Introducing a new kitten

[Abe]

we have been chosen by a feral kitten and he has quickly made his way into our home. We weren’t ready for a kitten (who ever is lol) but I had recently put my 20 year old cat to sleep. I had her since she was about 4 weeks old, she also chose me when I wasn’t ready or looking for a kitten. so needless to say, I was/still am heart broken when the new little guy randomly showed up 2 days later. it’s been about a month and when it got dangerously cold outside we brought him in and gave him his own room. Took about 3-4 days of isolation, then a trip to the vet, before we introduced him to our other 8 year old guy who was immediately curious, very patient, very nosey. The kitten was scared at first and there was a lot of hissing/growling from him. Our older cat would sit on the other side of the gate at a distance. If the door was closed he was pawing under to figure out who was in the bedroom. after 3-4 days of gradual increased interaction, with minimal to no hissing, they have been free together- supervised only. Kitten wants to follow and rub and love on the older one And after a lot of whiny/leave me alone meows from the older guy, the kitten will run up to him and drop to the ground and roll over. The older one doesn’t want the kitten to touch him and acts like he doesn’t want him around but will follow the kitten and if we put the kitten in his room with the gate open (the kitten still hasn’t figured out he can jump over It) then the older cat will jump the gate to get in the room with the kitten. He will get close to the kitten but doesn’t want the kitten to touch him. The kitten wants To play and cuddle. He’s not really an aggressive player but he does get out of hand sometimes, then we separate them To give the older one a break. The kitten does pounce and try to initiate play. while I appreciate they aren’t hissing and growling and swatting eAchother, I feel like the kitten is being a kitten, learns manners pretty quickly, and wants a friend. He gets carried away every now and then so we step in or the older cat will put him in his place. But does it seem our older cat is accepting him? He seems Curious and cautious, hasnt just wrote the kitten off, but only wants the kitten close when he wants the kitten close. I guess I didn’t worry so much when introduced him (at the time a four week old found kitten) to my sweet 20 year old (she was 12 at the time) because he was so young. The new kitten is 5-7 ish months old. I can see how a cat might not perceive a 4 week old as a threat as much as an almost adult, full of energy cat So I’m more worried this intro. Any other suggestions? The kitten is locked in the bedroom at night and if we aren’t home. Hope this makes sense, thank you!

 

[ArtNJ]

It sounds like its going really well to me. My most recent introduction had something similar, I call it the "I'm watching you, don't try anything!" phase. In that case, they were friends within days -- but I let them be together 24/7 once it was clear that the caution/curiosity did not include a desire to fight. It might take longer for you because you are still supervising, or longer just because every cat intro is different. But overall, introducing a kitten to an 8 year old is generally not easy, and I think this sounds like its going better than average with a chance to even get to friendship, or at least some sort of mostly positive relationship, with maybe some lasting grumbling when the kitten won't take no for an answer.

 

[Alldara]

It sounds like it's going really well! Your older guy is curious but nervous. That's normal.

I think you're doing just fine. I kept our kitten locked up at night mostly due to keeping them out trouble. I did like to give my older cat a break as well. Eventually, Magnus started taking himself up to nap and we stopped closing the door.

I think as A ArtNJ says just carry on at the pace you're comfortable with. My only advice is to keep those kitten claws trimmed!

 

[Abe]

thanks! I feel like it’s going ok. I just don’t want to miss anything. one thing my older guy is doing is running to hide in one litter box. It’s covered and he will run to it because it’s close to a door. it almost seems like he’s hoping the kitten wont see him. He did that pre kitten, except it was more like rolling around and being crazy in the litter like he had the zoomies. now It’s sort of like he’s hiding. But again, i immediately remove the kitten or try to redirect him to a toy and once the kitten isn’t focused on him, hes out Of the box following the kitten. one thing the kitten does is pounce on the older guys back- for some reason it bothers me so I react and remove him. im confused if hes trying to mount him or just being an annoying kitten. He’s only done that 2/3 times. Usually it’s a plop and roll over to show his belly to the older guy. Which doesn’t make me feel like the kitten is trying to be dominate in any way. Kitten is getting neutered in a few days. Which brings me to another question... I bought a feliaway plug in to help but ive read reviews about it leaking and being a fire hazard. So I never leave it plugged in very long. Do you think it’s helpful? have you ever had any issues with leaking? I wanted it to help ease the stress but also I am paranoid about spraying so I didn’t want that to be an issue especially until the kitten gets the snip. So far, it has not been an issue. My older guy has never, thankfully. All the questions make me feel like a crazy cat lady who’s never had a kitten, except he’s my third. Appreciate all the advice!

