In Shock

[missingmycat]

It is true. I would not trade the 7 years of happiness and love I had with Theo even though losing him so suddenly hurts so much now. I just wish I could know with certainty there was nothing I could have done to change the outcome. He was so full of love. If I failed him in any way how could I ever forgive myself. He was over due for his annual exam. What if they would have heard a slight heart murmur or other subtle sign something was wrong? Maybe he would still be here? He was so lively and seemingly healthy, I kept telling myself, "I need to take him in for that check up..." but everything else seemed more pressing...guilt and regret. What if, what if. The vet does not even know for certain it was heart failure...only maybe. His heart looks perfect. Not knowing is so awful. It will be weeks until the final report is in. And it still may not tell me why. My baby....i've cried at least 4 times today. Trying to give my other kitty extra love. But, having another cat does not take away the saddness of losing Theo. My house actually feels cold and empty. All the annoying things he did...like putting his paw in every glass of water you turned your back on for one second, throwing everything off the kitchen island until you gave him his dinner and opening cabinets to get inside and poke holes in the cat food bag to get a treat...wow...what I would not give to drink paw water one more time.

 

[mrblanche]

No news today. I am just getting through the day. For all of you who have lost pets...how long until this knot in my stomach goes away. I keep expecting to see my baby Theo everywhere. I "see" him in all his usual spots, I cry when those places are empty although I know they will be. I have a full life, a have children, a spouse, friends...but someone so special is missing. Is this normal? How did any of you move passed this? I know it had only been a few days, and Theo's passing was sudden and shocking, I expect to mourn. But, it hurts so much...I miss him so deeply. The level of grief surprises me. Any words of wisdom?

It never goes away completely, because you have lost a part of yourself. 

Did your guy go outside, or was he strictly indoors?

 

[otto]

What a beautiful eulogy. Paw water, that's priceless! Theo was such a special boy. And yes, even though your other kitty is there, it does not relieve the pain of your loss. And when you feel guilt, oh it makes it even worse. Please understand I am not saying you have reason to feel guilt. I am not saying that at all. But you feel what you feel, regardless of reason or logic, and it all hurts.

Were your two cats very close? The other cat may be grieving also. I'm glad you have one another.

 

[sharonwitch]

You're not alone. I had planned to get senior blood work at her next vet visit. I keep thinking what if I had taken her sooner? Would the vet have found something? And I will never know what really happened to her - maybe it was her heart; a blood clot; whatever - but we somehow have to move past the guilt of what if's and just know that we loved them & gave them a happy place to live. I dont think my Baby would have tolerated lots of poking & prodding & tests - so maybe this was a blessing for her.
But your cat sounds a lot like mine - she always knocked things off the kitchen table; she hated my reading glasses & would fight a stuffed animal like a little boxer...I think thats why I loved her so much cuz she was a crazy quirky kitty....

 

[missingmycat]

It is all the quirky things I miss the most. Our cats do sound alike. Maybe they are hanging put now swapping stories? And, to answer some other questions posted here, Theo only stayed inside and my other cat actually did not like him much. Although, they mostly fought for my attention. My cat sitters told me they got along well when I was gone. Not best friends but comppanions I suppose. It just sucks as I am sure so many of you know. Even sitting here watching a movie with my son. A week ago, Theo would have been here sitting on my lap, purring being generally loney and sweet. I really can not do anything without feeing his absence. I could not be on my iPad either as he would be lying on it.

 

[missingmycat]

And about the paw water. Everyone knew about it. I had to warn guests about it. He would come running jump up and dunk his paw right in and taste your water. Often, he would help himself until he was finished drinking. He was always into stuff. We used to joke he was using up his 9 lives quickly. It seems so sad now. Like a part of me knew he would not be here very long.