I'm a first-time cat owner and need some advice about my new cat - yowling, high energy, biting

[girllovestoread]

Hi everyone, 

I adopted a cat from a local rescue organization last Saturday (it's been a week and a day since) - her name is Jane and she's a pretty little 1 year and three months old white kitty with brown markings. Adopting a cat is something I've been thinking about quite a bit for the past few months, as I started graduate school for library science this fall. I'm moving into my own place in a little under two weeks, and I thought that a good way to help combat potential loneliness would be to adopt a cat. 

So far she has been a sweetheart - she was very scared when I picked her up from the shelter, but she's adjusted to my bedroom well (one of my roommates is allergic, so I'm keeping her in my room for now, which I feel a little bad about). She loves to be petted, and she's been very playful - she zooms around the room quite a bit at night. She actually has more energy than I expected (I know, she's young and she's only been with me a week).

I knew that adopting a cat is a big responsibility and I was mentally prepared for that - but I'm not sure I was prepared for the anxiety I would feel after adopting her. Is this a normal experience? I had cats when I was a kid and I've always had dogs, but this is the first time I've ever owned a pet by myself. I'm so embarrassed about this, but on Sunday, Tuesday, and Friday nights I had mini anxiety/panic attacks thinking about it and couldn't stop crying - I kept thinking, "I should have gotten an older cat, maybe this was a mistake, maybe I shouldn't have gotten a cat and I don't have enough time to keep up with her." She's very energetic.

I've really enjoyed playing with her and cuddling, but I'm starting to feel cooped up with her in my bedroom and her zooming around at night has really cut down on my ability to sleep, so maybe that's part of it? Even though I knew adopting a younger cat would be a really large commitment (potentially 15-20 years), I don't think it hit me how real that is until I adopted her. 

I don't know, I'm feeling unreasonably stressed about it. I'm just worried that I'll come to regret adopting her, which I'd feel terrible about because she's been pretty sweet. But I'm worried that I might not have enough time to devote to her since she's got a lot of energy and is an only cat - and as a grad student my schedule, while flexible, means I don't have a ton of time to devote to behavioral issues/training. I hope it wasn't irresponsible of me to adopt? I wanted a companion in her. 

I haven't been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder or seen a therapist or anything but I've been pretty stressed this semester (broke up with my boyfriend of 2.5 years, started grad school, moved to a new city, etc.) and I didn't expect that I would react this way at all to adopting a cat. 

She has also started "crying" and yowling at night - she started on Friday night and then did it again last night/early this morning. I think that she's doing it for attention and wants to play, since she has food and water and a clean litter box, and I just took her to the vet yesterday and she's just fine. I have no idea why she's doing it, but it's a really creepy sound and I don't want to teach her that meowing that way will get her attention. I'm not sure what to do. I'm also barely sleeping, and her yowling is driving me crazy.

Also, last night I was petting her and accidentally draped part of my blanket over her, and she freaked out and bit me (didn't draw blood). Then this morning, shortly after crying, she jumped up on my bed and it was close enough to when I was going to wake up that I started petting her. She did the same thing, and scratched and tried to bite me - I wasn't petting her weirdly or holding her or anything, so I have no idea where this is coming from. It's making me worry that she's starting to bite for no apparent reason - please help! I'm starting to second guess adopting her. I don't know what to do and I feel terrible. I'm worried that I might be the wrong fit for her and that she'd need a house with another cat or someone else who has time to devote to these kinds of behavioral/training issues (I understand that she's still adjusting to living with me). 

I asked my mom about it and she said just be patient, but I'm worried that I'm the wrong fit for Jane and that she'd be better off in a house with more energy.

Can anyone give me any advice or insight?

 

[fhicat]

Two things I want to say off the bat:

1) Welcome to cat ownership.
2) It's normal to feel anxious (diagnosed or not) for first-timers, it means you want to be the best cat owner you can be, and that's a good thing.

