I'm kinda lost right now....

[chris gadbois]

Preamble: Onyx(f) and Jinxy(f) were adopted together from the shelter in 2016 (1-2 yr olds). The shelter lied to me and told me they were sisters. They were complete strangers but quickly bonded though. Onyx, the stoic and dominant one, Jinxy playful but passive.

Onyx died 2 months ago and Jinxy shows signs of loneliness and separation anxiety when I leave for work. Jinxy is 8-9 now, still very playful and I want to get her a new friend. My place is not the biggest so it's almost impossible to keep 'Introduction Worlds' separate.
I think she'd be maternal to a kitten but don't want to throw her world into chaos. I have a kitten tent at my availability. It's big enough to isolate with food water and litter box, but it would either have to go in the Living Room or in the Spare Bedroom where Jinxy's litter box is.

She is not doing well on her own. I have to work daily and we both still miss Onyx (I cry over her loss daily still) . Any insight would be appreciated. Thanks

 

[di and bob]

I'm so sorry.......I do think a kitten is more easily accepted, especially a young one, not over twelve weeks old. I would suggest a male, they are usually more easier going and not as territorial as females. The problem is kittens are SO high strung and they can be very annoying to older cats too. so make sure you have plenty of playthings available and spend some time each day tiring the kitten out. I agree cats can get lonely and bored, a kitten would certainly take care of that, and help you in your own healing too.
The ideal would be to get two male kittens, they would have each other to play with and she would have two boys to boss around, something females LOVE to do. But if you can't swing it, I understand. I've tried to always have 2 males and a female and it has worked out well. Really no more expensive once the initial vaccinations are given. if you bring them all to the vet at the same time, only one office visit charge! Good luck, and keep us informed!

 

[Alldara]

I would be inclined to agree that if you're wanting to do a faster introduction, and you're not inclined to keep them separated via rooms, a crate would be best and two kittens. (In a crate you can make layers for them with hammocks, etc)

You could try borrowing a crate from someone (or checking your local Buy Nothing Group), or buying a used one.

The kittens will have one another to play with and that also gives an older cat a lot to watch without getting involved. Great stimulation for them!

I successfully introduced my geriatric cat to some kittens and will say that it enriched his life. We would go on a walk for 20 min and find him pressed to the door before the kittens. He was very frightened of being alone. That behaviour disappeared long before we finished introductions.

 

[Margot Lane]

Agree w/ the above and keep us posted. Really chiming in here to say what a lovely photograph.

 

[FeebysOwner]

Hi. You can always consider creating a blockade to separate any space into two parts so you can do proper introductions. The blockade I always recommend consists of shelving you can buy from home improvement stores and each piece can be connected with zip ties to make a folding door. The home improvement stores will usually cut the shelving to the 'height' that you want so that the blockade can be as tall as you think you might need in order to avoid either cat from jumping over it. I usually suggest getting shelving pieces that go from the floor to the ceiling to prevent a cat from climbing the shelving and then jumping down from the top. They can be made to the size you need to expand across any room, and are easy to get from one side to the other by simply folding back one of the shelving pieces. Here is an example of one.

 

[Meowmee]

Preamble: Onyx(f) and Jinxy(f) were adopted together from the shelter in 2016 (1-2 yr olds). The shelter lied to me and told me they were sisters. They were complete strangers but quickly bonded though. Onyx, the stoic and dominant one, Jinxy playful but passive.

Onyx died 2 months ago and Jinxy shows signs of loneliness and separation anxiety when I leave for work. Jinxy is 8-9 now, still very playful and I want to get her a new friend. My place is not the biggest so it's almost impossible to keep 'Introduction Worlds' separate.
I think she'd be maternal to a kitten but don't want to throw her world into chaos. I have a kitten tent at my availability. It's big enough to isolate with food water and litter box, but it would either have to go in the Living Room or in the Spare Bedroom where Jinxy's litter box is.