 

[ArtNJ]

There is no such thing as too many questions. We have all made mistakes and learned things long after having a bunch of cats. For example, I was just advising a friend this morning that electric fences are bad for cats because the prongs are more likely to cause pressure ulcers than they are for dogs. I know that because years ago I tried an electric for a seemingly unsolvable behavioral problem and yes, my cat got a pressure ulcer. (I'm not sure the sonic fences are good either, but that is besides the point.)

The kitten may become more of a PITA as its confidence grows. Many of them want to play, play, play and do not respect no for an answer. Its not dominance, its just how they are -- most kittens are born oblivious.

As far as Feliway goes, I cant help you. I am a rigid science guy, and there is no science that it actually works. Some people say it helped a ton, some say it did nothing, exactly as you'd expect from random chance. All of that said, I've never heard of it leaking. Just you know, buy a highly rated product from Amazon.

 

[Alldara]

I've used Feliway for the last 3.5 years. I never leave it plugged in when I'm away or overnight but I haven't had issues with it leaking.
I actually use one RelaxiVet plug (but with the Feliway diffuser) and I do like that one better. I think the Feliway oils build up on the top and then become a hazard. I do clean it periodically and let it dry before use. (Soapy water and a q-tip)
There's always a fire risk with any electrical device, some more than others.

The kitten is probably trying to play. Pouncing is part of it. I'm not a big fan of it either but boys are like that. It does stress Magnus out sometimes so I do distract. You'll have to decide what you're comfortable with. Your 8 yr old might be fine with it later.

 

[Abe]

Thank you! I think it’s all going well, Im being a little protective of my older guy because I’m sure he still misses his friend and the only other cat he’s ever really known. I don’t think I could have asked for a better seemingly more grateful little kitten to show up out of no where. i Can just tell he wants to be loved and accepted and he’s so happy to not be outside. He’s very gentle for a kitten. even when he’s playing hard it’s rarely too hard. He’s missing part of his bottom lip and a chunk of his tongue. I’m not sure if this is an old injury or if that’s how he was born. my guess is he’s has a rough start because he just doesn’t seem like a fighter or a hunter or any part of a scrappy feral kitten. i don’t think I’ll end up needing the feliaway because they are doing so well. But i will keep it just in case. Hes definitely getting more confident and I can see how our Older cAt might look at this like he’s a PITA sometimes lol. The first night he Was inside, he curled up on the edge of the bed and I bet he slept for 20 hours. Now i Can hear him at 2-3 am running circles, chasing toys, making crazy noises, and literally bouncing off walls. Gotta love kittens!! im going to look into building a catio so they can go outside safely. We live in the woods and a few animals would love to get ahold of cats. Does anyone have a catio, have recommendations, or seen any cool catios?

 

[Alldara]

I've heard good things about using chicken coops as the base. Otherwise I don't have much knowledge as I live in a rental.

If you made a separate post about various, there's lots of members who could give ideas regarding safety I'm sure.

 

[Margot Lane]

We love photos.

