Is it true that you just *know* when you meet a cat that's right for you?

[stealthkitty]

I've mentioned in other threads that my husband and I are hoping to adopt a couple of kittens, and we've finally found some that we are considering. There are no cat shelters in my area; but a couple of acquaintances are currently raising litters. Today we went to meet one of these litters, and while they were cute (what cats aren't?) I don't think either of us felt that we really clicked with any of them--but isn't it possible that it doesn't always happen on the first visit?

They are three months old now, seem very healthy, and they appear to have the type of personality that I'm looking for--playful but not mischievous. But I'm also hoping that the cats we adopt will be cuddlers. I know you can't really tell a cat's personality when they are so little, but aren't there usually some indications? Also, how much weight should we give to a one-time meeting? Ideally, we would visit these cats a few times before deciding; but since the owners truly are just acquaintances, that would be a bit of an imposition. (I suspect they just want us to take them off their hands; they don't really care about cats and don't understand wanting to have one as a beloved pet. They are *just* to keep the mice away.

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• stealthkitty
• Feb 4, 2013

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• stealthkitty
• Feb 4, 2013

 

[speakhandsforme]

This is just from my own experience, so it might not apply to all situations.

To me, personalities are hard to tell at that age, especially in a first-time meeting when you're strangers and they might be skittish. Also keep in mind that cat personalities change over time. There was a time when Boots wanted nothing to do with laps, but now you can't get him out of one.

But, if you're looking for a snuggler, I think if you acquire these young kittens and socialize and handle them correctly, they'll like snuggling. :nod:

They should be fine with the litter box. You might have to use a little Kitten Attract litter or potting soil at first, but they'll pick it up quickly.

Kitten proofing is a good idea. :lol3: But! The good news is that two kittens are way less destructive than one would be. They play with each other enough so that they won't get super bored and start tearing up stuff for the fun of it.

If I were you, I would take one girl and one boy.

Good luck! They're super cute. I love classic tabbies

 

[huyi]

just a warning, cover all wires or any loose objects becasue kittens can get to everything, i had hell when my boy was a kitten.

 

[txcatmom]

I didn't really have a magic "this is the one" moment with any of the cats we adopted (three were "teenage" kittens, one an adult.)  The first was probably the least "oh, yeah let's take this one home" type of encounter.  She was extremely scared to be out of her cage when we met her.  Anyways, long story but now she likes to lay on us or right next to us and loves petting when she requests it.  She will never be the type you can just pick up anytime and give a big hug.  But, our two boy cats are open to being scooped up and cuddled just about any time.  That is one of the advantages of multiple cats...one is sure to be in the mood for a snuggle when you need one.  Our main consideration when picking out cats #2, 3 and 4 were how they would mesh with the other cats.  We also looked for them to have pleasant interactions with us, but there was no dramatic bonding that made us choose them.  Never regretted any of the choices at all.  I have a feeling you wouldn't regret these little ones either.

I haven't experienced this personally, but I've read that cats that were living outdoors pick up on the litterbox really quickly.  It is very instinctual.  I'd definitely keep them in a small (preferably not carpet) room with a box or two at first until they are using it reliably.  It is less overwhelming for kittens to start out in a smaller room anyways...with exploring the larger house being a supervised activity at first.  That will help you see if you missed any catproofing.

I'm one of those who researches things to death, so I was expecting EVERY mischievous behavior in the cat care book when we brought them home.  Far from it....never touched toilet paper, never touched a wire, never attacked ankles.  I could go on.  We did cat-proof things and had a plan for redirecting them if they got bitey with our hands (had a kong kickeroo nearby to give them.)  But, there were never any destructive disasters.  (We did leave them in their kitten room overnight and when we went places until we observed them around the house enough to know they'd be okay and not scratch up the couch or anything.)  Oh, and even with multiple cats we find it very valuable to drain some of their energy with interactive play (like dangling a wand toy for them.)  They do play with each other a lot but I find the human playtime still important.

Good luck with the decision.