She is not doing well on her own. I have to work daily and we both still miss Onyx (I cry over her loss daily still) . Any insight would be appreciated. Thanks

View attachment 449445

So sorry for your loss of Onyx. It really depends on the personalities. I will not get a kitten with an older cat again. My Quinn was a little monster to Sybil and it caused us all a lot of stress. Perhaps a calmer kitten would’ve been OK, I will never know. But I always regret the stress that he caused Sybil and I had to separate them at the end of her life. He is a pb very dominant siamese. He needed a dominant cat to swat the hell out of him when he misbehaved… but to be honest I don’t know if even that would’ve worked for him.

If you are going through a rescue make sure you meet the kitten and have them pick out kittens that seem very laid-back and docile. Also keep the kitten in its own little territory for at least two weeks so he or she does not think that your home is their territory etc.

 

[Sarthur2]

I beg to differ. I’m just not sure 2 lively, growing and busy kittens would fill the void. They have very different agendas than a middle-aged, grieving adult cat.

I would recommend getting a sweet female tabby cat in the same age range as your cat, and allow time for bonding. I think (from experience) that the kittens would bond together and Onyx may be left out.

I currently have an 8-year-old female who is still grieving and missing her mother, who died a few months back from cancer. They were inseparable.

Before her mother passed, I took in 2 kittens who are bonded and want nothing to do with my grieving cat. My grieving cat also has her 3 brothers in the house, yet she just wants her mother. I’m seriously considering getting her a sweet tabby female close in age who might become her surrogate “mom” and best friend.

It’s very difficult and sad to watch a pet grieve. They really are genuinely affected by the loss of a best friend. I do believe acquiring another cat friend for your Jinxy, one who has a similar personality to Onyx and who is similar in age, might help.

Do let us know what you decide and how it works out.

 

[catloverfromwayback]

I agree with Sarthur2 .

I had two cats, Maddie and Phoebe. They weren’t bonded, (Maddie didn’t even like Phoebe much) but when Maddie died about 2/12 years ago, Phoebe (aged 6) was lonely and crying for her. I adopted Daisy (agrd 3) within a week. We lived in a granny flat, so the only way to separate them was to shut Daisy in a bedroom during the day with her necessities. Phoebe was very curious, and there was a bit of hissing on both sides, but that didn’t last long. We live in an even smaller place now and they get along fine. I don’t think they’re bonded, either, but they sleep on the bed near each other, drape themselves across me when I’m lying down and cavort at night.

 

[Hellenww]

I feel for both of you for losing Onyx. In the fall I was in a similar situation. We lost 16yr Yoshi and 14yr Sqeeker was very bonded and dependant on Yoshi and after 14yrs still very skitish with his humans. Sqeeker was never a good eater and lost weight without a dinner companion. He also held his pee because he was afraid of the crickets in the basement that Yoshi would have killed. The poor thing ws subjected to several vet visits before I figured it out and moved boxes upstairs. As soon s Yoshi got sick I knew we'd have to get kittens. I really prefered kittens to an older cat for me and learned a lot from my time on this site.

First make sure your ready for a new addition. If your not Jinxy will feel it. I played with a friends kittens, looked on petfinder, and visited the rescues at Petsmart. At some point it shifted from "playing with these kittens is fun" to "I want them playing in my house"

I went with 2 littermates. They were 6mt when I adopted them. That's older than usually suggested. My priority was they come from foster care prefeably with adult cats. They were with their Mom and siblings.

Leo is a gentle giant boy (16lb @14mt) who just wants to be near Sqeek. Luna is a wild girl but at 10lb now was closer to Sqeeks 7lb and lets him win any play sessions.

Even though Sqeeker wanted to be in the same room with the kittens immediately there was 4 mt of quiet stress. The kits repected Sqeeks space most of the time and backed right off if he swatted or hissed. He was on high alert and didn't sleep as soundly as normal. A very well groomer gentleman Sqeek looked natty around 2mt but soon after started asking for his morning groomings.

In a few weeks Sqeek began eating more. Instead of nibbling, at his first grazing he eats until Luna stops. Leo killed the cricket. At 7mt everybody is happy. Sqeek let's Leo cuddle up to him and will run and wrestle with Luna a few times a week. Leo has learned if he lays upside down and only gently defends himself Sqeeker will bounce on him.

