I'm At My Wits End With Introducing My Cats...

[MeganMoon]

Hey, y'all. Me again. Same issues. I don't know what do to. I'm trying to remain calm and treat both my cats like normal because I know they pick up on my emotions, but I'm getting so stressed with this that I start to cry just thinking about it. I don't want to give up, I'm not planning on giving up, but what I'm doing just seems to be making things worse. I've never introduced cats before, I'm in over my head, I don't know what to do now. It seems like everyone in the world has gotten their cats together but me. For context, I'm about a month and a half into this, now. Chloe is 9 years old. Sasha is about 13 or 14 weeks. I have a pretty big (3 floors+basement) house.

So, last night. My friends mom suggested, (because Chloe mostly freaks out when Sasha is at eye level and basically... I don't know, whenever she's acting like another cat in her damn house I guess) that we try holding Chloe up and letting Sasha run around -- this way she can see Sasha moving, but won't necessarily be being chased. Sasha seems to see chase as a fun game, but it makes Chloe do this horrible scream and she runs and hides. So, I'm holding her, and we let Sasha go. Sasha runs past me and around my legs, and Chloe makes this HORRIBLE angry sound I've never heard before. She goes absolutely rigid in my arms and she won't settle, so we scoop Sasha and let Chloe go. Chloe immediately whirls on ME and starts trying to angrily swipe my legs. I've never seen her this angry at me before, I know it's silly but my feelings were really hurt? And for the rest of the night she would barely let me touch her. She let me pick her up for a little earlier today again, but she was really skittish so I just loved on her a little and then let her go.

We can't have them in the same room, basically. It feels really terrible because Sasha is really like... excited to play with Chloe. She practically vibrates when they're in sight of each other, and wiggles like she wants to go to her. Even though all Chloe does is hiss and growl at her, she really doesn't seem afraid. I also can't let them free roam because Sasha ALWAYS chases after Chloe when she's free to roam. In fact, even when I close Chloe is a room while she's cat napping, she'll just sit outside of the door she's in. She teases Chloe under the door, which I think she thinks is a game too but it seriously pisses off Chloe and I have to move Sasha back to her Safe Room and let Chloe out. If Sasha sticks her paw under the door frame, she lunges at it, but Sasha just rolls around sweetly on the other side.

Everyone keeps saying "maybe it's time to just let them go and see what happens" but I am so scared to. If sweet little Sasha gets hurt and I'm the one who brought her into my house I'm going to feel so terrible... And I've basically ruined Chloe's life by bringing another cat in here... She was SO nasty last night. She's never been like that before. I'd like to think Chloe wouldn't REALLY hurt Sasha, but she COULD. I don't KNOW. And my house is so freaking big, they move so much faster than me... If a game of chase takes off, I don't think I could keep up with them to separate if they get too close to one another.

Please, please tell me what to do. What can I do now?

 

[lacy2000]

I’m going to be honest. You’re really over thinking this. Chloe will probably never really “love” Sasha simply because of how old she is, but she should tolerate her.

Basically during any cat introduction that has ever happened, the cats are going to hiss, growl, swipe, or meow. It sounds bad and scary, but it’s completely normal. They’re just letting each other know what they’re thinking. It doesn’t mean they aren’t ready to meet.

The fact that Chloe doesn’t seem afraid or angry and Sasha wants to play indicates to me that they are very ready to meet each other. I would suggest letting them both loose around each other. If either of them smack each other, growl, or put their ears back, let it happen. Eventually, they will accept each other.

I have an 8 year old cat and a 2 year old cat. I have introduced them to over 50 foster kittens. I wait the two weeks of sniffing through the door and then I simply let the kittens out. Both my cats will hiss and growl and swat. If I try to intervene they get angry and mad at me acting as if I ruined their life. Then, a day or even hours later, they are ok with each other and chasing each other around. My older cat never really likes kittens, but the kittens learn to respect her space and she’s ok with it.

 

[MeganMoon]

I appreciate your honesty! I know I'm being too cautious, I can feel it and EVERYONE thinks I'm being crazy and keeps saying "Megan just let them do what they're going to do" but I'm so scared to just open the door and let them at each other. I can afford vet bills in an emergency, but I really don't... want it to come to an emergency, you know?

