Kitten behaviour at night is making me ill

[BubzaLuna]

Hi all, no the title isn't me being overdramatic lol (sadly). My kitten has such bad nighttime behaviours that I am losing so much sleep which is resulting in me getting sick. I went to bed the other night at 11pm and she woke me up at 1:30am. I gave her a fuss and some treats for half hour before attempting to go back to sleep but it didn't work. I tried locking her out but this just results in her crying and trying to bash the door in. I ended up staying up from 1:30am onward and had to go into work at 7:45am. The other nights I've been getting 3/4 hours sleep but this night in particular was really bad because she simply wouldn't let me go back to sleep. I love this kitten to pieces and rehoming her isn't an option due to that fact, but I'm currently suffering from sickness due to how run down I am from lack of sleep and having to work. Ive heard alot of people saying that once cats get neutered it can really calm them down, but I think at this point I'm terrified it isn't going to work so my hopes and expectations are bottom of the barrel low. She's 20 weeks old, gets fed wet food twice a day as well as biscuits, gets plenty of play with myself and the other cat I have. My big cat has even taken to getting angry with her when she starts acting up, especially if it interferes with her sleep but obviously she's a kitten and I know it's all part of it. This is much harder the second time around, my big cat had a few naughty moments as a kitten but absolutely nothing like this.

Outside of getting neutered, do you guys have any advice for me? I also have the feliway plugins to try and help calm her down. She's not a rescue kitten, she was born into a really loving home, so there's no PTSD or anxiety involved. I think I just need something that could potentially help me control it whilst I wait to have her neutered.

Thanks for any advice.

 

[ArtNJ]

You have to ignore the kitten at night. There is no other reliable way. Getting up just reinforces the attention seeking behaviors. If you are unlucky, it could take weeks to modify the kitten's behaviors by ignoring him, but it should work eventually.

Of course, have to make sure it isn't a hunger issue before you settle in for a difficult time of ignoring the kitten at night. If it is a hunger issue there are other solutions.

P.S. I don't think it has anything to do with neutering. Your kitten wants attention and has discovered a way to get it. Its that simple. And no, you can't wait this out. While overall activity level does decrease gradually, much older cats still do this at night. A different kitten wouldn't be a good idea, as this is normal kitten behavior. You really do just have to ignore the kitten and tough it out (assuming it isn't a hunger issue.)

 

[BubzaLuna]

You have to ignore the kitten at night. There is no other reliable way. Getting up just reinforces the attention seeking behaviors. If you are unlucky, it could take weeks to modify the kitten's behaviors by ignoring him, but it should work eventually.

Of course, have to make sure it isn't a hunger issue before you settle in for a difficult time of ignoring the kitten at night. If it is a hunger issue there are other solutions.

P.S. I don't think it has anything to do with neutering. Your kitten wants attention and has discovered a way to get it. Its that simple. And no, you can't wait this out. While overall activity level does decrease gradually, much older cats still do this at night. A different kitten wouldn't be a good idea, as this is normal kitten behavior. You really do just have to ignore the kitten and tough it out (assuming it isn't a hunger issue.)

Thanks for the reply. I'm not sure it is a hunger issue because there is always food laid down for her, 24/7. The meat she gets for her breakfast and dinner, but theres always biscuits in other bowls.

I was told by someone not to ignore the kitten if she starts attacking the door to get in as this could eventually lead to resentment (obviously on her side not mine lol). Is this false? If that is false information then I think I have the solution found straight away. The only reason I've been getting up and letting her back in is because of the fear she'd end up hating me lmao.

 

[BubzaLuna]

Also you mentioned something about "a different kitten" but no where in my post have I mentioned getting a different one? I specifically stated that rehoming my kitten is completely out of the question because of how much I love her. I did talk about my previous experience with my other cat and how their behaviour was different. Sorry if this has come across abrupt or anything but I really don't want to give people the impression that I'm thinking of getting another kitten instead of the one I have.

