Is it normal to get as worried about your cat as you would a family member?

[Serenityinaz12]

My cat Snuffy is my first pet and to be honest I didn’t know it was possible to bond so much with a cat. It’s like we are a pair in this house and do everything together in a way. He’s loved me unconditionally for years even when I’ve accidentally stepped on his tail or made other blunders as a new cat owner. I love him so much and would do anything for him.

But, currently Snuffy is having some pretty serious health issues and I’m even surprised myself at the amount of fear, pain, concern, worry and desperation I’ve felt over the last few days. My heart just breaks at the thought of losing him, which doesn’t seem like that will be the case in this scenario, but even just knowing all the discomfort and pain he is in, the fear he must be feeling staying at the vet, the discomfort and misery it’s going to be for him if I have to give him meds every day long term (which it looks like a good possibility and he hates being given meds). That too breaks my heart. Not knowing for sure what is going on is also absolute torture as the vet hasn’t figured it out yet.

The only people I can think of that I would likely have this serious of a reaction to are both my parents. Seriously. Like I couldn’t even talk to my mom today about what’s been going on without crying over and over and I don’t usually cry about things. Is this normal? Is this wrong to care so much for your cat? To get this worked up about them? I got so many messages growing up that a pet is just a pet, they aren’t something to fret over. Especially a cat compared to a dog (again outside messages I got a lot as a kid). But he isn’t just a pet, he’s Snuffy. He has emotions, gets scared, wants to play, acts silly and loves me like I love him.

Is it normal to be this much of a wreck for your pet cat? Or is something wrong with me?

 

[catloverfromwayback]

That is absolutely normal. They are family members. They’re permanent children; we will always be responsible for their health and wellbeing. They love us unconditionally. I tend to side-eye people who don’t worry about their pets as much as they do other family members, and grieve as much (or more) when they eventually cross the rainbow bridge. I’m very glad you outgrew that heartless “pets don’t matter” culture (which seemed more prevalent in the past where I am, too, but some places still have it). There’s nothing wrong with loving and caring for and worrying about your dear ones - it’s a lot healthier than not doing so, imo. Painful, but healthier. I was worried sick about my younger cat’s health problems this last month, so you have all my sympathy, and I hope Snuffy recovers too.

 

[Cat McCannon]

There’s nothing wrong with you. Yes, we get attached to our cats- we wouldn’t be good guardians if we didn’t. Yes, it hurts us when our cats suffer. Yes, we suffer loss when our pets die, and we learn to push through our sorrow and continue with our lives.

Snuffy is depending on you to make good life choices for him. To do that, you need to have your head and heart clear. For his sake, you have to get a handle on your emotions and be present in the moment. That doesn’t mean you can’t have feelings. It means that you can’t let them cloud your judgement. It means you don’t let your emotions paralyze you.

Relax. Live in the moment and cherish the time you have with Snuffy. If you’re stressed out, Snuffy will pick up on that and his instincts will tell him if you’re stressed, there must be danger to watch out for. If you’re relaxed, he’ll relax, confident everything is ok.

Just focus on being good and kind. Keep yourself clear so you’ll know what’s best for Snuffy and give him a good life so he’ll be a happy cat to the end of his days.

 

[Twylasmom]

It is perfectly normal and I am going through it myself right now. It is an emotional rollercoaster. My advice is to try and live in the moment and don’t project what might happen (easier said than done, I know). We become so emotionally attached to our pets and they provide comfort to us, so it is difficult when that source of comfort and joy also becomes a source of worry and anxiety. One piece of advice I frequently give to others (and need to remind myself right now) is “don’t write the script”. Speculating and obsessing about what might happen is fruitless and exhausting.

If you do have to give meds every day, make it a special time for you and your cat, stay calm and project love. Reward with an extra special treat that is only for that time and stay positive. You can do it!

 

[Caspers Human]

You can look at this question from two points of view.

First, you can consider your cat as "property."
It's your cat. You have the right to have a cat and it's your responsibility to take care of it and keep it in good health.

Second, your cat can be like a family member just the same as your (adopted) child or sibling.
In this case, you would be concerned about your cat just the same as any other member of your family.

Each of these views is equally valid and, in fact, both can be valid at the same time.

In either case, it is absolutely normal to be concerned when your cat is sick or to feel sad or afraid when something bad happens.
There's NOTHING wrong with feeling this way. In fact, IMO, there would be something wrong if you didn't feel this way when your cat needs care.

You mentioned feeling worried about having to give medication to your cat for the long term. Again, you have the right to be worried but consider something... There are lots of humans who have to take medication every day. People with diabetes have to check their blood sugar multiple times per day and they have to take insulin shots to stay healthy. What's the difference between a human taking medicine and giving medicine to your cat?

You have the right to your feelings and you are right to feel concern for your cat.

I applaud your desire to keep an objective mind. Yes, it's true that cats don't live as long as people. It's good to stay "emotionally centered" and keep your feelings in line with objective reality.

It's not good to deny your feelings under the guise of saying, "It's just a cat."

Maybe that is true. Maybe it is "just" a cat. But it's YOUR cat and you have the right to care about your cat in whatever way you feel.

 

[mightyboosh]

I understand how you feel. Snuffy is obviously your soul cat as is Oliver for me.
I worry about things that haven't happened yet so that how much these little creatures can affect us.
If more people loved animals like we do on here, I'm sure it would make for better human relations all round.
Good luck and don't feel awkward or silly for showing your love, we need more of it in the World.

 

[Serenityinaz12]

I appreciate all the responses they have been very helpful to me

 

[neely]

You asked, "Is it normal to get as worried about your cat as you would a family member?" My answer is, Hell yes! I feel sorry for someone who cannot express love and admiration for their cat. You mentioned that he might needs meds after being at the vet and he hates them. Our cat hates them too but I worry what would happen if he didn't get his meds and even though he's not happy about it he is forgiving and knows how much I care about him. I'm sure the same will be true for Snuffy. I worry each and every day from something as simple as whether he finished his food to waiting for his bloodwork results from the vet. It's perfectly normal to feel this way and everyone on TCS understands your feelings. Please keep us posted on how Snuffy is doing when he comes home from his stay at the vet.

 

[Serenityinaz12]

You asked, "Is it normal to get as worried about your cat as you would a family member?" My answer is, Hell yes! I feel sorry for someone who cannot express love and admiration for their cat. You mentioned that he might needs meds after being at the vet and he hates them. Our cat hates them too but I worry what would happen if he didn't get his meds and even though he's not happy about it he is forgiving and knows how much I care about him. I'm sure the same will be true for Snuffy. I worry each and every day from something as simple as whether he finished his food to waiting for his bloodwork results from the vet. It's perfectly normal to feel this way and everyone on TCS understands your feelings. Please keep us posted on how Snuffy is doing when he comes home from his stay at the vet.

he ended up being diagnosed with IBD so has been on Prednisolone and an anti-nausea med. it’s a week later and he’s doing much better, but his appetite has been crazy I guess from the Pred and a bit lethargic but getting better. Luckily giving him his pills has been easy I just stuck it in his wet food and he eats it up so I’m very excited that method works!

 

[neely]

Thanks for the update albeit being diagnosed with IBD. I'm glad giving him the pill in his food worked and he's doing better on the meds. I hope Snuffy continues to show improvement.