Your cat is still a kitten. That means all they want to do is play, play and more play. With that in mind:

1) Is she fixed? If she's from a rescue, she should be, but it's good to check.
2) How often are you playing with her with toys? How do you play with her?
3) What is her history? When was she weaned from her mother? Did she have littermates? Where did they find her? These are questions you should ask the rescue as it helps us understand her tendencies a bit more.

You will have to do some behavioral training, and it's not as bad as it sounds. You committed to owning a cat, so you've thought about what you can and cannot afford in terms of caring.

Does she have vertical space? Cat trees, shelves you don't mind her climbing on, hiding spots. A single cat in a bedroom can be happy if they have lots of vertical space. They don't have to be fancy -- a couple of cat trees of various heights, some small boxes with holes cut in them, a couple of IKEA shelves is a good starting point. Think vertical. How much can she climb and hide and observe? Once you move into a new place, it'll be easier since she'll have the whole place to run about, but even then vertical spaces satisfy their need to climb and hide.

The biting can be rather normal, although undesirable. My 5-year-old still occasionally gets bitey with me. Biting (without drawing blood) can be a sign of boredom (likely in your case) or overstimulation. Some cats have a limit to how much, and when, they want to be pet. Think of it like tickling. Initially it feels good, you're laughing, trying to get away, but 10 seconds later it starts to feel like torture. My cat used to not let me pet him for more than 5 seconds. He'll bite and nip at me if I continued petting him. I learnt to watch for signs that he's starting to get overstimulated -- for him, his pupils get a little dilated and he freezes up for a very quick second. Once I see that, I immediately stop.

Look up youtube on how to hiss at a cat. Whenever she bites you, hiss at her. Kittens learn boundaries from their playmates (in this case, it's you). In a litter, a kitten will eventually test their limits and start to play rough. Usually, her playmates or her mother will hiss at her and then walk away. That's her "punishment" for going too far. Once you hiss at her, walk away and ignore her. If you're in bed, turn your back to her. Don't speak to her, don't scold her, don't interact with her. Completely stop what you were doing and just ignore her for 10 minutes. She needs to learn that biting = no more play.

I still have to do that to my cat. I'd pet him, and sometimes he'd get bitey and I hiss at him and just take my hand away and never look at him. He is a lot better than a few years ago, but he still gets hissed at by me.

If you're playing with her with your hands, it's time to stop. Cats should learn that hands are for petting and cuddling, not playing. When she wants to play with your hand, immediately redirect it to a toy (I keep a small toy with me for this purpose -- although I haven't been good about not playing with him with my hand -- don't be like me!).

Are you irresponsible? Only you can answer that. The fact that you're seeking help here probably means that you are committed to this beautiful little girl. Therefore we want to help.

 

[Columbine]

First of all, CHILL OUT! You're doing just fine :nod: All that's happening is that you're discovering what demanding little balls of energy kittens can be!

Her yowling at night could be boredom, but it's just as likely that she's simply missing her mom and siblings. A kitten sized stuffed toy to cuddle up to and a kitten safe heat pad could go a long way to helping her settle at night - basically simulating the size and warmth of her siblings.

Interactive play is really important too - a good play session followed by a snack just before bed will help to reset her circadian rhythms so that she learns to sleep when you do.

It's normal for kittens (and cats) to get spooked occasionally. The bite was a purely instinctive response to a scary event (YOU know it was only a blanket, but to her it was the kitten - eating blanket monster come to get her ).

The biting during petting was simply her getting a little over stimulated. If you watch kittens together, a mutual grooming session will almost always turn into a wrestling match. She simply needs to learn that you're not another kitten! All kittens go through this, and even adult cats may hit out if you stroke them too long. The best thing to do is to always have a suitable toy handy, and give that to the kitten to wrestle with when she gets a little overexcited.

Think about the setup of your room too - she needs places to climb, explore, scratch etc. Cat trees are always much appreciated, as are comfy places to window watch from.

If you're concerned about her being too cooped up, leash training is always an option. That way she can get plenty of stimulation from safe outside access.

Hang in there, and trust yourself! You're doing fine [article="32804"][/article][article="32695"][/article][article="0"][/article][article="0"][/article][article="22328"][/article][article="22430"][/article][article="30336"][/article]

 

[girllovestoread]

Thanks for the responses!

