Is It Time?

[rin68nyr]

i had brought our 12 year old Winkyand Dobby (sisters) to their annual vet appointment in August, and it was recommended that they have dental surgery. They got the blood tests for it, which were all normal, and had successful surgery. Skip to November, we start to notice that Winky seems to be losing weight. I kept an eye on her, and saw that she would walk away part way through her mela, and Dobby would scoot in and eat hers as well. So we started to feedback them separately. Winky would eat, walk away, and come back a few minutes later for more. That seemed to help, and then I noticed that I could feel the bones in her butt when I pet her. I took her to the vet, who ran another blood test, and found something was up with her liver. Then I took her to the hospital, where they looked at her records, and did an ultrasound...cancer. Inoperable, and chemo not recommended. They gave me an appetite increase medicine, and pain meds. She's been doing okay. Not eating as much as we'd like, and she's become skin and bones, but she's been cuddly, and eating a bit throughout the day. She actually ate really well (comparatively) yesterday. She still came running when it was the regular feeding time for both cats. Today, she has lost all interest in food. She's not seeking us out to cuddle, but she's staying in the room with us. Absolutely no appetite. She had been putting up a fuss when it was time for meds, but not this morning.

How do I know when it's time to let her go?

 

[neely]

I'm so sorry to hear about Winky's recent decline in her health. I thought this Article might be helpful to answer some of your concerns about making a decision:
When Is It Time? - Making The Difficult Decision

Sending special thoughts and hugs to both Winky and you.

 

[munch64]

It sounds to me like Winky is letting you know it's time. But it's up to you, as you know her best. Neely's link has good advice and food for reflection in it. I'm so sorry for you and Winky. I know how devastating it is to care for a cat in a downward spiral and to have to make this decision. You'll be in my thoughts.

 

[stayhomeclub]

I don't have an answer for you but I just want to send you a virtual hug. You'll be in my thoughts. xox

 

[rin68nyr]

Thank you. I think we need to let her go today. She doesn't appear to be in pain, and though she doesn't seek us out, she is appreciating head rubs. The kids have a half day, and will both be home by 11. As long as she still seems comfortable (I will give her her pain meds), we'll let them say their goodbyes, and then I'll take her in. I hate this...

 

[di and bob]

It is better a day early then a day late with something that has no cure. My thoughts and prayers are with you......

 

[m3rma1d]

 

[munch64]

It's awful, but it's part of the package of having these beloved furballs in our families. I'll be thinking of Winky, you and especially your kids today.

 

[neely]

Our hearts are with you. When you are ready if you would like to post a tribute to Winky please feel free to do so here: Crossing the Bridge
We'll be thinking of you and your family.

 

[rin68nyr]

Thank you everyone...such a hard thing to do. I'm glad I did, though. Right when I got to the vet's, she has a spasm where her front legs locked and shook about, and it scared her. I was able to calm her down before we went in, but she was barely moving at that point. She didn't have another spasm, but I can imagine it would have only gotten worse after that.

A question. Her sister doesn't seem to be acting any differently. Dobby seemed to be avoiding Winky those last couple of days. We brought her to Winky before I left with her, and she sniffed at her, but didn't really react. She seems okay today. I'm glad, but is there anything we should be doing with her? She's cuddly, like her sister, and so is getting plenty of attention. I guess cats react differently just like people? Or maybe she hasn't relaized it yet?

I'm a little worried for after everyone goes back to school after break. She's never been in the house alone...her sister was always there...it was why we adopted a bonded pair. They've always hated other cats, so I'm not sure getting another is the answer. Also looking to move this spring or summer, and wouldn't want to get another before then anyway. Thoughts?

 

[FeebysOwner]

I am so sorry about Winky. Dobby was probably reacting that way to Winky because there are changes that Winky was going through and instinctively Dobby could detect them, perhaps even a scent change. But, sadly, odds are that Dobby will likely begin to miss Winky.

It seems to make sense not to get another cat at this point, with the upcoming move - and it will also allow everyone to grieve (including Dobby) for a while. Just make sure you give Dobby extra, extra attention, play time, and keep an eye on her for telltale signs of behavior that would suggest she is grieving.