With my nervous senior 2 kittens that run wild with each other and show him respect has worked very well.

20yrs ago we were down to one active 14yr. Rusty was outgoing and loved humans and cats. Unplanned we got a 6wk kitten who lost her Mom. It only took Rusty 10days to decide Monkey was his baby. He taught her how to cat and they loved each other.

My advise is to trust your heart and you instinct when you meet cats and kittens. Bringing a new cat in (cat or kitten) go over your home and check kitten proofing.

 

[Alldara]

I went with 2 littermates. They were 6mt when I adopted them. That's older than usually suggested. My priority was they come from foster care prefeably with adult cats. They were with their Mom and siblings.

I'm sorry to hear about your loss, but I think this is the most important note: coming from a foster home with older resident cats.

I got both of mine at 5 months each and they were both from a home with older resident cats. I wanted them to be a bit older when I got them. Kittens come with their own sets of issues. I would never remove one before 3 months though.

 

[Hellenww]

I would never remove one before 3 months though.

I agree but sometimes life happens. Monkey, I knew was young when I got her but she needed a home. 18mt later I got Yoshi from a shelter. They had him down as 12wks. Even though he was 4lb, my vet thought he was closer to 6wk because his 8wk teeth weren't in yet.

 

[Alldara]

I agree but sometimes life happens. Monkey, I knew was young when I got her but she needed a home. 18mt later I got Yoshi from a shelter. They had him down as 12wks. Even though he was 4lb, my vet thought he was closer to 6wk because his 8wk teeth weren't in yet.

There's usually some exception to every rule

 

[pearl99]

I'm so sorry for the loss of Onyx and what you two are going through.

I only have to add that if you go with an older cat closer to Jinxy's age that it be one that has lived well with other cats- in a home or if you choose from a shelter that the cat is housed in a colony room with other cats and has done well in there. The shelter I volunteer at has a pavilion room where they put cats that are basically bomb proof while they wait for their forever home.
I think 2 kittens would be better than one, too- due to kitten energy with an older cat.

 

[chris gadbois]

Update:
At my local shelter I knew a few weeks ago they had 4 female kittens from a litter (3 month olds, just spayed). Two were already adopted and I didn't want to split up the pair of tigers so I didn't consider them. I went in on Tuesday and one of the tigers was now alone....someone had adopted her sister. So...I welcomed her (name is Nebula) into our home. As previously discussed I do not have the space to 'isolate and introduce', more like it is 'overlap and introduce'.
For a few days Jinxy had to walk past the kitten kennel on her way to the litter box or kitchen. She hissed anytime Nebula even looked at her. It's unfair to a kitten to leave them in a kennel all the time, so whilst Jinxy is sleeping I would take Nebula out and let her run around for 5-10 minutes. Slowly mixing her smell onto things in the house.

Fast forward to Saturday morning....raining here in New England all day. I decided to set Nebula free to explore the house. All the while monitoring her and Jinxy for encounters. Nebula ran around all day, started using Jinxy's litterbox. Jinxy has never been aggressive with her, I ever watched her turn and walk away from her (which she wouldn't do if she felt threatened). Hissing at her as she does kitten things, but every room Nebula runs to Jinxy follows her to watch her. Nebula snuck up on Jinxy and jumped on her twitchy tail a couple of times, that caused some aggravation. I'll be getting a break away collar with a bell for Nebula today...no more stealth attacks. By Saturday night Jinxy was sleeping in her favorite spot, totally indifferent to Nebula running around like a lunatic.

8pm is bedtime for the baby so Nebula goes back into her crate for the night. She slept thru the night. This morning I let Jinxy have a nice relaxed (half hour) breakfast, before setting Nebula free to rampage. As I type this Jinxy is sleeping in her favorite chair and Nebula is crashed out atop one of the cat towers. For right now I'll put Nebula in the crate for bedtime and while I'm at work. I hoping to see the girls sleeping together within a couple of days and I'll loose the crate within a week or two if this progress continues.

This is Nebula