he's not in any way motivated by food. He also is not motivated by toys, so please don't mention that.

I'm getting at my wits end here and I'm not sure what to do. I have tried socializing him and he only gets worse, not better. I can't go on any trips where someone would come over and feed him because it would send him into a panic. I coddle him like a baby and he's still fearful of me if I make the wrong move.

 

[FeebysOwner]

Hi. I am not sure I have much to offer, but if putting him on Prozac concerns you due to a possible inappetence side effect, would it be possible to have an appetite stimulant on hand to give him if he would show signs of not wanting to eat? This would only be for the purposes of seeing if the Prozac would help any - both meds could be stopped if not. You could also ask the vet about other anti-anxiety meds that don't typically have inappetence as a side effect.

Does he spend a lot of time with your other cat? Does that change his demeanor at all when he is around this cat, or even the dog for that matter? I was just wondering if that helps ease his anxieties any. You would think he could have/can learn from observing the interactions between humans and the other cat. I would also suggest if you have people over to make arrangements to give him a closed off room to be in so that he doesn't have to go through being exposed to them. Not a corrective solution but one that would make things easier on all of you.

Something else to consider - more or less on the back burner for now - would be adopting a cat just a bit older than him and see if that might help bring him out of his shell over time. This might be helpful if your other cat is older and not so much 'into' the typical behavior of a normal younger cat.

I also wonder about you consulting with an internal medicine vet - one who is part of a specialty group that has other specialists on staff, such a neurology and endocrinology. Having a clean bill of health does not preclude other medical issues from existing - ones not so easily recognized by 'regular' vets. For example, there are metabolic disorders that could attribute to his behavior that would not show up in standard blood work. Any and all previous tests done on him by your current vet can be shared with an IM vet to help reduce redundant costs.

 

[bg2000]

The dog is 15 and they are very friendly to each other, though they don't play. The cat in the house previous is 8. They've never have a fight or issue and they play with each other, but the 8 year old cat is kinda lazy and only plays occasionally on spurts.
They all get along great, but it didn't seem my kitten was thriving. Hospitalized twice for not eating and being sick acting. Then I read how kittens do well with other kittens, so 3 months ago I adopted yet another kitten. The new kitten absolutely perked up the kitten with the fear issue. He started eating better (they love eating together), he started playing a lot more with new kitten, and he hasn't been sickly. They are very very close and sleep curled up all the time. So to recap, I have an 8 yr old cat, an 11 month old kitten (the one with the fear issue), and an 8 month old kitten.

 

[FeebysOwner]

Thanks for the additional information! So, have you seen any differences - at all - in your 11mo kitten with the introduction of the 8mo? Does he act any better around you when in the presence of the 8mo? Will he interact better in the 8mo's presence?

If there is not an underlying issue going on, it still could take months for the younger one to have a positive impact on the skittish one. Make sure he sees positive interactions between you and the younger kitten.

 

[bg2000]

When the 8-month-old kitten came, he started playing a lot more (with her) and started eating better. She didn't impact his fearfulness. The older cat didn't effect him either. The 8 month old and the 8 year old are not skittish or fearful of people.

 

[bg2000]

Also, for medications, he has two appetite stimulants. Elura, which had no effect. Also mirataz ear transdermal gel, which has a very minimal effect.
I don't think they would help his appetite in the event an anti anxiety med would cause an appetite diminishment side effect.

 

[FeebysOwner]

All that being the case, then I can only go back to the suggestion to have him seen by a specialist to check for other issues that are not apparent to you or a regular vet. I still would not rule out trying some sort of anti-anxiety medication, but maybe a specialist would advise of another route along these lines that you would be more comfortable with. Have you thought about CBD oil?

The thing about all of this, as I am sure is your conundrum, is why he behaves relatively normal with other animals but not humans. Is he any different with your GF than he is with you, especially if you are not present? There are cats that react to males that are larger in size or have very low voices - reasons not always known.

 

[bg2000]

Is he any different with your GF than he is with you, especially if you are not present? There are cats that react to males that are larger in size or have very low voices - reasons not always known.

He often follows me from room to room, sometimes sleeps with me, cuddles with me every morning. Which is also kind of odd in that he was afraid of me in the living room when I rushed in the other day, and is still afraid when I go in the living room, but we is purring and affectionate in the kitchen, bathroom, bedroom. He likes my GF, but doesn't seek her out. Kind of neutral. He acts no different whether she's around or not.

