Maybe it's just the weather or maybe it's because Auntie Flow came to visit this week, but I'm in a blah mood. It just seems like nothing makes me happy and my outlook on myself is bad. Usually I'm fairly confident in myself, but lately (not just this week) I'm much more insecure. I think a lot of it has to do with my new career and how it is blossoming. I'm worried that I won't do a good job or that I won't make it out of training. I'm just worried about the unknown. I know I'm not the only one who does this, but like structure & security of my future plans whether or not it's next week or next year.
Another thing that's got me in a tootie mood is that I'm single. This is the longest time I've ever been with out a boyfriend. Honestly, I'm feeling needy. I have absolutely no social life at all and I'm tired of being alone. How sad is that?
Plus to add another thing that gets me all crazy in the head is that I've got a crush on someone. For God's sake, I'm 26 years old...aren't crushes for teenagers? No offense teens!
But, I just feel foolish to have a crush on someone. It doesn't help matters since he's my boss! Granted my boss is 27 years old and we work 9 hours everyday with each other, so we know each other pretty well and chat about our lifes to each other. He's such a flirt and just absolutely gorgeous. There here comes the insecurity part...there is no way I could catch a man like that. He's got it all...brain, braun, charm, and money (even though money isn't that important to me). This guy gets asked out weekly by all sorts of women, but yet he's single. I got to meet his ex and she makes me sick. She's this little thing (maybe a size 3), perfect body but absolutely no brains. There is no way I could ever compete with her standards. Everyone at work and even my family says they think he's got a "crush" on me, but I just don't know. For one thing, I can't date my boss. It's just wrong to me, but I have no problem dating him after the fact. Actually, he won't be my boss after 2 weeks...but my mind is so confused about all of this. I just feel sick to my stomach thinking about all of this. But I've got to find a solution, some how.
Why can't life just be easy for a change? But challenges no matter how big or small, they are what makes your life normal. Ironic, huh?
Sorry for the venting and rambling, I just needed to get this off my chest. It doesn't feel like I've lifted the weight off yet, but hopefully it will soon. Thanks for listening and thanks for being there when I needed someone to listen. I'm not looking for sympathy or anything, so please don't think I am. Just needed to get this out. Thanks again.
Another thing that's got me in a tootie mood is that I'm single. This is the longest time I've ever been with out a boyfriend. Honestly, I'm feeling needy. I have absolutely no social life at all and I'm tired of being alone. How sad is that?
Plus to add another thing that gets me all crazy in the head is that I've got a crush on someone. For God's sake, I'm 26 years old...aren't crushes for teenagers? No offense teens!
Why can't life just be easy for a change? But challenges no matter how big or small, they are what makes your life normal. Ironic, huh?
Sorry for the venting and rambling, I just needed to get this off my chest. It doesn't feel like I've lifted the weight off yet, but hopefully it will soon. Thanks for listening and thanks for being there when I needed someone to listen. I'm not looking for sympathy or anything, so please don't think I am. Just needed to get this out. Thanks again.