Introducing Two Kittens - Need Help!

Calmlybreathe

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Hello!
So I have two kittens, Pepper (8 month old) and Snow (3 months and a half approx). I'm just going to go in a bit of background history for the two before I get to their introduction (if you don't want to hear it, you can skip the italicized part).

I've had Pepper for about 3 months now, and he has very high energy, so I adopted a 2nd cat to deal with it. I got tired having to play with him seemingly 5-10 times a day, 5 minutes to 15-minute sessions. The first Kitten I got from a rescue, Skylar, didn't jell well with Pepper as she'd run asap when she saw him (and I don't really need to tell you how Pepper reacted to a scared kitten), after a two-week introduction process. She was a lap cat, and not very confident in herself, and the polar opposite of Pepper - which I didn't realize mattered too much, and I thought she was energetic, but she ended up being a lap cat who doesn't move around much at all.

She was apparently bullied in her previous foster by another cat, so she had that tendency. I have a foster-to-adopt agreement with the rescue, so they took her back since she was being bullied and hiding a lot after every face-to-face with Pepper. It was the best for her, and she's being adopted with the same agreement (Which lasts two weeks, sometimes a little longer) and she'll likely reach her forever home, it was just unfortunate that Pepper is a male 8 month who seems to be either really aggressive or wants to wrestle and she wasn't interested in it.

I've told the rescue about Pepper's high energy, high confidence, and needed a kitten who would stand up to him, and not run in fear, but chase back and forth and wrestle even. That's where Snow comes in.

Snow was found in a box a few weeks old, and was a bottle baby to someone till a few week ago. He hadn't met another cat in that time till maybe a week or two ago. He ended up chasing the older cats (most of the kittens had been adopted) in the foster (like Pepper did with Skylar) and was very high energy and very confident. He fit the bill, so I adopted him. And when I got him, he had 0 second adjustment period, and as soon as he was in his room he treated it like his territory, if you never knew us and came in, you'd think he's been there for ages, he was as confident as Pepper, but Pepper took 2 months to be the mojito cat he is now.

So I may have rushed the introduction. Snow, who wants everyone's attention, doesn't want to stay in his safe room and wants to roam and play non-stop. So if we're at his door, you can bet he's trying his best to rush out, Pepper does the same if we close him in his room and he hears people outside. On top of that, Pepper tries to rush into Snow's room and plays paws under the door for atleast an hour a day with Snow, usually more.
So what's the problem? Pepper doesn't know how to hiss or growl. I don't want to hear he's never wanted to. He doesn't know how I'm convinced. He's never done it, not even when he attacked Skylar. Once I let her walk out of the safe room, just to see how Pepper would react, during an open door food test, he puffed up intensely and ran at her when she crossed a certain line. He gave her no warning, and she as usual ran away after he pounced. It's very difficult for me to tell whether he's being friendly or hostile to other cats. But he was definitely hostile toward Skylar because he'd bite a lot and she'd hiss, growl, and run to safety.

Whenever I pet the other cat and pet him, and let him smell it, he doesn't care at all, as I said he plays paws under the door. When I do the door test during introduction he has no problem to be right at the door, even when it's cracked open a bit, and no worries even when we use a gate where he can easily smack the other kitten. All tests suggest that he doesn't really care, and isn't hostile towards the other cat. I still take days for each stage (5 days), since I want it to go well. I've been told Snow will hiss, but he hasn't either, I've never heard him hiss or growl. Both cats are VERY vocal with their meows, specifically when you close them in their rooms, so it's not like they're shy about making noise.

So after two days of eating right at the gate in front of each other, they sort of paw each other through the gate, which seems friendly since neither wants to leave the gate and both are pawing at each other through it. I decided in the morning to let them meet. They met, there was a little sizing up, smelling each other. No pawing at all, no puffing, which was unusual to me. Since they had met each other previously by accident and Snow was more aggressive (Since both try to run through the door when we walk in their rooms, and they've both ended up escaping, and the other is usually at the other side of the door also trying to get in, and usually Snow paws Pepper right from the beginning, since Pepper goes uncomfortably right up to the other cats to smell them everywhere- and we separate them immediately). I thought maybe Snow was starting to get slightly more friendly toward Pepper. And Pepper wasn't biting or pawing at Snow, which he did with Skylar. Then Pepper ended up wrestling with Snow, I couldn't tell if it was hostile.