 

[FeebysOwner]

That additional information is also helpful. So, it is just a matter of something primarily focused on the living room, which I am going to presume is your primary point of entry to the house. Do you have clothing gear, including shoes, that are ultimately deposited there? Maybe there is something about that entry point, and/or your clothing?

Following you from room to room and sleeping/cuddling with you tells me that your focus on what is going on is with the living room, and probably most likely to do with the entryway.

That doesn't change the eating issues, but if they have improved with the addition of the new kitten, I am not sure he is as overall fearful as you think.

You know the goings on in your home more than I can ever, keep your 'thinking cap' on. The more information you can gather, the better you can narrow down the possible problems.

 

[rubysmama]

bg2000 : Sorry about all you're going through with your kitten. That must be incredibly frustrating and worrying. I can't really think of anything to ask or suggest that FeebysOwner hasn't already mentioned. The only thing that comes to my mind is maybe having him checked out by a cat only veterinary clinic, if there are any in your area.

Other than that, TCS does have these articles, that might be helpful in dealing with the situation, but likely won't explain what's causing his fear.
10 Must-know Tips For Happy Living With A Shy Cat - TheCatSite
16 Top Cat Experts Share Tips For Dealing With Timid Cats - TheCatSite
How To Get A Cat To Come Out Of Hiding? [Answered] - TheCatSite

 

[RTR]

I learned from a knowledgeable lady years ago that cats are not little dogs! They hate change! My dogs were alwsyd adaptable, but if I even move cat trees my cats whine and pace!

 

[cmshap]

I learned from a knowledgeable lady years ago that cats are not little dogs! They hate change! My dogs were alwsyd adaptable, but if I even move cat trees my cats whine and pace!

Even my cat, Willy, who has always been extremely outgoing and people-friendly (even with strangers), reacts negatively to anything I change in my apartment.

I've lived in a one-bedroom apartment for several years, so I've had to rearrange furniture a few times as I've added or changed things. Even if it was a relatively small change, like moving one desk (which he completely ignored before)... he'd pace around the desk in its new spot, sniff it everywhere, then go and hide in his covered bed all day (which is uncharacteristic for him as he is very much a lap cat, normally).

 

[bg2000]

In terms of adding new household items, my kitten doesn't seem bothered by it. He gets curious, sniffs, and then climbs on it.

Has anyone had luck with feliway for fearfulness? My vet said it won't hurt, but also is very unlikely to help.

 

[fionasmom]

Elura is an appetite stimulant which is used for cats with CKD, for the most part. I have had it prescribed for young cats and it did nothing. While this is only my opinion, I find Elura and the companion version for dogs to be completely underwhelming.

If I am following this, it sounds as if the brand new kitten has become what Jackson Galaxy calls a "social bridge cat" who encourages a shy or fearful one to be less so.

Cats make very odd decisions about things which frighten them. As was said, keep observing for minute details that might help.

I have had limited success with Feliway, but others do like it. The only formulation which might have helped in my house was the Optimum.

 

[cmshap]

Has anyone had luck with feliway for fearfulness? My vet said it won't hurt, but also is very unlikely to help.

I had limited success with it for separation anxiety. That was a problem here at one point, when my cat would yowl loudly all day while I was at work. Neighbors complained to my landlord twice during that time.

Feliway seemed to help, because I noticed a fairly quick change after starting it, but then ultimately wasn't enough. I had to adopt other strategies as well, and work on it with him over time.

Edit: Given everything you describe, I would definitely add a pheromone diffuser, just because if I were in your shoes I'd be trying everything. You don't have to commit to buying it regularly for life... you can just try it for a while. This problem sounds like it will need multiple solutions at the same time.

 

[maggie101]

In terms of adding new household items, my kitten doesn't seem bothered by it. He gets curious, sniffs, and then climbs on it.

Has anyone had luck with feliway for fearfulness? My vet said it won't hurt, but also is very unlikely to help.

I bought it few days ago. My cats no longer fight. It doesn't work for all cats but it's worth a try. i have a very skittish cat. She is no longer afraid of me but if I do something that's loud she is afraid. Taller a person is the more scared she will be. So that may be why he gets scared if you where a hat. If I wore heels the loud noise will bother her. New noises for a stray cat but no longer! My cat is afraid of the outdoors,thunder,and other people. Also bought purina proplan calming care. Yummy packets to put in her food

 

[Alldara]

In terms of adding new household items, my kitten doesn't seem bothered by it. He gets curious, sniffs, and then climbs on it.

