Kitten and older cat bonding advice, please!

[Cst238]

I'm introducing a new kitten to my house were there is already a resident cat.

For the last three weeks, the kitten has been in a room seperated from the cat. They've seen each other through a mesh baby gate. There has been no issues from my older cat during this time. He's gone and sniffed a couple times and sat a watched. We have also fed them from opposite sides of the mesh. We brought the kitten down stairs in a carrier and the older cat just wondered around occasionally looking in. There has been a couple instances of the residents cat poking the kitten (no claws).

Today we let the kitten walk out of the room with the resident cat in the area. The resident cat was free to run off if he wanted. The kitten being the playful thing he is, immediately ran for the resident cat. My older cat just ignored the kitten for a few minutes and just wondered around. The kitten got very playful and my resident cat went to bite him on the neck.

We seperated them for a few minutes and then let the kitten wander again. The kitten went to the resident cat and the resident cat swatted the kitten. We seperated them again.

Is this normal? As in, is this the resident cat just showing dominance, or is it aggression? I did notice when the resident cat swatted the kitten, his pupils were dilated.

The whole process is making me so nervous! I don't want the kitten to get injured and I don't want my resident cat to be distressed. Any advice would be awesome.

 

[ArtNJ]

Sounds excellent. Your senior cat is teaching the kitten to respect his space. If he wanted to injure the kitten, your separation would have been far too slow, the kitten would already be dead or severely injured. That doesn't happen, adults dont do that to kittens. In the heirarchy of best results, first is of course an adult, often young, that plays with the kitten (or more rarely, mothers it). But second is an adult willing to phyiscally put the annoying kitten in its place. These cats do well and end up getting along just fine with the kitten, even if they aren't necessarily friends. Its the adults, often seniors, that get really stressed by a kitten but cant seem to figure out what to do about it that have long lasting and troublesome problems.

You can just let this play out. After all, if this is really about teaching the kitten, then interrupting the lessons will just slow things down. And there is some hope that this is play, which is even better. Either way, your adult just doesn't seem unduly bothered, so this is a very good early result.

 

[NekoM]

Elder cats are usually ok with kittens, and are surprisingly patient, they are not a fan of being jumped on however. Try not to give all the attention to the kitten though, it could lead to attention seeking behavior from the elder cat which is hard to break them out of.

 

[danteshuman]

The swatting or head bop is % normal & necessary! It is how adult cats correct bratty kitten behavior. The neck bite sounds like dominance. I would let your cat bop the kitten like a bobble head .... I would work to prevent the neck biting.

My advice? For the next month or so distract your kitten with vigorous wand toy play when the kitten gets out & only let the kitten out when you are there/awake to supervise. Be sure to give your resident cat extra TLC when the kitten is out. You might also try clicker training for the kitten and adult cat. It is a way to get the kitten to focus on you (instead of the adult cat.) kicker toys are great for playful kittens to.

 

[Cst238]

Thank you all for your reply! You've helped ease a lot of anxiety. I care for them both. The senior cat has been my rock for a few years now who I rescued from a shelter, and I would never want to make his life hard. The kitten, my partner found almost dead at an abandoned site he worked at. We have slowly brought him back to good health with care and plently of vet visits!

After your words if positivity, we did a small get to together to ensure the last interaction was positive. I fed the senior cat his favourite treat, and the kitten got to play. The senior cat focused on the treat, looking up occasionally when the kitten darted. The kitten (mostly, with a little redirection... Lol) focused on the toy.

We will keep doing these interactions. But I'm wondering how will we know if the actions are getting too aggressive? I know the senior cat will have to put the annoying kitten in his place (haha), but how do we know if it's going too far? I don't want to screw up the process.

 

[danteshuman]

If your senior kitty’s tail starts twitching I would redirect the kitten. Often cats prefer kittens when they are less annoying at 5 or 6 months old.

Keep letting your senior cat sleep with you..... cats often view the master bed as their throne or sleeping with you as nice bonding time. So try not to disturb your resident cat’s routine or snuggle times. See if you can get both kitties playing in the same room (opposite sides) with different people. Some daily 1 on 1 play for your resident cat can help them relieve stress.

 

[Cst238]

Ah okay that makes sense, thank you. And the resident cats bed will always be my bed

Question, what does it mean when my resident cats eyes dilate when he focuses on the kitten?

 

[danteshuman]

My first guess is stress or hunting the kitten with his eyes. Either way I vote distracting the kitten away from the resident cat.

 

[NekoM]

I would let your cat bop the kitten like a bobble head .... I would work to prevent the neck

Neck Biting is a tough one to break, my older cat tried it with my younger cat, luckily he thought they were playing and ended up chasing the older cat around all kitten crazy!

 

[Cst238]

Hey everyone!
Just a little update and advice request. We installed a screen door onto a room so the kitten is separate but they can still smell and interact safety.

We feed them together, which is absolutely no issue at all (aside from occasionally having to redirect the kitten back to his bowl, the resident car doesn't care).

The resident cat wants to go into the kittens room all the time. We let him in and he just wonders around, sometime playing with the toys. When there is sun, he'll lay down and relax.

However, the second the kitten comes over, the kitten will pounce on the resident cat. The resident cat will sometimes ignore him, mostly leaves the room, and sometimes will go to bite him.

In summary, as long as I'm redirecting the kitten, the resident just chills in the room watching.

I've attached a video of the resident cat laying in the sun. Here you can see the two cat interacting. Can anyone tell me if this is play or fighting? FYI I'm holding onto the kitten gently (he came up to the resident cat first), this is to stop him jumping on the resident cat.

Video: 11 January 2023

 

[ArtNJ]

Watched, and oh my gosh, they are completely ready to go. Your 100% done, just let them do their thing.

Yes the kitten may annoy the older cat by constantly wanting to play and jumping on the big cat. But the adult doesn't have the slightest stress about the kitten, and is willing to play. If its too much and the adult wumps the kitten a little, thats just the cat way of saying respect my space, not now. Teaching manners its sometimes referred to as. Mostly, once they get going, they will just play, perhaps (much) more roughly than you expect, but its all good.

 

[MeezeIfYouPlz]

We have recently gone through what you are going through. While we don't allow anyone, cat or dog, to aggravate our 16 year old cat, we are letting our 7 y.o. neutered male teach our 5 month old kitten manners. The kitten is learning the older boy's moods and habits and will walk away when the 7 y.o. makes it clear he's not in the mood to be pounced on. Sometimes the messaging involves slaps and hisses but the kitten is not being hurt. The best progress in the last few days has been that the kitten has realized that our 16 y.o. cat will interact with him, so long as he's quiet and respectful. Kitten goes to her when he wants to cuddle or play quietly. I firmly believe that adult cats can teach kittens how to be valued part of their cat society better than I ever could. I just supervise.

 

[Cst238]

Thanks for everyones advice!!! The kitten is now happily running aorund and exploring the house (he goes back into his room when we're not watching). But so far so good

We occasionally have to break up the two if the resident cat bites down for a little too long, otherwise, all its well

Here is a photo of them laying in the sun together that lasted 30 second before the kitten was playful hahaha

We have the entire patio enclosed with special cat netting so the boys get to experience the outside world, without the danger