Introducing new kitten to adult cat -- advice?

[mwhyte]

Hi there -- We have a 3 year old Devon Rex (neutered male) who is really the sweetest, most gentle and affectionate creature we've ever known. He doesn't like being alone, so we decided to get him what we hoped would be a friend: A spayed female Devon Rex kitten.

We've followed the instructions on a number of different sites; we've kept her in a seperate room with the door closed, fed them together through the door, and introduced them a couple of times with her in her carrier. The last 3 days we've been letting them interact, careful to feed them together, give them treats together, and introduce play when things got a little intense.

The situation at 3 days is this: The older cat is being extremely gentle with her (no hissing, attacking, growling, anything like that), but he does seem compelled to bite the nape of her neck, like her mother might have to carry her around. We understand this to be him asserting his dominance in the hierarchy of the house (it is his turf, after all).

She hasn't been frightened of him really, and will come up and touch noses, but she's mostly not interested and seems to get quite annoyed after this has gone on for a while. She just runs off, or will occasionally smack at him and growl (not always). He follows her everywhere and tries to give her a bath often, but she seems pretty uninterested. In other words, if she's submitting to her role in the hierarchy, I'm not seeing it!

Is it possible that SHE will become the alpha, or that they'll just never be able to be normal? I have nevr had 2 cats before so I don't really know what normal is. But we really love out older guy and we don't want him to be stressed or upset. Any advice to help this along? Will he ever return to normal so long as she's here? Thanks!

 

[FeebysOwner]

Hi. How old is this new cat? Based on what you are describing, it doesn't sound like she is still a kitten. If she is really still a kitten, perhaps her behavior is tied to fending off other kittens that were in the litter with her before you adopted her? 3 days might be a bit premature in terms of allowing free access between the two cats. She hasn't even had enough time to get used to her surroundings much less another cat. The interaction doesn't sound bad, but she may just need more time to get acclimated to her new home before you can expect them to find their 'pecking' order and become comfortable with one another.

I would continue distracting one of them with a toy after a bit of them interacting just to break up the incessant back-n-forth between the two (him bugging her to the point of her smacking and growling at him). They will figure it out eventually how to work with - or around - each other. It is too early to tell which way it might go in the long run. You might consider letting her have some space of her own that she can run off to and not be followed by him until she has been with you longer. If she knows she can get away from him when she gets annoyed, that will go a long way in making her less likely to continue to smack and growl at him. Maybe let her run and then dote on him to distract him from following her?

I am sure other members will come along and share with you similar experiences and how they handle them - hopefully soon!

 

[mwhyte]

Thanks so much for your reply. She is about four months old, and about half the size of him!

We had her in a "safe room" (doors closed) for about a week before we introduced them. She seemed very comfortable there, and with us (lots of purring and cuddling) so we thought it was time. At the moment we're doing a few hours of letting them be together, and then just as long or longer with her back in her room.

It feels kind of mean to the older guy (and has definitely had an impact on him; not the relaxed and friendly fella he usually is). But as you say, it is early days. I will defintiely try to give him extra attention once the chasing begins; though to be honest he is so focused on her he's not that interested in us!

We'll keep doing limited interaction for at least another week I think and see how it goes. Unless it's better to just open the doors at this point?

 

[mwhyte]

I should also say there was about an hour yesterday when they both crowded into one cat bed and gave each others baths and went to sleep. Then today, they were pretty rough with each other. So who knows?

 

[FeebysOwner]

If you haven't already, let her have time in areas outside her safe room without him there just so she can explore those areas without being 'bothered' by him. He just sounds very curious about her and probably a bit skeptical as to what it may mean overall - but, with him showering attention on her, it doesn't seem like he is too upset by her presence.

Based on them sleeping together and bathing one another, they seem to be in a very good place in the introductions - they just need to work out their own hierarchy as more time passes. As long as he doesn't start to react badly toward her, it should be OK.

 

[mwhyte]

That's a good idea -- the "outside world" for her always has him in it, so we should definitely give her a try on her own. She's obviosuly just trying to figure out various smells and objects in the rest of the house while he's harassing her, so that's a double stress. She doesn't back down though -- she sure let's him when she's had enough!

He's defintiely curious and skeptical, but so far not really aggressive. As I say, he really tries to herd her around (with gentle pats and swats) and will chase her when she doesn't do as he wants. As I mentioned, he has also been trying to pick her up by the nape of her neck. She really doesn't like that though -- that's when things get a little hairy.

 

[She's a witch]

I would totally just leave them be together now, all seems safe and the more they are together, the less focused he will be on her as he’ll learn he has access to her full time. As for “alpha” thing, well, it will be what it will be, you’ll have little say who will be dominant (if any of them), just observe it and let them work things out. Enjoy them both!!

 

[neko2019]

I'm actually facing a similar situation, except that my resident cat is a 6 month old male kitten, and I'm taking care of my friend's 1.5 year old female cat. When my friend's cat came over, the resident kitten looks very friendly and went right up to touch noses and carefully follows the female cat around. Then i guess the female cat must got annoyed and started to hiss and swat the kitten when they go face-to-face too close. I can tell she doesn't intentionally try to harm the kitten, so I don't know if I should just let them be.

 

[FeebysOwner]

N neko2019 , if this is a temporary cat-sitting situation, I would give the visiting cat her own room/space with her own belongings and keep them separated. I am guessing she is not accustomed to your home, and is therefore scared, without her 'mother', and is startled by all that is going on around her. If you will have her for an extended period of time you can try introductions to help with the process.

 

[neko2019]

N neko2019 , if this is a temporary cat-sitting situation, I would give the visiting cat her own room/space with her own belongings and keep them separated. I am guessing she is not accustomed to your home, and is therefore scared, without her 'mother', and is startled by all that is going on around her. If you will have her for an extended period of time you can try introductions to help with the process.

