I'm Don't Think I'm Strong Enough

[pookie-poo]

My only sister died 6 weeks ago, and even though the autopsy is still pending, I believe that she most likely took her own life. She had battled severe depression and alcoholism for several years. My mother went with me to San Diego to take care of my sister's estate, but my father was too ill to make the trip. Mom was diagnosed with pneumonia last summer, and it hasn't cleared up, so the doctor sent her for a chest CT. He called me this afternoon. She has a huge mass in her right lung, 6 cm x 6 cm, probably inoperable. It involves the pulmonary artery. Since I work in surgery, I had the thoracic surgeon look at the films. He's sending her for more tests, but he says that the mass looks consistant with lung cancer. Mom is so depressed about my sister that I don't think she'll even try to fight this. My father has cardiac issues and was rushed to the ER when we were in California...fortunately it was anxiety and not another heart attack. If my mom dies, I'm sure my father will die of a broken heart. I think it's entirely possible that I will lose my entire family very soon.
Please let me wake up from this nightmare.

 

[ldg]

Oh sweetie, I've been worrying about you... and now this!

What is going on this year?!?!?! What a horrible time of year to have to deal with issues like this.

Sweetie, my heart is breaking for you. I'm just hoping they're wrong - and that it hasn't metastasized and IS operable. I hope she finds the will to fight.

 

[ruthyb]

I'm really sorry hun for what you are going through, my dh's grandad has lung cancer and there are things that can be done, he chose not to as his wife passed away just before he was diagnosed but the options available to him were amazing and I believe that the UK are slightly behind with cancer treatments.It may not be cancer so try and have some hope please. I know losing your sister has been very difficult for you and I want to offer you hugs and love.xxx

 

[carolina]

Oh hon, I am so sorry you are going through this... It is really too much for anyone to go through....
My deepest sympathies for your sister's loss, huge vibes for you mom and dad, and million hugs to you...

 

[natalie_ca]

OMG! This is terrible news!

The first thing you need to do is stop trying to predict the future. It will only add to your stress level. You have to keep telling yourself:

1. You don't know what that mass is.
2. You don't know what your Mom will do if it is cancer.
3. You don't know how your father will manage.

All you know is today! And that's all you need to work on....just getting through today!

I'll keep you and your family in my thoughts

 

[mrsgreenjeens]

Originally Posted by Natalie_ca

OMG! This is terrible news!

The first thing you need to do is stop trying to predict the future. It will only add to your stress level. You have to keep telling yourself:

1. You don't know what that mass is.
2. You don't know what your Mom will do if it is cancer.
3. You don't know how your father will manage.

All you know is today! And that's all you need to work on....just getting through today!

I'll keep you and your family in my thoughts

Ditto to all of the above. I know it's easier said than done, but try. I still have my sister and elderly parents, but my Mom was diagnosed with Breast Cancer just last year at the age of 83, and she survived so far, although she's not the same. Just enjoy them as long as you have them.

Thoughts and prayers going out to you and your remaining family.

 

[catmom2wires]

I am so sorry to hear of your news and your worry. At this point, take things one minute at a time if you must. Concentrate on the present, don't let your imagine run wild.

Again, I'm sorry for the loss of your sister. I hope the autopsy report at least gives you some answers, even if they are harsh.

Take care of yourself.

Cally

 

[stephanietx]

What horrible news to receive so close on the heels of your sister's death. Praying for you and your family.

 

[kailie]

Oh hun, my heart is aching for you and your family...

I can't even begin to imagine the stress and sadness you all must be going through. We ARE here for you.

 

[blueyedgirl5946]

I am very sorry for the loss of your sister. I am sorry for the other things with your parents. I pray that your mother will be able to have treatment and recover. I just want to say you are in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you have someone close who can give you a big old bear hug. You deserve it.

 

[cheshirecat]

Originally Posted by Natalie_ca

OMG! This is terrible news!

The first thing you need to do is stop trying to predict the future. It will only add to your stress level. You have to keep telling yourself:

1. You don't know what that mass is.
2. You don't know what your Mom will do if it is cancer.
3. You don't know how your father will manage.

All you know is today! And that's all you need to work on....just getting through today!

I'll keep you and your family in my thoughts

This is good advice. Much better than any I can offer. Just keep breathing and believing that you will survive whatever happens.

 

[zohdee]

I am so sorry for your loss. I did follow the other thread and from the bottom of my heart..I am sorry.

There is nothing I can say to ease the pain but I am a pm away if you need an ear.

 

[starryeyedtiger]

The future is soo unpredictable...we will drive ourselves silly with the "what if's". I am soo sorry you've had all of this bombarding you lately love. All I can do is offer all of my thoughts and prayers (and I'm only a message away if you ever need to vent).

Also, I've found that when I start thinking about all of the questionable things in life, I get overwhelmed and feel helpless. When that happens I have to remind myself in my belief that God is in control. I remind myself that I have to take things only one day at a time...sometimes I have to take things hour by hour or minute by minute depending on the day. You WILL get through this and you have a lot of people here who love and pray for you. Stay strong hun

 

[mbjerkness]

 

[my4llma]

I'm very sorry for the loss of your sister.

 

[calico2222]

Oh honey,

. This is too much for anyone to go through at one time. But I agree, don't start panicking until you get the results of the tests. What could look like cancer on an x-ray could be anything, even scar tissue from her previous illness. Also, you don't know how someone will react to something that is happening to them. Your mom just may surprise you if it does turn out to be something serious.

I am so sorry about your sister and about everything you are going through.

 

[tavia'smom]

I am so very sorry if you need to talk feel free to send me a pm. I will keep you in my prayers

 

[addiebee]

Others have put things so well that I will not repeat except to say, breathe... you will make yourself crazy with "what if's".....

Come here anytime to vent or cry or rage or whatever. We will listen...

 

[sillyjilly]

I'm so sorry honey! You may not think you are strong enough, but you are. You are such a strong independent woman, but you are still human and will hurt, it's only natural. You will survive this, but cherish every moment you have with your family like it is your last and love them wholly! If you ever want to talk, let me know!

to you dear!

 

[jcat]

I'm so sorry that you have to cope with all these tragic events simultaneously. Others are right - try to avoid thinking "what if" and deal with things only as they come.