Yes, she's been spayed already by the shelter. I try to play with her multiple times per day - on the weekdays, I played and cuddled with her immediately after getting back from classes and work, which she seemed happy about. We had at least one more play session between then and our longer play session before bedtime. I've been playing with her for at least 10 minutes at a time with various string mouse toys, balls, and a wand toy (not with my hands ). We played a lot on Friday night and yesterday (I'm talking probably close to two hours of playtime throughout the day), especially before bed, but her yowling at night honestly freaked me out and kept me awake for a long time.

I don't really know why she was yowling so loudly when she has food, water, and she should have been really tired from all our playing - especially since she is not a kitten at 15 months! Although she's still a young cat.

I'm not sure they know about her life as a kitten, since she was brought to the Humane Society at 11 months and then has been in a foster home until I adopted her last weekend. I know there was at least one other cat in her foster home, which is why I'm worried that maybe she doesn't like living in a single-cat household since she doesn't have as much stimulation as she might need. I know one solution that people might suggest would be to adopt a second cat for her to play with but honestly, I'm not ready for that and don't think I could handle two cats. 

I bought her a window bed that she seems to like quite a bit so she can watch the birds in the trees and have the lay of the land. I have a desk and bookshelves that she has been climbing on thus far. My dad is into woodworking and since we have leftover carpet, rope, and wood scraps, he's building her a cat tree and scratching post - I'll have that in a few weeks. She also has been enjoying climbing under my bed and sitting in a cardboard box I have under there right by the edge of the bed so she can peek out but still stay hidden. I also noticed that she likes to scratch my rug, so I got her a sisal covered scratch mat that she seems to like so far.

Thanks for the advice on the biting (and in general!!) - I will definitely look into hissing as a means of dealing with it. 

I am just wondering at this point if she wouldn't be better off in a household where there is more "action" and potentially other playmates for her - I love her, but I want her to be as happy as she can be and while I'm trying to play with her as much as possible, I feel like she might be bored more often than not. 

 

[Columbine]

...especially since she is not a kitten at 15 months! Although she's still a young cat.

Sorry! I only saw the 3 months part of her age in your OP :doh3:

Ignore the young kitten advice (snuggle toy etc) - that isn't so relevant given her true age :anon:

At 15 months, you have an adolescent cat on your hands. She will be very high energy right now, but will hopefully chill herself over the next year. Adolescence cat often be THE most challenging phase of a cat's life (got the owner, that is ).

It really does come down to finding positive outlets for all that energy and getting a routine in place so she has a clear sense of what happens when.

Whilst she might like a playmate, many cats lead perfectly happy and fulfilled lives as only cats. There's no reason why your girl shouldn't too. Stop doubting yourself. It's still very early days, and it will take time to get to know each other fully.

With play - most cats go crazy for Da Bird. You might be surprised at how much easier she is to wear out with that toy. Definitely worth a try.

You might also find that Feliway helps ease the stress of settling in to a new home. It's not cheap, but can really make a difference in helping cats to relax and chill out.

 

[donutte]

For what it's worth, I get anxious every time I have brought a new life into our home. And I've done that more often than I can count. Par for the course, I guess. The sheer number of lives I brought into our home this past year alone, I'm surprised I'm still sane.

You are doing great.

 

[girllovestoread]

I should have been more clear about her age! I didn't really realize that she'd be as much work as she is - the shelter listed her as an adult (which she technically is) instead of an adolescent, and as much fun as she's been, I do wish I'd gotten a slightly older, more chilled out cat. Good to know that that could happen over the next year or so though.

Thank you for the recommendations and encouragement! I've heard good things about Da Bird from other cat owners as well, so I'm putting that on my Christmas list for this year! I think with the amount I'll be moving around in the next few years, Feliway will be helpful for both her and me. 

Donutte - thank you for reassuring me that I'm not the only one who feels anxious about a new pet! It's stressful because we don't know each other well yet, so I don't always know what she wants and she doesn't always know what I want (like sleep, haha). I might need to invest in a pair of earplugs.