Before the wrestling- cats tails weren't swishing, no growling, no ears folded back, no hissing, eyes were dilated I THINK- was the only warning I could see. I ended up breaking it up because while they were wrestling, Snow had a mouthful of Pepper's face. During the wrestling, both cats ears were folded back, which I read about later meaning it was a fight. I thought if it wasn't folded prior then it wasn't a fight? But there was no screaming, howling, hissing, etc. during the fight. So I'm still not certain if it was a fight. However, Snow was injured. He wasn't moving out of his carrier, and I wasn't letting Pepper near him anymore and was playing a toy with him a few feet away from Snow to keep him distracted till I could understand what just happened. Snow never ever hides, and I thought to just separate them till Snow can recuperate - I did spray them to stop (first time I sprayed him ever), I thought maybe I caused that fear response in him of some sort. I ended up taking him to the vet next day and he was injured in all 4 paws, soft tissue injury, and a sore knee. The wrestling only lasted 5-10 seconds MAX. No scratch or bite marks seen anywhere. So I'm not sure at this point if Pepper caused it (the vet don't think it was him either), or he was injured before we even entered the room. Since he wasn't standing up to Pepper when we all thought he would be the one initiating. He has a large Cat tree in the room, about 6 feet, I believe he's been jumping off it whenever he hears someone at the door since he REALLY wants to get out. So I've now made steps for him, which are a bit more easily identifiable. But I still think that 5 second to 10-second wrestling match they had was hostile, since Snow did have a mouthful of Pepper's face with their ears tucked, and it looked painful to me.(Please let me know if you think otherwise!)

So now I'm keeping them separated, and Snow is slightly back to himself with the meds, back to trying to run out, and meowing at the door, and is playful and affectionate. Pepper and him are back to playing paws under the door for an hour every morning and throughout the day, and when I open the door with a gate only, they don't stop 'wrestling' through the gate. This is a look at what the play looks like through the gate (took this today):
I made the 'shitty' gate, thank you very much. Neither tries to jump over it, Snow tried initially, I just picked him up by the scruff and put him back down, he doesn't do that anymore. Pepper is the tabby, and Snow is the white kitty.

So I was just wondering (after Snow is feeling better), should I completely restart the introduction? Should I let them meet face-to-face? How do I know when to go to the next step, when neither seems to care at all during the introduction? Is them wrestling and pawing through a door, and gate, a good or bad sign? How can I tell if they're fighting or playing, and how do I know if Pepper is going to attack him or vice versa?
 
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Calmlybreathe

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Forgot to mention, not as important, but if anyone feels bad that Snow really wants out of his room. Both cats get free roam of the house but, they take turns. One cat one day, the next the other, and we have a 7 people household, so both cats get visits from everyone throughout the day to keep them company, and it's only till both cats are properly introduced.
 

gchris7

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Wow... your story is so similar to mine. I even made a similar crappy gate. :biggrin:
My experience with cats is not very long so I can't give you the best advice.
Basically it started this July when I found an abandoned 3 week old female kitten outside my house. Lots of feral blood in her... hyper active, super curious, and always bites(gently) when she plays or if you try to pet her.
When she turned 3 months old we decided to get another kitten because she had so much energy in her that it was very difficult to handle.
We got a 2 month old male kitten and like yours, even from the first hour he acted like he owned his new house.
Our female kitten didn't really know how to handle him. They would play-fight very rough, ears folded back, eyes dilated, claws all out, face biting, etc. Our female would also hiss and growl.
Despite all that everyone inclcuding the vet and also peope in the forum were telling us that they are just playing.
We decided to let them stay together in the same room only when we where there and we would split them when it would get out of hand.
A week together and our male kittens health problems started. Limping, showlen head, fever, etc. We are not sure if their fighting caused all this or not though...
More than a month has passed since(and more than 300$ in medichines and exams) and our kitten has now almost fully recovered, but they still play-fight the same way as the first day, super rough...
We still don't let them alone together but that will happen soon, as im now convinced that it's not that they hate each other but it's just how they play.
Don't want to scare you with all this, but just be aware and don't rush things because accidents can happen especially since one of the kittens is so much older.
 
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Calmlybreathe

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That is eerily similar. I don't see how it's play if I see Snow bite on Pepper's face and stretch it out though. Am I missing something? I get they play rough, but if they're injuring each other, shouldn't it mean that it's not play? If that's their future, that'd be rough. :( Thanks for the reply! I'm thinking of putting Pepper on a leash incase, but if Snow approaches him then I think I'd just let them at it, as long as Pepper isn't the aggressor, and they're both going at it.
 

danteshuman

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I would say keep them separate/supervised until the younger kitten is about 6 months old or adult size. Then let them rough play to their hearts content provided no blood is drawn :) It sounds like Snow is a little explorer who injured himself jumping (not playing.) I think they will be great friends. Since Snow is a bottle baby please be sure to teach him to keep his claws tucked in around you. (Toys on a wand might be a good idea.) :lovecat:
 
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Calmlybreathe

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I would say keep them separate/supervised until the younger kitten is about 6 months old or adult size. Then let them rough play to their hearts content provided no blood is drawn :) It sounds like Snow is a little explorer who injured himself jumping (not playing.) I think they will be great friends. Since Snow is a bottle baby please be sure to teach him to keep his claws tucked in around you. (Toys on a wand might be a good idea.) :lovecat:
I don't know if waiting that long is necessary? If you see the video, Pepper is REALLY small for his age. If I wait till 6 months Snow will end up larger than Pepper most likely :lol:
He doesn't scratch anyone, and he's stopped biting as well. So he's not too much to handle outside of the escape attempts. I just bought him a bunch of toys in the room which will hopefully keep him occupied!
 