Has anyone had luck with feliway for fearfulness? My vet said it won't hurt, but also is very unlikely to help.

I had a little luck with Feliway Classic and a lot more luck with Feliway Multicat and no luck with Feliway Optimum.

My skittish boys also don't mind house change. They love to explore it. Magnus oddly enough is fine to greet people outside on a leash and scared when they are in his home.

My suggestion is to have 1 friend who is knowledgeable of cat language come over. You will warn your cat that a friend will come and when. Talk to your cat like a small child and give lots of warning leading up. Don't have the friend knock or ring the bell. Put on some cat calming music and give some catnip before the friend comes. The first time, just have the friend come and chat quietly with you for a couple hours. Don't let there be a lot of movement in the house during this time. You want everything to settle. In your bedroom, have the door closed halfway. Let him hide there if he wants (close off any basements or so on beforehand so he can't hide really far). And put some treats for him.

Do this when you can and slowly put the treats more outside of his safe space. You might even consider having regular video chats with friends that he can hear and tell him him that they are friends. Get him used to your friend's voices so that they sound familiar when friends come over to sit and chat. During video chats you also get to control the volume of your friend's voices and can slowly bring it up to normal level.

Basically, I got my cats used to 1 friend first. Though, then they were scared when she took her mask off and we had to backtrack a bit. They would hide upstairs in my room and as they got curious I would go to the stairs and coax them with a Churu while my partner and friend would keep chatting. Later, once they would come eat a Churu for me in the living room, I'd let my friend give my social cat a Churu. Then, even later my friend could give a Churu. Cal was harder. He would hide in my closet so we made a cozy spot and slowly lured him with treats... though he's food focused.
All the while talking to my cats. Talking about friends. Just simply, "Friend give treat to Magnus?" That kind of thing. Or if the cat was watching friend just being like, "Wow friend pet Nobel."


How is your skittish boy with playing with you? Do you play daily to build his confidence? What else do you and your gf do to build a relationship with him so he's more confident with you both and can look to you for reassurance in spooky situations?

Have you tried doing things like letting him explore the hat on the floor while you sit next to him. Once he's comfortable with the hat you put in on and take it off again. Say, "Look it's me!" (Exchange me for how you refer to yourself to the cat, like your name or mom or dad.)

Keep music on as much as you can to stop sounds from being so harsh to him. Or cats purring on loop. Most streaming services have this. Try to pick things without a lot of high pitch tones.

 

[silent meowlook]

Cats have different personalities just like people do. Some are fearful and some are outgoing and brave. You can maybe tweak the behavior a little, but the base personality is what it is.
You can negatively alter the personality allot easier than you can do so positively. It takes way more good experiences than it does bad to influence a cats behavior.
Unfortunately what you did by taking your cat places to get him used to new situations is that you “flooded” him with to much and now he has associated that fear with you. It’s not your fault, it just didn’t work.
Cats that are fearful can take a long time to come back around to not being afraid.

What I would do if I was you is for now, leave him alone. If you can, make sure he has a place he feels safe and never enter his Safe place, be it under the bed or a box. If he walks into a room you are in, do not tip toe around him. Go about your business as you would with him not there ( within reason) but make sure not to look at him. Try your very best to smile when he runs away if you move and not feel frustrated. Because, I know it is frustrating and stupid, but you have to remember it’s a little cat with a little brain that doesn’t work like ours do.
For now, don’t try to interact with him. Feed and do water and litter as normal, but don’t try to be friends. Not now.
If there is a room he likes the best, if you can keep his food water and litter in there and close the door and have people over.
This is going to be a long process. He will never be an outgoing cat to strangers, but he can become very friendly with household members. But this will take a long time without incident.

I have a cat that is fearful of everything. If I were to move a chair it freaks her out. She is 13 years old now. She will jump on my shoulder and is very vocal and affectionate with me and my boyfriend. If anyone comes over they never see her. It’s who she is.
I also have a 3 year old in your face flops down in front of strangers for belly rubs. I have accidentally kicked him when he has darted in front of my feet when I am walking and he just rolls over a little surprised but still no fear. Of course I feel terrible after. But that’s who he is.

It will take time but your commitment to this cat is obvious and with your dedication this should work to get your cat friendlier with you.

Also, I am assuming everything is ok medical wise.
I personally would not start Prozac yet either.