My cat, Kance, died a week ago. I have never lost anyone I loved and it was the worst thing that has ever happened to me. He was only 8 years old, and he wasn't sick. When I left for work in the morning he was fine, chasing me around the house. When I came home I found him laying on the floor. It was a shock to find him gone. I tried to keep him safe and healthy. It turned out that he had enlarged heart muscles and died of sudden heart failure. He was so beautiful. He was very gentle and timid, which made me very protective over him. I thought I'd have him for another 10 years, but I couldn't protect him. No one in my life understands the pain I have been in for the past week. It's impossible to believe that he no longer exists. Then I have moments when I wonder if he ever really did. But then I find a chunk of his soft white fur in a corner and I come back to the horrid reality.
I took very good care of Kance. I spoiled him rotten. He could not have been loved more. The only consolation I have is that he never suffered a day in his life, and he was always showered with love.
I feel guilty though. The morning before he died he wanted me to pick him up, but I was in a rush to get to work and I shooed him away. I felt guilty the second I closed the door behind me, so I opened it back up to say goodbye to him, but he had left the room already, so I left too. I also feel like I didnt give him enough attention the past couple of days. I will regret it forever. I would give anything to have him back just for a few minutes. Now I know why they say to never take anyone you love for granted, for tomorrow they may be gone. I wish I didnt have to learn that lesson the hard way.
I have never been without a pet. It was the first time I've come home in 8 years that Kance wasnt at the door waiting for me. I keep thinking I hear his meow, or see him out of the corner of my eye. I walk into every room and expect to find him curled up in one of his favorite places.
I got a new kitten yesterday. His name is Artoo. He helps get my mind off of Kance, and he makes me laugh. He's no Kance, but I love him already. I feel like I'm betraying Kance, but I've been living in a pit of sorrow for a week straight and it feels nice to smile. I feel like I'm making a confession. I haven't even told anyone that I've gotten a new cat, because I feel guilty about it.
Anyway, It's nice to get this all off of my chest, even if no one reads it. There's no one I can tell this to in "real life".
I took very good care of Kance. I spoiled him rotten. He could not have been loved more. The only consolation I have is that he never suffered a day in his life, and he was always showered with love.
I feel guilty though. The morning before he died he wanted me to pick him up, but I was in a rush to get to work and I shooed him away. I felt guilty the second I closed the door behind me, so I opened it back up to say goodbye to him, but he had left the room already, so I left too. I also feel like I didnt give him enough attention the past couple of days. I will regret it forever. I would give anything to have him back just for a few minutes. Now I know why they say to never take anyone you love for granted, for tomorrow they may be gone. I wish I didnt have to learn that lesson the hard way.
I have never been without a pet. It was the first time I've come home in 8 years that Kance wasnt at the door waiting for me. I keep thinking I hear his meow, or see him out of the corner of my eye. I walk into every room and expect to find him curled up in one of his favorite places.
I got a new kitten yesterday. His name is Artoo. He helps get my mind off of Kance, and he makes me laugh. He's no Kance, but I love him already. I feel like I'm betraying Kance, but I've been living in a pit of sorrow for a week straight and it feels nice to smile. I feel like I'm making a confession. I haven't even told anyone that I've gotten a new cat, because I feel guilty about it.
Anyway, It's nice to get this all off of my chest, even if no one reads it. There's no one I can tell this to in "real life".