Just Got Second British Shorthair - Cats Don't Get Along

[qfise]

Hi,

Me and my wife have a 8-months old British Shorthair male. We thought that he felt lonely as we both have full time jobs so we just adopted 3,5months old British Shorthair female.
He is castrated but she is not. We tried giving them food on the opposite sides of doors, they were hissing at first, now they can eat on the opposite sides of door without hissing but as soon as I move her to the main room, he seems ok at first and then he tries to punch her (our apartment is a bit more than 600 square feet).
We don't know what to do as we need to introduce them to each other as soon as possible since we have full time jobs

 

[Furballsmom]

Hi! Welcome to you!!

Take a look at these;

How To Successfully Introduce Cats: The Ultimate Guide

Are My Cats Fighting Or Playing?

How To Fix An Unsuccessful Cat Introduction

How To Make Your Home Bigger (at Least For Your Cats)

 

[Willowy]

At that age it's kind of normal. He's probably trying to play with her and she's just too young for rough play. But she should be about old enough now to tolerate a little roughness. Try letting them sort it out unless there's an actual attack, or she's clearly trying to get away and he won't let her. He's still young enough to easily accept a newcomer, but is also at an obnoxious teenage stage, lol.

How does she react when he smacks at her?

 

[rubysmama]

Hello and welcome to TCS. Swatting, hissing, growling are all normal forms of communication between cats. It's when it progresses to fur flying, blood, or one cat being visibly stressed/scared, that you need to be concerned.

Is he much bigger than she is? If so, continue to keep them separated when you're at work, or not at home, until you are certain they are getting along.

The TCS articles Furballsmom posted links for should have some more tips for you. Good luck. Post pics of them, when/if you can.
How To Add A Picture To Your Forum Post | TheCatSite

 

[qfise]

Thank you all so much for great input. I was so worried and I really want them to get along because everyone needs companionship!

I believe that he (old cat) wants to play with her (new cat) but then when she hisses at him, he backs off, moves to another room or tries again.
I tried giving them food on the opposite sides of the doors and they both did not have any problem with that (only 1st time). I now tried giving them food with 2 plates next to each other and they did not hiss or anything (they were just focusing on the food).
I do think that she is a bit scared of him because he is male and a bit older so he looks bigger.

I am also sad for leaving her in separate room when she is so sweet and cuddly but I also cannot ignore him and leave him alone since he will think that I am focusing only on her.

Here are them eating together without attacking each other.

 

[rubysmama]

Awwww... precious.

 

[qfise]

Okay, so far he seems very interested in her and his ears are in front so when he pushes her she hisses or moves from him. He also backs off when she does that and gives her more space now. Does this mean that he accepted her on his territory? I really hope they get along, they are currently sleeping in the same room, he is sleeping on the tower and she is sleeping on couch close to me. Is this a good sign?

 

[qfise]

Here are some pictures of them sleeping in the same room, he on the tower and she on sofa

 

[rubysmama]

I really hope they get along, they are currently sleeping in the same room, he is sleeping on the tower and she is sleeping on couch close to me. Is this a good sign?

I think so, yes. And, remember, cat "play" can be rough and look like fighting to an observer. So take a look at the videos in Are My Cats Fighting Or Playing? to get an idea of the body language to watch for.

Has there been any "fighting" yet?

 

[susanm9006]

Hissing and meowing at each other is normal. Backing off when the other cat does it is good manners and a good sign that they can coexist. If they get this far even in their first few weeks they are doing just beautifully.

 

[cuppa]

They're both adorable! I agree with what others have said. Hissing, swatting, and growling are all normal ways they communicate with each other. Ears forward when close and backing off when the other hisses is really good! It sounds like they're both on a quick path to living peacefully with each other.

Play fighting can look kinda scary at first. My cats will meow/yowl pretty loud when playing, but they're having fun. Body language isn't scared or angry. They keep going back to playing with each other and are easily distracted by toys.

 

[qfise]

Do you think that I should let them both sleep in the same room? He is used to sleep with us in the bedroom but now we keep her in the bedroom during a night and my wife or me sleeps with him in the living room. I noticed that when we all tried sleeping on bed last night, he went under it and she was semi-alerted and checking if he is around but would try to sleep anyways.
This morning they were sniffing each other a bit and then I gave them both food to eat next to each other and they did not have any problems.
Then after they ate he tried chasing her, she was on her back with claws out, ears back and I could see whites on her eyes. At that moment he jumped on her (I did not see if he tried to play or to attack her) so I separated them.
Maybe it is too early for this? She has joined us 3 days ago, maybe it is too soon for this? Or I am just being paranoid (my wife thinks that I am and that they will get along).

 

[susanm9006]

A cat on its back is inviting the other cat to play so when he chased and she stopped and rolled over she was saying “come get me”. As they learn to play together and one another’s boundaries there may be some hissing or meowing but no need to separate unless you hear screaming and fur is flying.

They also seem like they are doing perfectly fine sleeping in the same bed. Again, their may be hissing and slap occasionally but they should be fine together.

 

[qfise]

Thank you everyone for a really great advices

I am really getting mixed signals from two of them so far, sometimes they seem like they are getting along and sometimes they look like there will be fur flying! He is definitely interested in playing with her but when they do - maybe he pushes her strongly or jumps on her and she gets really scared.

This is him when I was playing feather with her:



And then he wanted to join and there was some chasing - nothing too scary. She hid herself under the TV shelf and then they were slow blinking at each other for about 20 minutes:


Afterwards he wanted more action and when she went to bedroom, he just followed her and jumped on her & started hitting her while she was hiding behind a pillow. I thought that she might be scared of him so I separated them for some time.

 

[susanm9006]

I think you are at the point where you just need to let them sort it out. From what you have said I think they are both ready for it.

 

[Furballsmom]

Things will get better sorted out when she gets a little bigger, hang in there!

 

[Willowy]

Things are going great! She'll be able to whomp him in a month or so .

 

[Furballsmom]

lol

 

[qfise]

So far old cat is torturing small kitten - he wants to play with her the whole time and she always runs from him, trying to hide. Sometimes she does not manage to escape and then he bites her really hard so she just starts screaming. At that point I always separate them and put them in different rooms.
So far I haven't slept for 5 nights properly - past 2 nights I have tried with all of us sleeping on the bed but growling wakes me up several times per night.
I have added few more hiding spots for her which are actually cardboard boxes with a hole sizes of her head so she can get in and when he peeks in - she can punch him.
I am really afraid that his drive for playing will leave her scarred for life - I don't want her behavior to change as she is so cuddly, sweet and playful but not in insane mode like my old cat.
He is also very sweet and most of the times he really backs up but those times when he doesn't it really drives me nuts.
Also, I noticed one thing in the mornings what he wakes up he comes to her but instead of trying to play, he sniffs her butt or lady parts and starts licking them and sometimes he bites it as well. What does that mean?

 

[Hellenww]

She is the adult in this situation and will teach him manners. Give her a chance. They are still learning each others boundaries and if you interfere too much it will take longer and maybe confuse them.

Also, I noticed one thing in the mornings what he wakes up he comes to her but instead of trying to play, he sniffs her butt or lady parts and starts licking them and sometimes he bites it as well. What does that mean?

Cats that are comfortable and trust each other often groom each other. Since she's letting him this close without complaint she ok with it.