Just refuse to get along…not sure what to do.

[Zanther]

Ok, so almost a year ago I got a kitten for a hopeful companion for my older cat. I started to do the slow intro methods but trouble stated right at the start when she saw me bring him in and later that week he had ran out of his room he was staying in when I went to feed him as the elder cat tends to follow me and needless to say she wasn’t thrilled which was to be expected.

However, the slow intro didn’t go as planned. I put her feeding bowl on the other side of the door and even had them room swap so he could explore the apartment, even staying out on weekends when I went home and took the elder with me (elder is female(fixed) and the kitten male, now fixed) to get his scent mixed in with her’s. Still she wants nothing to do with this other cat. Even having a barrier up so he’d have more room seemed to never help and he always was finding ways to get around the barrier, to the point he couldn’t be contained cause he would keep tearing it down. Sadly since I don’t want him lockedm8n a room all the time I have him out when I work and home til dinner time.

He wants to be friendly but she still hisses and hides from him. I think even now sometimes he tries to pick on her. So she now tends to hide cept the times he’s not out and even now lately it feels like she’s distencing From me as she doesn’t spend much time with me in the evening. I feel at this point it’s very much a territory thing with her and she’s passive enough that she won’t defend and help the now young cat know proper behavior and such. I’m at a loss. I feel the damage is too far done and even moving to a new place will never see the two get along. I’ve tried pharamones at the start peacemaker drops and mood relaxing chews for the past two months and none seem to be having an effect on the behavior of both cats. I hate to rehome the young cat as I’ve grown attached but also looking out for the health (mental at this point as she still eats and is in good healt) but he does his own issues as well… (which will be a future thread here, really need to fix a few bad habits on his end too).

 

[ArtNJ]

This is all normal. Its not what you hoped for, and it can be upsetting in that regard, but its not so bad either and should improve. In general, the older a cat gets the less adaptable they get. Its quite common for an older cat to act this way around a kitten, and quite common for an introduction process to not fix it. So you don't need to beat yourself up about the escapes. Thats not why this is happening. Rather, the kitten is being a kitten, trying to play, not taking no for an answer. That is what most of them are like. Many older cats will not whump the kitten, and instead act fearful and stressed by the unwanted incessant attention. Many times its a fairly long and slow road of improvement to get to toleration or pretty close, but there is improvement. If you feel like you've done what you can with the introduction process, then you need to give them time, understanding that it may take a while, but there should be improvement over time. In particular, the initial improvement should help a lot and can be a bit faster -- it hopefully shouldn't take that long to get to where the older cat is only stressed when being actively bothered. Getting to full toleration can be harder and take longer, but it varies with the cats, and sometimes you get lucky and things can improve fast! Even friendship is not impossible, although don't expect that.

With an older cat and kitten, generally they need to do this; you can't. So give them time.

 

[maggie101]

How old is the young cat.? As long as she has high places to jump the kitten will be ok. Do you have a cat tree? I rescued Peaches 5weeks old, my cat Josie was 12. After a few days of hissing, they would clean each other. Whenever Josie would hiss, I pull out a wand toy

 

[Zanther]

Well…been going on for a year now. Things don’t feel like they’ve improved at all. He’s now a young adult with probably the slightly less energy of a kitten (he is acting more adult like though) but the older cat is now 13 and I hate for her last years to be of fear from another cat.

 

[Zanther]

How old is the young cat.? As long as she has high places to jump the kitten will be ok. Do you have a cat tree? I rescued Peaches 5weeks old, my cat Josie was 12. After a few days of hissing, they would clean each other. Whenever Josie would hiss, I pull out a wand toy

Small cat tree. He’s a year now (4 months when I got him) and she just has a few spots she settles down in (behind couch, in close, though sometimes more open which I think he sees her but only really bothers he if she gets out or if she tries to react to his presense by hissing). Just after almost a year I would figure some improvement would betw them but it’s almost like their first intro. Sometimes there is a delay in her reaction when he goes near but I think that’s more she wasn’t aware (though there have been a limited amount of face sniffing before she hisses).

 

[maggie101]

Josie lived to be 18 with many medical conditions. My 3 cats have totally different personalities and 2 do not get get along. 6,7,8 yrs old. Part of the problem is one of my cats is very territorial and wants to play when the other doesn't. Have you tried clicker training?

 

[ArtNJ]

Sorry to hear that. At one year, generally the older cat would be ok when not actively being bothered, and hissing and leaving the room would be mostly limited to when being bugged. But it varies, and I do think you will see some improvement going forward. I had a pair that had issues like this for years, and finally got to full toleration after several years.

 

[maggie101]

As the 1 yr old ages she will realize that is the seniors territory so she is not allowed! Some take longer than others.

 

[Zanther]

Josie lived to be 18 with many medical conditions. My 3 cats have totally different personalities and 2 do not get get along. 6,7,8 yrs old. Part of the problem is one of my cats is very territorial and wants to play when the other doesn't. Have you tried clicker training?

How would that get them to get along? Would the elder be too old for that?

 

[Zanther]

Sorry to hear that. At one year, generally the older cat would be ok when not actively being bothered, and hissing and leaving the room would be mostly limited to when being bugged. But it varies, and I do think you will see some improvement going forward. I had a pair that had issues like this for years, and finally got to full toleration after several years.

I hope so. Beginning to think I show waited til the elder crossed the rainbow before getting another cat.

 

[Zanther]

As the 1 yr old ages she will realize that is the seniors territory so she is not allowed! Some take longer than others.

Cept it’s an apartmen. Outside of the room the 1y sleeps in at night, the rest is hers. Think if I ever find a new job and move that might help

 

[ArtNJ]

I hope so. Beginning to think I show waited til the elder crossed the rainbow before getting another cat.

I always tell folks that have a senior cat to just be aware that a new kitten would be for you, not your senior, who most likely would vote "no" now and even after months. But almost no one realizes that until they have been there, your in good company.

 

[maggie101]

How would that get them to get along? Would the elder be too old for that?

Maggie comes when called. Clic-Maggie come- give her a treat. There are different things you can train her to do

How to clicker train your cat – Adventure Cats

The best way to train your adventure cat is through clicker training. It's easy to clicker train a cat if you follow this method.

www.adventurecats.org

 

[Zanther]

Maggie comes when called. Clic-Maggie come- give her a treat. There are different things you can train her to do

http://[URL]https://www.adventurecats.org/backcountry-basics/how-to-clicker-train-a-cat/

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I’ll look into one.