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- Jan 3, 2010
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Sorry, but I have to vent. I don't know if it's just the day I've had today or what.
I was talking to a coworker/friend on msn, she's having problems with her fiance. They have been trying to get married for two years now, but every time they have enough money saved up something happens and she has to bail him out financially. They just moved here from about 4 hours away in December, he was supposed to be helping save up to move and didn't, so she had to cover everything. Now they are having to move again soon, just to a different place here in the city (they have HORRIBLE neighbours and management where they live) and she said it's happening again - she's told him that he needs to start saving so that they can move, but he's still not doing it and as a result she's getting behind in her financial commitments because of having to bail him out. He doesn't have a lot of expenses - he doesn't drive, he's supposed to pay half of their rent and half of the bills, as well as his cellphone, but for some reason he just doesn't have it at the end of the month when it comes time to pay for these things. She's understandably getting frustrated with it.
One of mine and Mike's friends was texting me a bit ago asking if we were coming down to a festival that is going on downtown this weekend, she said she was there alone. I asked her where her boyfriend is and she said he was at home feeling sorry for himself - it's basically the same story as above, although both of them are in college/university here so during the school year they have student loans. She has managed to get a job for the summer and is making good money, she even got him a job at the same company (different location though) but she's saying that he's still far behind on rent.
Mike and I are also getting into the same situation. He has been looking for work but he's been out of it for almost a year now. It's getting very frustrating for me because I'm not getting the help at home (cleaning, dishes, etc) and I'm working full time, but he just wants to go out a couple of times a week because he's "stuck at home all the time". When I explain to him that we have no money to go out all the time it ends up turning into a bit of an argument, although we never really fight... I'm sure it will get to that point soon though if I don't start getting more help both around the house and financially. We're going up to visit his parents in just over a week, so I'll have 10 hours in a car to lecture him, lol. I hate our apartment but right now we're basically forced to stay here until he gets work again because we can't afford all of the expenses of moving without getting ourselves into some pretty good debt. Right now we aren't too bad off, we're managing to pay everything and have a little set aside for any emergencies with the animals, but it's not going to be that way long if this keeps up.
Is this a common male thing? Are they really that clueless and bad with money? I haven't had this problem in a relationship before, but then again I haven't really lived with a boyfriend for this long before - my last long term relationship was long distance, so I would only have to live with him for a month at a time, lol.
Sorry for the rant but I needed to vent, I'm extremely frustrated and I will be talking to him about it tomorrow... I want to wait until I'm calmer so that I can be rational, lol.
I was talking to a coworker/friend on msn, she's having problems with her fiance. They have been trying to get married for two years now, but every time they have enough money saved up something happens and she has to bail him out financially. They just moved here from about 4 hours away in December, he was supposed to be helping save up to move and didn't, so she had to cover everything. Now they are having to move again soon, just to a different place here in the city (they have HORRIBLE neighbours and management where they live) and she said it's happening again - she's told him that he needs to start saving so that they can move, but he's still not doing it and as a result she's getting behind in her financial commitments because of having to bail him out. He doesn't have a lot of expenses - he doesn't drive, he's supposed to pay half of their rent and half of the bills, as well as his cellphone, but for some reason he just doesn't have it at the end of the month when it comes time to pay for these things. She's understandably getting frustrated with it.
One of mine and Mike's friends was texting me a bit ago asking if we were coming down to a festival that is going on downtown this weekend, she said she was there alone. I asked her where her boyfriend is and she said he was at home feeling sorry for himself - it's basically the same story as above, although both of them are in college/university here so during the school year they have student loans. She has managed to get a job for the summer and is making good money, she even got him a job at the same company (different location though) but she's saying that he's still far behind on rent.
Mike and I are also getting into the same situation. He has been looking for work but he's been out of it for almost a year now. It's getting very frustrating for me because I'm not getting the help at home (cleaning, dishes, etc) and I'm working full time, but he just wants to go out a couple of times a week because he's "stuck at home all the time". When I explain to him that we have no money to go out all the time it ends up turning into a bit of an argument, although we never really fight... I'm sure it will get to that point soon though if I don't start getting more help both around the house and financially. We're going up to visit his parents in just over a week, so I'll have 10 hours in a car to lecture him, lol. I hate our apartment but right now we're basically forced to stay here until he gets work again because we can't afford all of the expenses of moving without getting ourselves into some pretty good debt. Right now we aren't too bad off, we're managing to pay everything and have a little set aside for any emergencies with the animals, but it's not going to be that way long if this keeps up.
Is this a common male thing? Are they really that clueless and bad with money? I haven't had this problem in a relationship before, but then again I haven't really lived with a boyfriend for this long before - my last long term relationship was long distance, so I would only have to live with him for a month at a time, lol.
Sorry for the rant but I needed to vent, I'm extremely frustrated and I will be talking to him about it tomorrow... I want to wait until I'm calmer so that I can be rational, lol.