I really disagree that Chloe doesn't seem angry or afraid though... She's not just meowing and growling... I can't think of a better word to describe the sound than a high-pitched screaming shriek. Like, the angriest cat shriek I've ever been in the vicinity of. Even an annoyed cat shouldn't make that sound, right? And Chloe got so mad and took off like a shot to hide under my parents bed when Sasha tried to play chase with her the one time, and she goes and hides there every time they come remotely face to face. Sasha tends to end up hiding under my bed, too, which just makes me sad lol. I've never had two cats at once before, but I really didn't think introducing them should be this hard!

 

[lacy2000]

Oh sorry I must have misread and thought you said chloe didn’t seem afraid. I’m not sure what sounds she’s making, but I know some cats can make some really weird noises when upset. She might be angry, but she will just have to come to terms with Sasha. I don’t blame you for wanting to protect them from each other, I know how scary introductions can be!

After doing some digging around, it seems that other people whose cats hid because of a new kitten had success with letting them out together and eventually they will both come out for food, water, and using the bathroom. They will then encounter each other and eventually get used to each other. Maybe try to coax them out with treats or toys and reward them when they are near each other with treats.

I don’t think keeping Sasha in quarantine is going to make their relationship better. I’d suggest letting them out with each other for awhile and watch them. It isnt usual that two spayed indoor cats will full on attack each other bad enough to cause serious injuries. If things don’t improve for a few days or they do have issues with chasing each other down or attacking, then you are going to have to try and dig deeper and find the root of Chloe’s aggression.

Btw, do you have pictures? I’d love to see your fur babies!

 

[MeganMoon]

Oh, yes, definitely! All this talking about them I've done, and no pics! Shameful on my part haha!

This is my first time doing this so apologies if they don't show up --

This one is baby Sasha!

And here's one of chunky Chloe!

I'm definitely going to have to be a little braver with them, though. Maybe we'll position someone on every floor in case they take off running and break things up if they get intense. Trim some nails again before doing so as a precaution, I guess. Also, Sasha hasn't been spay yet, but she's got an appointment in a couple weeks... Maybe that will help in the end? My mother seems to think that the aggression is probably linked to food, to be honest. When Sasha ran past me and Chloe screamed last night Sasha WAS headed in the direction of her food bowl? It's just frustrating lol, I don't care if they're never best friends but if they could be comfortable enough to co-exist at ALL I would be over the moon.

 

[lacy2000]

Maybe pick up the food or put different food bowls out in different locations. It could help! I definitely think your next step is letting them both loose in the house. It’s up to you to figure out the setup, but I think having everyone standing watch is a good idea!

Sasha being spayed could also help their situation. It will make her less territorial. Thanks for spaying! And they are both adorable!!

 

[maggiedemi]

Put a gate on the door, or stack two baby gates, so they can meet and play through the bars without hurting each other. If you don't have a gate, put one cat in the cat carrier and then let the other cat into the room. They can't hurt each other through bars. Yes, getting her spayed might help too.

 

[MeganMoon]

We did try baby gates a couple time actually!... and it didn't seem to go well, so we went back to feeding on either side of a door at the time (as per Jackson Galaxy's introduction advice). We've been lax with that lately because we have family staying with us, too. I'm sure that's not helping Chloe's stress level either.

The one time we tried Chloe kept making this high pitched growl noise, lunged for the gate when Sasha stood up against it, and then went and hid in the next room over. Is that the kind of behaviour that I just leave and let her come out on her own terms? Let Sasha carry on on her side of the gate, and let Chloe get over her hissy fit? Because usually I would go coax her out when she gets to being mad and hiding...

A side note, I don't think that Chloe necessarily has an issue with Sasha's scent at this point, either? She never really did. She didn't give a crap about the scent exchange socks we started with in early days. She investigates the rooms that Sasha's been in pretty thoroughly and she's got kind of a swishy tail when she does but her body language isn't high stress the way it is when Sasha is physically present. I'll try calling my vet and seeing if we can push her spay any sooner, anyway. I just want this to work out so badly lmao.

 

[maggiedemi]

Yeah, just put one cat in the room with the gate on it, then switch. Let them work it out. My cats used to try to punch each other through the gate all the time. They didn't hurt each other.

 

[maggiedemi]

And feed them on opposite sides of the gate, so they have to be near each other.

 

[MeganMoon]

Yeah, I think we're going to give it few days of feeding through the solid door again to build up some confidence, and then we're going to do some gates. Maybe we'll leave the gates up while we're in the house so they can see each other and walk by whenever. Definitely gonna have to get another one and double up though, Sasha has taken to climbing them and leaping over with just one lmao. Can't keep her out of anywhere!