Artistwolf

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Just wanted to add that I have two kittens who are brothers, and the rough play/fighting you're describing sounds recognizable. My kittens will sometimes go so far as to puff up their tails and pounce on each other, bite each others' faces, and one will often even have his ears flattened and his mouth open as if he's about to really attack. Sometimes one cat will even yelp a little. But they've never hissed or growled at each other, and they've never really got their claws fully extended during this. And even if I stand up to intervene, they'll just pause and look up at me and then continue where they left off. And at the end of the day, they're still grooming and cuddling with each other. So I think there are exceptions to the rule that pinning ears back and biting faces and puffing up mean a real fight. My two are definitely just playing and yet they're doing all that. I'd only be worried at the point when one cat is yelping quite a bit (I always try to separate them if I hear anything, although I've come to the conclusion that my Pepper might just be a bit of a whiner) or hissing/growling. Hope that helped a little!
 
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Elfilou

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In the video they're so happily playing that it would be hard for me to imagine that way they did was really hostile. I mean, have you ever seen a cat fight? You kinda know when you see a cat fight.
 
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Calmlybreathe

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Just wanted to add that I have two kittens who are brothers, and the rough play/fighting you're describing sounds recognizable. My kittens will sometimes go so far as to puff up their tails and pounce on each other, bite each others' faces, and one will often even have his ears flattened and his mouth open as if he's about to really attack. Sometimes one cat will even yelp a little. But they've never hissed or growled at each other, and they've never really got their claws fully extended during this. And even if I stand up to intervene, they'll just pause and look up at me and then continue where they left off. And at the end of the day, they're still grooming and cuddling with each other. So I think there are exceptions to the rule that pinning ears back and biting faces and puffing up mean a real fight. My two are definitely just playing and yet they're doing all that. I'd only be worried at the point when one cat is yelping quite a bit (I always try to separate them if I hear anything, although I've come to the conclusion that my Pepper might just be a bit of a whiner) or hissing/growling. Hope that helped a little!
That really does help! I guess I'll let them 'go at it' for now, untill I hear hissing/screaming? It just seems like relentless fighting but guess that'll pass..
 
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Calmlybreathe

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In the video they're so happily playing that it would be hard for me to imagine that way they did was really hostile. I mean, have you ever seen a cat fight? You kinda know when you see a cat fight.
I've seen play and cat fights, and it looks like a cross of both at times. So that's why I'm asking :lol: But I'll just stop intervening, I feel like I'm making it worse.
 
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Calmlybreathe

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So I let them see each other and it went really really well! It was very rough but they're definitely playing since they both go at each other. It's not just Pepper dominating/chasing like it was with Skylar. I even let them out of the safe room, with my supervision and they constantly chase each other non-stop and wrestle. They're huffing and puffing and take turns on who's top, who's chasing. It went on about for an hour. They sometimes had a truce and Snow went to explore, and Pepper went to Snow's room to see the new toys. I fed them in the same room, thinking maybe they'll start to groom each other but they went back to chasing right after they ate together peacefully. By the end, Pepper seemed upset, fully puffed, ears back and tails swishing, and Snow had his ears back too, curling up himself sitting. I'm guessing Snow took things too far at some point or something. So I ended it there but, I think that it went really well!
 

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I've seen play and cat fights, and it looks like a cross of both at times. So that's why I'm asking :lol: But I'll just stop intervening, I feel like I'm making it worse.
That's true I get that! I guess I more so meant to say to "feel this out", maybe! Sometimes we have to go by feel. Day by day :) sounds like it went good! I hope they calm down a bit and learn how to play nice!
 

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I also have two little brothers. They are only 12 weeks old and they are very small for their age, but man do they love to play. I see a lot of what you describe here - when they wrestle they bite each other’s faces, sometimes their ears are back, sometimes there is minor meowing sounds if one is biting too hard. They’ve taken to jumping onto each other from great heights (for such tiny kittens) recently, and so far everyone seems okay. They are clearly testing them limits of how hard they can play with each other as they get bigger.

Since your kitties were likely separated from their littermates fairly early they will need to learn what is acceptable during play from each other. As long as you supervise them early on and separate when things seem to be getting a little out of hand, I don’t think you are doomed to play-induced injuries forevermore. Sounds like things are already getting better. The video was really cute also! Post more if you can!
 
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