If it is possible, can someone come home during the day for an hour just so she has a break from the solitude - at least for a few weeks? Also, make sure she is surrounded by lots of her most comforting things/toys while no one is at home.

 

[angels mommy]

I just saw this thread, and wanted to tell you I'm so sorry for what you went through, and for your loss. I too had to let my little girl Sammie go last Friday morning. Her liver as well. She had a large mass on it. It was carcenoma. I only had a month and a few days with her after that diagnosis, so I understand what you are going through.
My heart & prayers are with you.

 

[neely]

They've always hated other cats, so I'm not sure getting another is the answer. Also looking to move this spring or summer, and wouldn't want to get another before then anyway. Thoughts?

I think your above statement answers your question. If Dobby and Winky did not get on well with other cats then bringing a newcomer in the house plus an upcoming move would only stress her out more. I agree that giving Dobby extra attention and lots of TLC would be best for her at this time.

My sincere regrets and heartfelt sympathies on the loss of Winky. RIP sweet angel.

 

[Kflowers]

I'm sorry for your and Dobby's loss, but this is the greatest gift you could give Winky and the most wonderful expression of your love.

Instead of a new cat while Dobby is grieving, and she is, consider getting her one of those stuffed animals with the ticking clock in them people get for orphaned kittens. It would give her something to cuddle with while everyone is gone and have the soothing heartbeat. Cats knead to relieve their best/safest days. Part of those days was lying next to mom and listening to her heartbeat. Science has discovered that lying next to someone, baby to mom, two people, cat to person, will draw their heartbeats into sync. It keeps babies happy.

 

[Beyond Confused]

Thank you everyone...such a hard thing to do. I'm glad I did, though. Right when I got to the vet's, she has a spasm where her front legs locked and shook about, and it scared her. I was able to calm her down before we went in, but she was barely moving at that point. She didn't have another spasm, but I can imagine it would have only gotten worse after that.

A question. Her sister doesn't seem to be acting any differently. Dobby seemed to be avoiding Winky those last couple of days. We brought her to Winky before I left with her, and she sniffed at her, but didn't really react. She seems okay today. I'm glad, but is there anything we should be doing with her? She's cuddly, like her sister, and so is getting plenty of attention. I guess cats react differently just like people? Or maybe she hasn't relaized it yet?

I'm a little worried for after everyone goes back to school after break. She's never been in the house alone...her sister was always there...it was why we adopted a bonded pair. They've always hated other cats, so I'm not sure getting another is the answer. Also looking to move this spring or summer, and wouldn't want to get another before then anyway. Thoughts?

I'm so sorry for your loss, but it sounds like you did the right thing. I went through the same thing almost 4 months ago. I can't even believe it's been that long.
My remaining kitty would walk around the house crying, and he became super needy.

The three things I did that seem to have helped:
-My vet recommended Rescue Remedy so that both of us could get some sleep. It doesn't work for every kitty, I guess, but it sure works on him.
-I spoiled him rotten! He got every ounce of love and attention I had(have). One of his new favorite things is to play hide and seek with his toys. I hide his favorite toys, and he finds them/brings them to me.
-I have a sun room that's perfect for kitties, and so I always called that the "nursery." After Admiral died, I bought 2 huge cat trees and put one in each corner of the room, and he loves them!

-I changed his food right away, but I've also read that you shouldn't change anything for quite a while, since cats need consistency.

-I did keep track of him eating. I didn't measure or anything, since he's always eaten little bits here and there, free feeding...but I would go through and level his food to make sure he had been eating throughout the day. Some kitties, while grieving, will stop eating. It's good to keep track.

 

[rin68nyr]

We can't come home in the middle of the day, but my husband's job has him leaving very early in the morning, while the rest of us leave at 7. For a few weeks, his job will be slow, until the colleges are back in full swing, so he will likely be home around noon for that time. She's still okay right now, eating fine, etc. I think if it's going to affect her, it will be when the house is empty. There's some good suggestions above that I can do for her. Thanks, everyone.

 

[AbbysMom]

Oh behalf of the site team, we are so sorry for your loss. Threads are locked after such a loss as a sign of respect. When you feel up to it, please consider starting a memorial thread in our Crossing the Bridge forum.

Rest in peace, Winky.