Jealousy

[Loompa]

Hello everyone, first time posting here cause I don’t know what to do anymore.

we have two cats, 3 and 1 years old. We both got them at eight weeks old. When we brought the new kitten to the house, we were very careful introducing them. We did separate rooms, scent swapping and the whole nine yards. It worked brilliantly, they loved each other at once and became inseparable. The older cat took on the role as big brother very seriously, grooming and playing and eating and sleeping together. This went well for many months.

The last couple of months however, the older cat has become jealous. He will growl and swat at the younger one whenever he wants my attention. Especially in the morning. As soon as I open my bedroom door (they don’t sleep with me at night), both run to the door and the older one will growl and chase the younger one away. He doesn’t hurt him, but it The same at night time, when I have them in my bedroo for a cuddle before I go asleep. When I go to the bathroom to put on make up or to do some laundry, the same happens.
At day time they get along, they can walk past each other , eat in close proximity to each other and play chase and wrestle together. Not very often, but a couple of short times a day. They groom each other still, but more seldom. They use the same litter box without problem.(they have two but only use one)
Both cats seem unhappy with this jealousy issue though, the younger one is very cautious in coming near to me when I pet the older one, and the older cat seems kinda depressed too.
I so wish for my cats to get along. My hubby says I overreact, and that everything is fine as long as they can be in the same room and walk past each other 90% of the time. But I feel like this is getting worse, and not better. I try to give them separate attention, but usually the other one comes running when I do, or scratches at the door to be let in.
I tried Feliway in the hallway to avoid those morning problems, didn’t help at all.
I didn’t even know cats could get jealous , so any advice is appreciated .

I forgot to mention that they are both males, both neutered at 16 weeks.

 

[felinelover2]

I think older kitty is just telling younger kitty that he's the boss. In other words some mild territorial aggression (with you being the territory or property in question). Older kitty is just saying me first and it doesn't sound serious if younger kitty is understanding the message and backing down. It's just cats being cats and figuring out their own pecking order.

I have two 4 year old litter mates and the male will get a bit aggressive with my girl at night when we're all on the bed. He tries to chase her off. We upped his play before bed a lot (automatic laser toy that he'll chase for like an hour!) to drain his energy before bed and that helped immensely.

So if you can up their exercise level to help mellow both out but otherwise let them manage their own pecking order - as long as their are no violent fights of course.

 

[FeebysOwner]

Maybe this TCS article might help?
Do Cats Get Jealous? (and What To Do About It When They Do) – TheCatSite Articles

 

[Loompa]

I think older kitty is just telling younger kitty that he's the boss. In other words some mild territorial aggression (with you being the territory or property in question). Older kitty is just saying me first and it doesn't sound serious if younger kitty is understanding the message and backing down. It's just cats being cats and figuring out their own pecking order.

I have two 4 year old litter mates and the male will get a bit aggressive with my girl at night when we're all on the bed. He tries to chase her off. We upped his play before bed a lot (automatic laser toy that he'll chase for like an hour!) to drain his energy before bed and that helped immensely.

So if you can up their exercise level to help mellow both out but otherwise let them manage their own pecking order - as long as their are no violent fights of course.

Thanks so much for your answer! I will definitely try to increase playtime before going to bed! It makes sense, I just never had two cats before, so I’m so nervous about doing it all right.
The younger one definitely gets the message, and he backs off immediately when the older one growls. Luckily, he doesn’t seem afraid of him at all, he just resigns.

the younger one is a special needs kitty (tripod) who is just so calm and sweet, and loves to sleep quietly in my bed all night . The older one gets the zoomies at night and prefers the dog bed, so we don’t let him sleep with us.But because of this quarrels we didn’t want to make it worse by letting the little one sleep with us, so he sleeps in the hallway in front of the bedroom door, which breaks my heart. Do you think the older cat gets more jealous if the little one gets to sleep with us? Here’s a picture of them, sometimes they’re just the cutest pair!

 

[felinelover2]

I would try letting the younger cat sleep in your bed and see how the older cat responds. He may not care and go about zooming and sleeping in the dog bed. Or it might make him more tense. Only way to find out is to try but upping the exercise level should help both, as well as feeding a small meal right after exercise. Then they usually groom and go to sleep

Such cute little fur-babies - lucky to have such a nice mom. I don't think you have much to worry about - they seem to like each other and cats feel more secure when they know their place in the family - so I don't think younger kitty feels sad or older kitty jealous. They just are doing whats natural to them.