 

[amby]

Being so young their personalities may change over time... it also depends on their home environment and how they are brought up. I think you should just go see them for a bit and go with your gut feeling. No matter how their personalities end up being, they will be your babies!!! If your like me and love cats, you love your babies no matter what! Litter box training shall be fairly easy, cats have a natural instinct to bury their feces.

If you wish to pick a cat solely on personality, I suggest you pick an adult cat that you are able to spend some time with to get to know him/her better. I volunteered at an animal shelter before, and I got to know a lot of the cats personalities very well. I moved away from the area, but if I had chosen to adopt a cat while I was volunteering or near the shelter, I would have chosen one of them for sure! Just because I knew them so well   I actually was willing to drive 5 hours back to adopt 2 brothers, but before I was ready they had already been adopted. So sad  

Bonus: adopting an older cat is usually less expensive than adopting a free kitten that hasn't been to the vet yet! (provided that the older cat has had it's shots and neutered/spayed)

Good luck with your decision, those kitties are very cute!! It's hard not to take such cuties home!! 

 

[stealthkitty]

Well, we made our decision. I'm a little sorry to say that we won't be taking them. I do kind of feel bad about it. But I suppose it's how someone might feel about not being able to adopt all of the cats in a shelter--in our hearts, we know that they all need a chance, but we can't take all of them home. However, I am confident that their owner will find homes for them, so it's not like we are abandoning them to a death sentence.

Everyone's advice here was wonderful and I appreciate all of it, and I'd like to highlight some points that were especially helpful:

Amby's advice to go with our gut feeling was very helpful. Can't put my finger on the exact reason, but it just didn't feel right to either of us to bring these little ones home. Also, Amby, your words about adopting an older cat are certainly true. If we ever have that option, we will definitely consider it.

Txcatmom, thanks for sharing your experience. I'll remember what you said--I'm glad to know that there doesn't have to be a "magic moment" for things to work out well.

I know it can happen; I just wasn't sure how much emphasis we should put on it happening or not. (We had it happen with a kitten that was living with friends of ours. The kitten just showed up on their doorstep and made himself at home. We met him when we went to visit, and our friends wanted us to take him since they already had as many pets as they could care for. In the short time we were there, that kitten absolutely stole our hearts, but our landlord at the time did not allow pets. It broke my heart to leave him behind, and I still wish we had been able to take him home with us.) Also, your advice about the mischievous behavior was spot on. I read it to my husband and I think he recognized himself in your shoes and was able to see that "cat" does not always equal "destruction".

Speakhandsforme, I appreciate what you wrote about socializing. I might have been putting too much emphasis on worrying about a cat's potential personality. I know that they do have their own individual personalities, but you give me hope that even a cat that tends to be aloof might possibly learn to like an occasional snuggle.

Huyi, I'll be sure to take the precautions you mention, especially the one about the wires. Thanks!

Also, thanks to everyone who said litter training won't be a problem. I'm really glad to know that, because any cats we adopt will likely have been raised outdoors.

 

[willowfire]

hiya when i saw my 1st kitten i knew she was the one now the other 2 that i adopted betty and dan i just love all of them and they show me the love i wanted since my mother died 

no living thing can take her part but they do that thing i just dont know how to explain its as if they stare right into my heart. they just stare at me when im sad and for some reason when i stare back i feel alot better i just love them!!

 

[aharris]

Hi, I just want to say don't wait for that magic moment. I've had several cats over my life, and while some did have that moment, others didn't but wound up being just as dear.

When I was younger, we were to pick two kittens out of a litter of four. There was one brown tabby, and my mom's first comment was that he was the "ugly" one. Naturally, that was why I picked him. Because my mom couldn't stand to let the other three "cuter" kittens go, we wound up with three of the four, but I only picked that kittens because my mom didn't want him. As he grew up, he turned into my special bud, but he certainly showed no signs of that as one kitten out of four.