 

[RocketPuppy97]

I found it very very helpful to handle it roughly like a cat would do it in the wild.

Hunting (Playtime to get your kitten tired)

Eating (Eating the prey the just caught)

Grooming ( what they normally do after eating)

and finally sleep.

I find it helpful to do this around 1 or 1 1/2 hour before you go to bed.
Its' really important to give your kitten a good playtime before you go to sleep to make her tired and more likley to sleep through the night.

And for everything else, as previously stated, ignoring. I know it's really hard, but it's the only way to get peace.

 

[BubzaLuna]

I found it very very helpful to handle it roughly like a cat would do it in the wild.

Hunting (Playtime to get your kitten tired)

Eating (Eating the prey the just caught)

Grooming ( what they normally do after eating)

and finally sleep.

I find it helpful to do this around 1 or 1 1/2 hour before you go to bed.
Its' really important to give your kitten a good playtime before you go to sleep to make her tired and more likley to sleep through the night.

And for everything else, as previously stated, ignoring. I know it's really hard, but it's the only way to get peace.

Thanks for the reply! Since you are now the second person to say that ignoring is a safe tactic I feel confident I know what I must do. Unfortunately someone else advised me completely against this as it could cause trauma in the cats mind and make them feel unloved. This of course terrified me so as soon as she has started banging at the door or crying I've let her straight back in. If it happens again tonight (which I'm 99.9% sure it will lol) I will keep her in the front lounge with all her toys, a nice bed, litter tray, food and drink.

In regards to your other advice I have been making sure to do all of this. I groom her despite her just attacking the brush lol! She gets entertained hours upon hours everyday because of playtime with my other cat and then by myself when I get home from work.

 

[RocketPuppy97]

Thanks for the reply! Since you are now the second person to say that ignoring is a safe tactic I feel confident I know what I must do. Unfortunately someone else advised me completely against this as it could cause trauma in the cats mind and make them feel unloved. This of course terrified me so as soon as she has started banging at the door or crying I've let her straight back in. If it happens again tonight (which I'm 99.9% sure it will lol) I will keep her in the front lounge with all her toys, a nice bed, litter tray, food and drink.

In regards to your other advice I have been making sure to do all of this. I groom her despite her just attacking the brush lol! She gets entertained hours upon hours everyday because of playtime with my other cat and then by myself when I get home from work.

Don't worry, your kitten won't hate you. If you go through with it she'll sooner or later be like "Meh... this doesn't wokr anymore, how about some sleep?"

From what you said, you seem to take great care of her! So I'm positve that it whill all be fine very soon.

I whish you good luck and patience!

 

[BubzaLuna]

Don't worry, your kitten won't hate you. If you go through with it she'll sooner or later be like "Meh... this doesn't wokr anymore, how about some sleep?"

From what you said, you seem to take great care of her! So I'm positve that it whill all be fine very soon.

I whish you good luck and patience!

Thanks very much! Yeah I absolutely adore my fur babies, they mean everything to me.

 

[ArtNJ]

Honestly, at times I've made my cats sleep in the finished basement. All of them have remained just as fond of me, and one of them was *overly* attached for years until he naturally mellowed a bit with age. So yeah, ignoring the attention seeking behavior won't damage the bond.

I didn't mean to imply you were warm to the trade in idea, was just my way of saying its a pretty normal kitten thing.

P.S. This sort of issue never really goes away. I don't put the lovey dovey one in the basement anymore, because he is mostly good at night. However, if he hears me tossing and turning (which I do a lot) sometimes he starts in with the meowing. I also get up a lot at 3 am to go to the bathroom, and he comes running. I'm currently having a hard time taking my own advice; with my nighttime issues and him still being so bonded, I'm not sure he is ever going to stop and it just feels easier to give him some food or let him out.