Yes, only for three and half weeks. A bit too short for a properly introduction, but also a bit too long to leave the cat at home (with me checking on her a couple times a day). We tried to lock her up in one room, and she didn't like that! She would zoom out everytime I open the room's door, so they met each other face-to-face like 10 minutes after she arrived lol. Oh well, I guess I will have to put her back to the room until both of them calms down more.

Sorry if I hijacked the thread!

 

[FeebysOwner]

Yes, only for three and half weeks. A bit too short for a properly introduction, but also a bit too long to leave the cat at home (with me checking on her a couple times a day). We tried to lock her up in one room, and she didn't like that! She would zoom out everytime I open the room's door, so they met each other face-to-face like 10 minutes after she arrived lol. Oh well, I guess I will have to put her back to the room until both of them calms down more.

Sorry if I hijacked the thread!

On that note, just have them together when you can supervise. It's long enough not to confine her to one room, but too short to do a 'real' introduction. If they actually get into a fight, you will likely have to keep her in a separate area for the duration. You can try simple things like scent swapping and switching locations between the two, just to see if that might be enough. Feeding them together, or at least giving them treats at the same time might be some other options.

 

[She's a witch]

Is your friends cat otherwise ok, or is she stressed, not eating etc? If she is ok, you could risk having them together for longer if she only hisses&growls&swats, that’s pretty normal communication. Especially if your kitten reacts to her hissing etc and retreats from her. Who knows, maybe they’ll end up liking each other.

 

[mwhyte]

Hi again -- Thanks again for your advice everyone.

I'm just writing in again to offer a bit of an update.

If anything, I would say the adult cat us becoming a bit more aggressive. I don't think he's trying to hurt her, but he is now quite intent on pinning her to the ground and nipping at her neck and haunches.

This causes her quite a bit of distress -- she hisses and cries. Then she gets free and just kind of goes about her business. He is still chasing her around, but now it seems to be with the intention of pushing her down and nipping at her.

I am guessing he is trying to establish dominance, but man, is it ever frustrating! For her, and for us. And I am guessing for him. As we don't really have any experience with this, I'm wondering how long this dance tends to go on for? Are we looking at weeks, months?

I understand from some that a worst case scenario is 2 cats who avoid each other. We'd hate that to be the case as we had hoped she would be a nice companion for him during the day when we are out. But so far, that doesn't look very likely. Thanks again!

 

[ArtNJ]

M mwhyte - Play between a young adult cat and a kitten often looks too rough to first time owners. ESPECIALLY when the kitten squeals. That seems horrible! Your reaction is totally normal for a responsible cat owner!

...and wrong. This is more than likely totally normal play. Don't focus on whether the kitten sometimes squeals and disengages during play. Focus on whether the kitten is generally afraid of the big cat and generally avoids, or comes back shortly after rough play to voluntarily interact with the big cat. If it is the later, that is the kitten telling you everything is ok. And post a video here if you are still unsure.

Think of it this way: how does an 8 year old human play with his 5 year old brother? Too roughly at times! There are head nuggies, wet willies and indian sunburns! 5 year old cries for mom! But he still wants to play with big bro constantly and still gets benefit out of having a big bro. And big bro is not actually doing real damage, its just uncomfortable. That is what is going on with your cats. The difference is that 8 year old humans can be talked too and there is a chance they will listen and modify their behavior. With cats, you have to let them do their thing. It can be hard to watch, but the kitten still gets a ton of benefit from having an interested big bro.

Its not really dominance. Cats, like all predators, play by simulating hunting behaviors. When your kitten is bigger or feeling more confident, the kitten will get a turn being the "aggressor". That can actually be scarier looking, as the defensive cat will rake the other with the back paws, and it just looks wrong when the defender is huge! But thats normal and ok too.

P.S. I have a kitten and 4 year old now and they do all of this stuff. My kitten is totally fearless and basically tries to put the big cat's head in her entire tiny mouth. She drapes her tiny self all over him trying to bite the neck. And sometimes gets the back paw treatment. Sometimes the tables are turned and the big cat holds her down a bit, bites the neck. He isn't super high energy or really very aggressive with his play, and my kitten is fearless, so I don't get a ton of the kitten squealing, but I do get some.

 

[FeebysOwner]

I understand from some that a worst case scenario is 2 cats who avoid each other. We'd hate that to be the case as we had hoped she would be a nice companion for him during the day when we are out. But so far, that doesn't look very likely. Thanks again!

It is way too early to assume what kind of relationship they may end up with. As long as she is eating/drinking/playing/using the litterbox, and not avoiding him, let it play out. You can always try to distract him when you feel there has been enough 'negative interaction'. But, if she starts to avoid him or run from him without interaction, or has any eating/drinking/etc. issues, you are going to have to intervene when he goes after her.

 

[mwhyte]

ArtNJ FeebysOwner -- Thanks so much for your advice. I have to say this morning has been particularly rough! He has pinned her down a couple of times and appears to be biting at her throat. She makes awful sounds and at one point I felt like I had to physically help her escape. As you say, though, she's not cowering or hiding from him -- though she will run from him when he chases, and will occasionally swat at him from underneath a piece of furniture that he's too big to get underneath. But, she will also go get a drink or a snack -- somnetimes from his bow1 -- and he just lets her go about her business and then re-engages when she's done.

He's about twice the size of her so it can be very distressing to watch. It's also so out of character for him, as he's always been such a huge creampuff that just melts into your arms and purrs. He's definitely on high alert these days, though. We're continuing to liming interaction to some degree, and distracting with play. It's only been a few days so hopefully it will all settle out! I will try to post a video at some point today. Thank you again!