 

[Abe]

update and insight/advice needed: the older guy is officially a Little bit of a ”whiny baby” which is now his new nickname. I don’t want to undermine his feelings but some of What I’m about to explain feels to me like it’s him being a whiny baby Most of the time. So I want to see what your opinions are. he’s a chubby guy, not morbidly obese but if he doesn’t have to exert too much energy, he’s not gonna. he acts the same way towards one person and when that one person visits he acts the same way every time. I wouldn’t call it growling or hissing, it’s just grumbly. Like a grumpy old man. Sometimes it seems like he’s just grumbling to hear himself grumble and he doesn’t even know why he’s grumbling. He will sit there and grumble for minutes after the kitten even looks his direction. sometimes he runs away from the kitten. Sometimes he meows really loud, sometimes there’s hissing, most of the time it’s a whiny grumbling sound. But if I step in and separate them, the old guy is sitting at the door pawing at the Kitten. or just sitting by the door waiting for me to open it. Then the cycle repeats. Sometimes I can tell he’s actually annoyed and I stop/redirect the kitten when he’s being too wild. the old guy has never actually turned around and knocked the crap out of the kitten. He taps him on the head. I know he’s capable becuse I did see him kind of pin the kitten down once When he was really sick of his crap. Most of the time it sounds way worse than it actually is. If I hear a loud meow/hiss/growl and go to investigate, grumpy might be doing a slow trot down the hall with the kitten slow trotting behind him but not even touching. theres never been a time I was worried some major cat fight was going to break out. It reminds me of a bratty younger brother driving his sibling crazy. things were seeming to go okay at first but now if they are interacting, there’s about a 70/30 chance the Old guy is whining/grumbling/occasionally hissing and growling. then if the kitten is sleeping sometimes the old guy will give the kitten a bath. I’m confused and very tired of hearing it non stop. The kitten isn’t usually being too bad considering he’s a kitten. hes Definitely a chaser and the old guy is a runner so the kitten thinks it’s a game. I’ve got toys galore. I’ve bought several battery operated interactive toys the kitten loves, I have the feliaway and it honestly kind of seemed like things were calmer but just as I’ve read- it leaked. I was always unplugging it worried about a fire and I stopped using it when I felt the oils all over. I have calming treats- grumpy guy won’t touch them. I have natures Miracle calming spray - sorta seems to have a Short term effect. Grumpy guy has a tall spot big enough only he can fit on. i Have a spray bottle. When no one is home, the kitten gets banished to his room So there isn’t any unsupervised interactions. Bedtime is sooo annoying. The kitten goes to his bedroom no problem. He wears himself out and goes to sleep. If I Try to lock the grumpy guy out and let the kitten sleep with me for once, grumpy is beating the door down all night and yelling non stop. Every now and then we make it through a night with both of them out and no major issues. is this my New life? Kitten is really clueless and is just living life happy to have A Family. grumpy old man sort of seems to just want to act like he doesn’t like the kitten but Sometimes gets caught liking the kitten. I don’t want to stress anyone out but I’m stressed. does This sound like it’s never going to get better? How can I help them get past
This point? what am I doing wrong and what should I do better? Sorry so long, just want to paint a clear picture of the situation. I’m sure there are way worse situations out there! I just want them to love eachother! now!

 

[Alldara]

It's sounds like it's going pretty smoothly pretty fast.

how old is your grumpy fellow? Nobel was a grumble-bum with Cal but usually only when his arthritis medication wore off. I would have your older guy have a senior blood panel and discuss with the vet to determine if he has subtle signs of arthritis. Even as a very arthritic old man, Nobel liked to play and wrestle with Magnus.

The other thing I would assess is for jealousy. Do you have someone who you trust who can watch them interact while you step out of the home? Nobel would be very hissy and grumpy with Cal, but only when I was home! My wife said they were besties all day but the moment I would walk in Nobel would start up.

 

[ArtNJ]

5-6 weeks isn't a ton, give it time. In the scheme of things, this counts as a good result for these ages and is encouraging for the future. BUT totally get that just because others have it much worse (and oh boy do they) doesn't mean your situation isn't really annoying!

I can't really think of anything you could be doing differently that would make a real difference. There is actually no scientific evidence that Feliway works. Its the cough syrup of the cat world. The "largest" proper scientific study I found when I looked at this was with like 50 cats, and found no evidence of an effect. Which is meaningless. It could work. Or not. Anecdotal reports go both ways, and just aren't worth much.