 

[She's a witch]

When one of my kitten was keeping me from sleeping at night, I made sure he had as little sleep during a day as possible, so for around 2 weeks I would wake him up (never directly, but I would make some noise with his favorite toy, or I would start the laser - not in his direction of course, but whatever would wake him up and play) and that's what it took to stop him from being active at night. At the minimum he was kept active whole morning and from 6pm till 11pm, sometimes way longer when I had a chance to stay with them during a day.

I'd also say not to react on her when she's waking you up at night (pretend that you're sleeping, actually ear plugs might help), but I would be wary of keeping her out of your room at night. She's still a tiny child, and they need a company to snuggle with at night so much. So if your other cat won't want her at night with him, she might get lonely. Unless of course you'd get another kitten as a company for her (kittens are so much better in pairs and shouldn't be adopted alone), I'd have no such reservations if two kittens are locked away, they'd have each other to comfort (but also, to play with, which may not be perfect at night time).

Also, I'd consider giving her more wet food during a day if that's what keeps her fuller (and often does), especially before the bedtime it's good to feed a kitten a good quality, protein rich but low carbs wet food. You can also get some auto feeder that would accommodate wet food if she's asking for this at night. She might not be a fan of dry food (and consider yourself lucky if she's not).

ETA: I don't know how feliway would suppose to help, she's not stressed nor anxious but simply an active kitten; her energy shouldn't be suppressed, but it simply has to be used and burned off with activity - this is what having a kitten means

 

[jen]

You could also get another kitten so they have each other to play with and be crazy with. She has to be bored if there is no one her age and you are sleeping all night. But yes this is normal kitten behavior. When I've had kittens I put them in another room altogether not just outside my bedroom door. Also play music and get some interactive toys for the room the kitten is in, if there is a window hang a bird feeder right outside for her to watch. I sleep with a box fan on in my room or a white noise machine to drown out any noise the cats make or the meowing. I didn't get a lot of sleep when my cats were young.

Now my 1 cat I have left is 16 and deaf and meows bloody murder at the top of her lungs because she cannot hear herself and wakes me up randomly throughout the night.

But I am used to it.

 

[BubzaLuna]

Thanks everyone for the responses, everyone has different opinions and so I guess it will be a case of trial and error.

I don't want anyone here thinking I am trying to do wrong by the kitten, I realise they are very energetic as they are babies, plus I have had a kitten before and know how wild they can be, especially at night as I know that's when they go into their hunt mode. But I cannot keep living the way I am because it's extremely unhealthy and will end up with me off work and losing money. I will try tonight to simply ignore her and see if she calms down, if she does not I will set the lounge up nice and cosy for her and see how that goes. If I see any changes in her personality or the way she is toward me I will try something else. I've given up my entire social life at the moment to be with the kitten (I've had her now 7 weeks), I've literally just been going to work and coming home to be with the cats, idk how much more I can do to burn out her energy as I am with her half the day, interacting as much as possible. I will also put out the extra meat before bed to see if that helps.

(Btw I didn't buy the feliway originally for her, it was to help introduce my cat to the kitten, but figured having it might in some way have a calming effect on her IF there was something else going on. It wasn't in any way meant to surpress her personality, but I should have eleborated on this. As for getting another kitten I wouldn't be able to, but she plays with my cat on and off through the day until about 11:30pm and then they start again around 5/6am. Sometimes my older cat stays awake until much later to play, so she has good company.)

 

[zed xyzed]

another option, is to get another kitten. They will keep each other company and they will have someone else to entertain them. I heard some once say getting 2 kittens is easier than having one LOL

 

[Coolgram]

I really feel your frustration. I adopted a kitten when she was 6 months old, she had already been spayed. I thought it would be wonderful to let her sleep with me at night - and it was, as long as she was sleeping. The problem was, she would wake me anytime from about 4am on. She just kept walking around me, jumping over me, sitting on my head, sometimes meowing, anything to get me up. I read that you should pretend to be asleep and eventually your cat would just give up. Mine never gave up. As soon as I was conscious, she knew it even if I didn't stir or open my eyes. Luckily I have a spare bedroom that was set up just for her and had everything she could possibly need. After maybe 1/2 hour of waiting to see if she would settle down, I put her in her room and shut the door. End of story, sleep at last. Now she's 1 yr. old and for the most part has settled into a pretty good sleeping pattern, although occasionally I put her out of my room and shut the door but she still has the rest of the house to roam in. Hang in there, hopefully with time things will improve.