When my husband and I chose our first two kittens, we chose from two litters that had been orphaned. One of the kittens came rocketing down the drive, screaming at the top of his lungs. As soon as we picked him up, he settled into sleep. Effectively, Gizmo just chose us. Out of the other three, none seemed to even know we existed. Two of them were solid black like Gizmo and one was a black and white tuxedo. My husband finally shrugged and picked the tux so we could tell the two apart, and I pointed out that the tux didn't even want to have anything to do with us because the dead leaves were more interesting so maybe we should consider one of the other two black ones, but my husbad held firm and we took AC home, tool. As AC grew up, he developed into my next extra-special bud, and that was saying something as he was the sort of cat who never met a stranger.

Fritz came along about a year after AC and Gizmo, and he was an adoption of necessity. If we didn't take him in, his owners were going to have him put down. The first time he saw my husband, my husband took him away from his only owners, shoved him in a cardboard box, chucked him into an un-airconditioned car on a 100 degree day and took him to a strange home with two strange cats. For that, my husband was rewarded with a lifetime of doglike devotion from Fritz who never missed a day of greeting my husband as he came from work until the day he had his stroke and we had to take him to be put down.

As we were in our last summer at our apartment complex, there was this slightly skinny mostly grown tortie/torbie who was hanging around on the fringes of the local feral cat population. She never really fit in with them, and my husband talked to her as he was coming and going. One day, she started suddenly breaking her neck to get inside out apartment every time the door opened. This was Missy. She obviously chose us.

Peeps joined our family from a pet store. I was looking at fish for my aquarium and there was a large kennel of kittens from the local shelter. When my husband stopped beside it to look at something, he felt something snagging at his jacket sleeve and turned around to see this little brown tabby reaching out to snag at him. He was immediately fascinated that she had decided to snag him despite his having really ignored the whole cage full of kittens. We talked it over, and Peeps was on her way to coming home. Again, the cat choose the people, and the people at the store were pleased to see her going  because no one had yet paid her any attention as her siblings were all prettier.

 

[sivyaleah]

Casper came to us out of necessity.  One of my best friends was having a rough time personally and he was feeling terrible about leaving Casper home alone nearly all of the time, with neighbors coming to check up on him now and then.  He knew my BF and I were discussing getting a cat but it still took 6 months before he finally broke down and realized the best thing for Casper was to be in a stable home.  When he brought him over with only his litter box, an old blanket and a box of Friskies, I had a mass amount of trepidation. But, he acclimated instantaneously.  I now know this is highly unusual and we got lucky.  From the get go, he trusted us as if we had him since he was a kitten.  He was raised, exceptionally well, that's all I can say.

Cocoa, well we nearly passed her over.  We'd been looking for a second cat after having Casper for a couple of years.  We would go to all the adoption days at pet stores, but none of the kitties "clicked" with us.  We looked on PetFinder, contacted some people but none of those panned out until we got to the place where she was.  We originally were going to get a purebred Ragdoll (some of you may remember that story, I posted it here) but the cat wasn't well socialized so we bid a farewell to that one.  The woman who is most in charge of the agency, and who fosters many of the cats, told us she had this other one at her home, that she really thought would be a good match for us.  I looked her up online and it was one I had looked at, but thought she had a "mean" face, plus, it mentioned she hissed when you first approached her.  Considering that the last cat turned out to actually be not very nice, I was hesitant.  

She promised that this one, was entirely different, and could she bring her over for us to meet?  Well, sure enough, she was right.  Cocoa, was a total love bug, even though she was somewhat hissy at first.  Once you got her in your lap, she melted.  She brought out something in me, that I really hadn't experienced before with a pet.  So, she became ours.  My BF has had some difficulty bonding with her, it's taking him longer but he adores her nonetheless.  She's just a different cat than Casper is completely, having been at the very least semi-feral recently, and we have to keep that in mind.  But she's coming along beautifully.  

So, on both accounts I can't really say we picked either of them.  They were both, picked by others, for us by people who apparently knew us well enough to know we'd make good "parents" for both of our kitties.