Kitten HATES Being Touched or Held

[mowsluver]

My 3 kittens are now 11 1/2 weeks old. There are 2 that are white/black like mom and 1 who is grey striped/white. It is SO odd because the 'odd' looking one seems to act so very different from the the others. They all will eat/play/sleep together but on many occassions, the odd one is off on his own. He seems to 'feel' like he is different, if that makes any sense?
And he does NOT like to be touched. Not held, not petted, nothing, and he will still sort of hiss at our dogs when they walk by, or even if they are just laying around! He has not been treated any differently, but us humans OR the other animals in the house. He is just NOT a friendly little guy.....
The problem is, that HE is the one who needs a home. When I took him to a friend who was looking for a new cat (his cat recently passed at age 19!) he just tried to get away, out of my arms...
Has anyone ever dealt with this before? Is it 'normal' for a kitten to act like they have never seen other animals or humans before?

 

[tnr1]

Originally Posted by mowsluver

My 3 kittens are now 11 1/2 weeks old. There are 2 that are white/black like mom and 1 who is grey striped/white. It is SO odd because the 'odd' looking one seems to act so very different from the the others. They all will eat/play/sleep together but on many occassions, the odd one is off on his own. He seems to 'feel' like he is different, if that makes any sense?
And he does NOT like to be touched. Not held, not petted, nothing, and he will still sort of hiss at our dogs when they walk by, or even if they are just laying around! He has not been treated any differently, but us humans OR the other animals in the house. He is just NOT a friendly little guy.....
The problem is, that HE is the one who needs a home. When I took him to a friend who was looking for a new cat (his cat recently passed at age 19!) he just tried to get away, out of my arms...
Has anyone ever dealt with this before? Is it 'normal' for a kitten to act like they have never seen other animals or humans before?

We have a kitten like that in our rescue right now....hisses at everyone....resists being held. He has the BEST foster who has done everything right...he's just a rebellous boy.

Even though we like to think that a lot of a kitten's personality is influenced by the way it was raised....kittens do develop different personalities (just like humans). There are some kittens that just prefer to be off chasing things rather than being held. The good news is that there are people who are looking for the independent spirited cats just as there are people who want the lap kitties.

Katie

 

[chaoran22]

poor little guy - even though he doesn't sound very nice i feel bad for him :/ his mom or siblings don't treat him differently? maybe he hissed at his siblings at one point and they don't want to play with him anymore and that just makes it worse? sounds like you might have a hard time adopting him out...is there a reason you need to adopt him out as opposed to one of the others? maybe you can keep him? does he respond at all to toys? if he does maybe you can play with him with toys first and then build up to human/other cat interaction. my kitten loves the dangly toys he can jump up and try to get. good luck!

 

[mowsluver]

Oh, he actually DOES play and interact with his siblings, but alot of the time, he prefers to sleep by himself, etc. More times than not, he will spend time alone. They play with each other and with toys but the other 2 are fine with being held or petted. They will even jump up in our lap or bed, but with this one, he will run if we approach him or try to pick him up. If we are lucky enough to be able to hold him, he ducks his head down when we pet him, as if it is the worst thing in the world!!
He needs a home because he is the last one left (to be chosen), the other 2 have homes already, we are just waiting on getting them spayed/nuetered. We have other animals (cats and dogs) and cannot keep him....

 

[pami]

When I found Easy, she was pregnant and the rest of the cats in my siggy are her baby's. Tino from the time he was born was always different, very timid, loner kitten.

What I did was instead of pick him up and hold him, like I did the rest, since it seemed to freak him out, was I always approached him slowly and stuck my hand out for him to smell. Once he smelled my hand, he relaxed. I did this everytime I approached him. And I taught my family who visited him to do the same thing.

Now 3 years later, he doesnt like to be held at all. But loves to cuddle next to you. Ironically he turned out to be my most confident and fearless cat.

 

[beckiboo]

It is odd how the siblings turn out so different. I had the same thing with Jasmine and her sister...Jazz is still skittish and difficult to pet, and her sister Blue was full of confidence and loved to cuddle!

I have a few suggestions. One is to put some kind of string toy in your hip pocket. Leave the end dangling on the floor. Even a long scrap of fabric or a long shoelace will work. Then as you walk around the house, instead of being that annoying person approaching kitty to pester him, you are that cool person walking away with a toy dragging beside you. Don't really try to engage him in play with it, unless he starts the fun.

