The Top 10 Things Cats Do When No One is Watching
10> Report back to the Home Planet that the invasion plans are
proceeding as scheduled and that operation BAD DOG should
commence shortly.
9> Pick their noses, just like everyone else.
8> Carefully monitor all traffic patterns between bedroom and
bathroom. Determine strategically perfect location for
hairball. Wait until 3am.
7> Work on their translation of the Dead Sea Scrolls.
6> Practice leaping from the ottoman to the bookshelf so it
looks graceful and natural when they do it for an "audience."
5> Clean all of their non-embarrassing body parts.
4> Check that the pin-hole in the water bed is still oozing
slowly.
3> Quickly rub the top of the paw in some dirt, so they have an
excuse to spend another half-hour licking it clean.
2> Transfer dog droppings from the yard to the living room
carpet.
and the Number 1 Thing Cats Do When No One is Watching...
1> Strut and pose in front of a full-length mirror wearing a
dog collar and leash.
10> Report back to the Home Planet that the invasion plans are
proceeding as scheduled and that operation BAD DOG should
commence shortly.
9> Pick their noses, just like everyone else.
8> Carefully monitor all traffic patterns between bedroom and
bathroom. Determine strategically perfect location for
hairball. Wait until 3am.
7> Work on their translation of the Dead Sea Scrolls.
6> Practice leaping from the ottoman to the bookshelf so it
looks graceful and natural when they do it for an "audience."
5> Clean all of their non-embarrassing body parts.
4> Check that the pin-hole in the water bed is still oozing
slowly.
3> Quickly rub the top of the paw in some dirt, so they have an
excuse to spend another half-hour licking it clean.
2> Transfer dog droppings from the yard to the living room
carpet.
and the Number 1 Thing Cats Do When No One is Watching...
1> Strut and pose in front of a full-length mirror wearing a
dog collar and leash.