 

[BubzaLuna]

I really feel your frustration. I adopted a kitten when she was 6 months old, she had already been spayed. I thought it would be wonderful to let her sleep with me at night - and it was, as long as she was sleeping. The problem was, she would wake me anytime from about 4am on. She just kept walking around me, jumping over me, sitting on my head, sometimes meowing, anything to get me up. I read that you should pretend to be asleep and eventually your cat would just give up. Mine never gave up. As soon as I was conscious, she knew it even if I didn't stir or open my eyes. Luckily I have a spare bedroom that was set up just for her and had everything she could possibly need. After maybe 1/2 hour of waiting to see if she would settle down, I put her in her room and shut the door. End of story, sleep at last. Now she's 1 yr. old and for the most part has settled into a pretty good sleeping pattern, although occasionally I put her out of my room and shut the door but she still has the rest of the house to roam in. Hang in there, hopefully with time things will improve.

Thanks so much! I'm glad to hear your positive story, gives me hope. I know I will get it sorted, atleast to a less drastic degree that it is now, it's just a really difficult time. I was coping with the 3/4 hours sleep a night, it was the getting woken up and staying awake from 1:30am till the next evening, only to get 4 hours sleep that night which has really done me in. I currently have the flu because my immune system is shot to pieces and I'm constantly being told by people that I look like death lmao! No one believes me when I say it's my kitten keeping me up, no one I know has ever had this experience with their kittens.

 

[LTS3]

There's a TCS article that may help: How To Stop My Cat From Waking Me Up At Night (step-by-step Plan)

 

[sivyaleah]

I just want to reassure you that your kitten will not hate you if you have to put her in a separate room at night.

We recently got a kitten that was 15 weeks old, brought her home 9/3. Since we had a resident cat we had no choice but to set her up in a separate space.

Other than the first couple of nights, when I slept in the room with her to be sure she was ok (and that was more for myself, she's my first baby cat) she was kept in the room alone for 3 weeks at night.

We made sure that she got a good amount of heavy playtime before we went to bed, that she had plenty of clean water and a bowl of kibble, lots of (safe) toys available, clean litter box, some soft cozy beds to hide in and also made sure to kitten proof the room as best as possible. At the very beginning we actually had her in a large pen that zipped up so she couldn't roam the room alone at night either but after about a week left it open for her to have more access since she was getting bigger and needed to be able to stretch out more.

She utterly adores us, and especially me. It did no harm to our relationship at all. If anything, she was so thrilled to see us when we'd come to her in the morning that I believe it helped bond her to us even more and, probably made her more independent and able to cope with being left to her own devices for entertainment and comfort. She's now almost 6 months old and incredibly well adjusted. Now that's she's fully integrated into our home, she doesn't bother us at night - at all.

Do what you need to do to keep yourself well. She'll be fine as long as you take precautions and give her everything she needs.

 

[pearl99]

I've been through this several times and each time it happened I have closed my bedroom door and kept the kitten out at night and they never hated me . Your health has to come first, and as in all the comments Kitten has learned that her behavior will get you to feed and play with her so that is being reinforced which means she will keep waking you up and even try harder.
Ignoring will teach her she won't get what she wants and it should extinguish over time and as she gets older.
Got to be tough! It doesn't feel good but it's necessary for the kitty's sake and yours.
I have even had to put a fan in my room so I wouldn't hear the meows and scratches at night. My daughter has a cat that when she slept he would even body slam the door when he was little, after she had to keep him out for playing with her head, jumping on her chest and all. He got over it and adores her.
Hang in there!!