Also use a fishing pole or cat dancer type toy to entice him to interact with you from a bit of a distance. Running the cat toy under your legs as you sit on the floor (or behind your back) will bring him close to you. He will learn that being near you is for fun, not just for unwanted petting. I also "pet" the skittish kitties with the end of long toys, so they become less jumpy at touch.

Maybe your home is just too "full" for him. Could he have quiet times alone in a bedroom sometimes? Festie used to love this, she would sneak into a room so she could be alone (pesky Garfield!). She has been shut in bedrooms, and even in closets. As a tiny kitten she would sneak under the door of the kitten room so she could roam the house free while the others were all cuddled with their Mom!

And food is a great motivator for growing kittens. Instead of free feeding, only feed at certain times, and then be sure a human is always nearby. Even give him treats from your hand. This reinforces that kitties like to come towards humans and then good things happen.

He may never become a cuddlebug...but you can probably help him feel a little more friendly towards you! Ask people to see him at your house, where he will feel more comfortable. Let them know he is very independent, rather than a needy kitten who wants to be on your lap all day. (And you are right, that is what most people want!) Focus on his good qualities, like always uses the litterbox, has been around dogs etc.

 

[mowsluver]

Thanks for all the great ideas! He WILL play with me if I have a string/pole, etc and has even actually sniffed at my hand when the other 2 kittens were sleeping on my lap, but I just feel so bad that he flinches when we try to pet him! He acts like he has been abused ( and I KNOW this is not the case!!). He can go and be by himself for awhile if he wants to, and he will go off and sleep alone often, so it is not like he is forced to be with us at all times.
It is so odd that he LOOKS so different and ACTS so different. If I didn't know better, I wouldn't believe they are from the same litter!

 

[kittycorner]

Squeeker is the same way-my husband rescued him from a house fire at only a week old and I bottled raised him-you would think he would love to be handled! HECK NO!!! He is a sweet guy all around now, he is now 6 months old and he hates being picked up, held and seems to shy away from petting. I figured that it was because he also has really bad seizures and maybe it was too over stimulating to be touched, but he has recently started to lay with us at night on the couch while watching tv or I have been taking daily naps since I found out I was pregnant and he takes afternoon naps with me. I would give it time, it just sucks that he needs a home and does not seem too willing to help out to try and find one. Maybe he needs a one person home with no other animals, you might try and see if someone else takes him for a while, a friend maybe, if he will lighten up. I have a friend who fosters kitties and between her and her group they are always shifting kitties untill they find just the right family who is able to get through these tough outer shells. Just a thought, not that I am saying you are doing anything wrong but maybe you are just not a good match.

 

[mowsluver]

My 'Rosie' (and yes he IS a boy!) looks kind of like your Squeeker. He is gray striped w/white face and legs and one white spot between his shoulder blades. I wish I could post some pics but the computer won't 'let me'.

I told my friend that if he took him and it didn't work out, I would take him back, but that will not be a good thing if it happens. I have a 6 year old who knows that he has to go, but is still upset about it and it wouldn't be fair to her (us) OR Rosie to shuffle him around....he really is a handsome kitten but man oh man, his personality sucks!!

 

[callista]

Well, let me tell you how I was as a kid.

I hated being hugged, hated being touched, and had a tantrum when my mom tried to brush my hair. I played by myself, though sometimes I joined my sister; but I preferred solitude. When I went to school, I read books on my own rather than playing with the other kids. I'm still not a very social person; and I still don't enjoy parties or sports games; but I'm a reasonably empathetic human being, and nowhere near the sociopath you might've thought I was, growing up.

Then I was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome (very mild autism; mostly manifests as sensory sensitivity, social difficulty and obsession with one's interests). And suddenly, it all made sense. My brain is wired differently from most people's--I don't even process faces the same way (my brain puts them in the "general object" category); and I think in a logical, black-and-white way that's so very different from the intuitive way other folks seem to think.

Maybe your kitten is like me--an Aspie kitten. Maybe he doesn't mind being alone, or doesn't know how to interact.

Interact on his terms--does he like to play? Dangle a string. Put your hand near and let him investigate it before you touch him. And once you do touch him, find the sort of touch he likes best--some cats hate to be touched lightly; some panic at a firm touch. Try not to startle him. Teach him that interaction with you is a positive thing, something that gets him good feelings.

If all else fails, a treat should do the trick to teach him you're OK!

 

[beckiboo]

What a great post, Callista! Maybe he is just wired a little different...not broken in any way, but just needing more understanding.