Is my older cat being bullied by the new kitten

[nachonrouki]

Hi everyone,

I refer a lot to the Cat Site forums but never signed up before. The reason why I did now is that I am very worried about my eldest, Nacho, being bullied by the new kitten.

We got Nacho last January right after he was neutered. He took to us (my boyfriend and I) right away and from day one was cuddling with me on the couch. He slowly became less of a cuddler but was always affectionate and friendly. He would greet visitors by lying on his back to get a belly rub. He is an indoor cat and we only let him out on the balcony when one of us is present.

We noticed early on that he was very curious about other cats that would come and "visit" him from the other side of the windows. He started miaowing very loudly so that we would let him out to meet these outdoor neighbor cats. We never did though and I thought that maybe he would like a companion.

That's when little Rouki came in, this past November. We followed very carefully the rules of introduction of cats. Nacho is a sweet sweet boy and was curious right away. Rouki however was very agressive (he is not old enough to have him neutered yet) and the first time they saw each other he puffed out his whole body trying to intimidate Nacho. That's when Nacho started hissing at him. This went on for a bit until they seemed to have accepted each other's presence, maybe two days in.

We were relieved to see Nacho trying to clean Rouki even though the little one is always way too excited and only wants to play. On week two they started taking naps together after bathing each other and we took this as a sign that they liked each other.

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• nachonrouki
• Jan 1, 2016

However I noticed that Rouki displays a bit of a bully behaviour towards Nacho: he always eats Nacho's food and not his own, Nacho does not eat when Rouki is nearby. When Nacho is drinking water he'll come and kind of put himself between Nacho and the bowl which makes Nacho leave. When Nacho is playing with somethig he comes and starts playing with it, so Nacho just watches him take over. Same if I try to play with him. He meows uncontrollably if I pick Nacho up to give him some love", this makes Nacho very uncomfortable and he leaves.

Also Nacho has lost some weight which makes me think he is not eating enough, he doesn't ask for belly rubs at the door anymore, he barely comes to greet me at the door, doesn't come when I call him if Rouki is with me (which is always) or if Rouki is not with me and I call the eldest he runs over instead.

I really don't want Nacho to be unhappy and this has been going on for 2-3 weeks now. The whole point of adopting the little one was so that Nacho would have a buddy to play with when we are at work. I love Rouki too but I can't stand having Nacho be like this. Please help me sort this out. Is it possible to have my bubbly Nacho back?

 

[jolie0216]

I made a similar thread a couple months ago about our newest kitten, who likes to bully my older boys:

http://www.thecatsite.com/t/309308/kitten-bullying-resident-cats

The kitten would chase the boys off the bed at bedtime so he could have me & the bed all to himself!  He would also like to randomly ambush them by pouncing on them and biting their necks until it ended with someone screaming and running away.  He would insert himself between them and their food - he always had  to have the first taste of everyone's meal!  He would monopolize play sessions to the point where the others would just give up & watch from the sidelines.....

I know this was just a couple months ago, but the passage of time really seems to have helped.  OJ (the kitten) still engages in these behaviors, but not nearly as often.   When we have play sessions now, everyone joins in equally - I don't know what particularly changed, but now the others don't let him monopolize the toys anymore.  

But don't feel like you have to sit back & do nothing!  If I saw the kitten monopolize food, or ambush a cat who didn't want to play, I would step in and make him stop.  I think the old resident cats really do appreciate it when you step in & help them out.  If OJ was being a real big nuisance, he would get a time-out in the bedroom.  If food is a real issue, you might try feeding them in separate rooms to make sure Nacho gets to eat all his food undisturbed.  Make sure to have play sessions - try to engage both cats at first, but if the kitten is taking over & Nacho is just sitting on the sidelines, take Nacho into a room & close the door so he can have his own playtime with a laser or wand toy - then go back out & play with the kitten until he is all tuckered out.  Trying to expend the kitten's energy down to 0 will help with a lot of these behaviors.   If you're trying to love on Nacho and the kitten is being a pain about it - same deal, take Nacho into a room & close the door so you can lavish attention on him without being harassed by the kitten.  

Other than that, the kitten is really just acting like a kitten, they can be bratty little kids 

  Getting him neutered will help.  Also, as time goes on and he matures & ages, that will help too.   In our house, OJ is still the baby, and he still does harass the others into a wrestling match sometimes - but when I see him doing that, I know he is asking for play.  It's not his "fault" that the cat he is asking doesn't want to provide the requested play - so that's where I come in and give him a laser pointer session or a wand toy, etc.  He still does sometimes "pounce" on a cat who doesn't want to be bothered, and he does still try to push the others away from their food, but it has lessened a lot, and I do make him cut it out when I see him doing that.  

Kittens really are little kids, so it's up to us to teach them the right way to behave - and that includes respecting their elder cats 

I was always boggled as to why my older boys never really stood up for themselves - I've come to accept it is just their sweet dispositions - I'm sure they can recognize OJ is a baby compared to them, so they just sort of sigh and walk away when he takes over their stuff.  That's why it's so important to step in and "save" them when we see this happening....it shows the old cats that we  care about them & whatever it was they were trying to do before the kitten stole it away.....when this was going on at its height in our house, I made sure to give each cat dedicated "alone time" with me where I loved on them & played with them in our room with the door closed.

Nacho & Rouki are so precious - I'm really partial to orange cats - all 4 of ours are orange tabbies!

 

[nachonrouki]

Thank you so much for that jolie0216! I have more hope for the kitties future together now.

I noticed that when Rouki is sleeping Nacho gets to be himself again, so i am hoping that by tiring out the baby Nacho will have a bit more space.

And yes, I think I will have to separate them for meals and playtime for now so that Nacho gets his usual play sessions and can eat enough. Thank you so much!

 

[zed xyzed]

Nacho sounds like a sweet boy. I am glad you are looking out for him. Those little brats can be a handful