I Think We're Regressing With This Introduction Tactic...

[MeganMoon]

Hi again

So, you might have seen my last post. It's me posting about Chloe (9) and Sasha (almost 5 months). We've had free-roaming kitties while we're in the house for a couple days and we're starting to get used to the sounds, but I feel like the attitudes are getting worse between the cats. Sasha is SUPER interested in Chloe. We think that if she would just completely lose interest and leave her the hell alone, the problem wouldn't be as bad. Unfortunately, getting screamed and hissed and growled at is no longer a deterrent, so Sasha just keeps pursuing and trying to get behind Chloe so she can get as close as possible. Chloe is starting to get really aggressive and mean. I was kind of hoping that increased exposure would start to show that Sasha isn't a threat, but no dice so far

When we first started free-roaming, there was a LOT of caterwauling and Chloe would just run away and hide. Sasha is, quite frankly, an idiot, so she chases and keeps bothering, but she would eventually leave Chloe alone + we would do our best to distract her with toys and just play within Chloe's eyesight.

The problem (?) now is that instead of just running away from each other, Chloe has started aggressively running towards and attacking Sasha. No real contact yet, but I'm worried that we're only a breath away from it escalating to that. And I am positive that this is not play. The ears are sideways or flat against the head, the teeth are bared, claws are out, and the tail snaps around like a whip. Chloe is angry. Typically, this manages to frighten Sasha off for a while, but she always comes back around and tries again.

In fact, Chloe has started to do this when we're holding Sasha even, which she has never done before. As soon as I set Sasha on the ground a minute ago (I was trying to show Chloe that she was coming out of her room, we try not to surprise her), Chloe rushed at her with the claws out as she was about to flop over only a blanket.

Guys, I really don't know what to do. Is this development normal Cat Politics, or should I be concerned that this seems worse than it was before we allowed free-roaming? I want to reiterate that I am NOT giving up, but I'm getting really tired and I'm running out of ideas to make this work.

 

[abyeb]

Here’s an article that gives some good advice: How To Fix An Unsuccessful Cat Introduction

 

[MeganMoon]

Yeah, I've read like every article that gets tossed around this section a couple times over, too. Thank you, but at this point I'm wondering if I need to hire a professional to take over my cat introduction

 

[Timmer]

So is Chloe 9 months or 9 years old?
So take a few steps back and close the new one in the room for a day if you can. Or have one spend a few hours in the room while the other one roams the house. It makes sense that it's worse now because someone has to come out as the alpha cat. That's what they are trying to do.

I'll tell you something. I've had cats all my life and the way I did it was I held the resident cat, I got someone else to hold the new cat. We sat on the couch next to each other and let them smell each other as we held them. They hissed, whatever. After a time, we let them down and they just got over it. There were some spats during the day but no blood drawn. That's what you don't want. I know people are really gung ho on these easing into things but the only time I have had big problems with introducing two cats is when I did the text book one everyone recommends. Having said that....
I didn't see your original post. Are the cats spayed?

I actually think it's a good sign that Chloe is no longer retreating and is running towards Sasha. The cats are trying to establish dominance in the household. You don't want a fearful cat that runs and hides all the time. She needs to give Sasha a swat! My female turned into a fearful cat who has spent years hiding under things. She wasn't like that when I got her but years later when her sister died, I got another cat and they never got along. EVER. And yes, I tried a trainer and behavioralist. Nothing worked. I kept them separated for 8 years.
But your situation is not nearly as bad as mine was, from what it sounds.

If things get ugly, I would give one cat a time out. Be patient.

 

[MeganMoon]

Hi Timmer, thanks for the reply!

Sorry, yeah, Chloe is 9 years. She is also fixed, and Sasha will be on the 26th of this month. We do hope that once she's fixed it'll take the edge off of our process here. Sasha still spends most of her day and sleeps in the safe "cat room" that we set up for her when we first brought her home -- 3 months ago.

We did the slow "Jackson Galaxy" method of cat introductions for 2 months, and when they started to settle on either side of the door EVERYONE kept tell me we had to start letting them free roam (including the vet) so that they can sort out their hierarchy. I completely understand that, I have read so many resources on this subject now, but I have no experience actually introducing cats. It's like I can't tell what's good and what's bad, it all just feels bad haha. It feels so frustrating, like everyone in the world can have more than one cat but me. I have had a cat my entire life, literally, but never more than one at the same time. How do I do this!! I know patience is step one, but it's hard to have patience when I can't tell if we're heading in the right direction at the very least!

Again, I do appreciate the reply. I apologize that I keep posting here about my cats, I just am hoping for advice or reassurance that I'm not messing this all up. My friends all have multiple cats, but what apparently worked for them is super not working for us. I love both my cats, I don't want either one to get hurt. And I don't care if they never love each other, I would be over the moon if they could just coexist and ignore each other for the most part :')

 

[Timmer]

Might be an issue with the age difference. You think? I kinda do. You have a young male full of energy and he's not neutered. Chloe has been your cat for 9 years and that's a long time. See that was my problem with my female. She'd been in the house for about 5 years and I got Timmer and things never went well. Ever. But Timmer ended up being the love of my life (he recently passed away).
Maybe you had them separated for TOO long. I think 2-3 days of having them in a room is plenty, not months. But keep at it. And don't worry about posting here. It's never too much. LOL! We all wanna help and you will get some great advice here. Probably better than mine.
Have you tried just sort of distracting them with treats? I'm sure you have.

My last part you won't wanna hear, so sorry, but you owe it to Chloe to think of her life. If she has to constantly battle, that's not fair to her. I say this because of what I went through with my two cats. I actually worked with Jackson Galaxy through video, before he was famous. Nothing he suggested worked and he admitted he couldn't help me. I had to build a door at the top of my second floor and Lupita lived upstairs and Timmer lived downstairs. For 8 years we did this. I swapped the cats out twice a day so they could take turns, and take turns sleeping with me. It was a constant battle and very stressful but...I was in love with both of them.

Give it some time after he gets neutered. I really do believe that most of the time two cats work it out. They might not be buddies curled up together like you imagine, but you want tolerance and peace. A spat now and then is normal. I have NEVER had two cats that slept together or groomed each other. Can't even imagine it.

Hang in there some more.

 

[Timmer]

OH SORRY, EDIT...I THOUGHT SASHA WAS A BOY. SORRY. LOL

 

[MeganMoon]

Haha no worries!!
Your point still stands!

I think once Sasha has been spayed that will help, but the significant age difference makes me think we'll never have those cuddling, grooming cats. And that's ok! I'll love them both individually enough for everyone. No problems

I'm thinking we definitely did go too slow, but I would have figured that too slow was still better than too fast & they'd be relatively more comfortable around each other. Sasha just wants to play with her, she keeps bringing Chloe her toys!! If she would just leave Chloe alone there probably wouldn't be as big a problem. Maybe I should have gotten TWO kittens??

But yeah. I'll just try to keep patient and not freak out when they go a runnin' at each other... Thanks for the reply anyway!

 

[theyremine]

Are you open to two kittens? That might just solve the problem as Sasha will have the playmate she craves and be more apt to leave Chloe alone.

 

[MeganMoon]

I would honestly absolutely love love love to get another kitten. Unfortunately with my living situation right now I don't think I can add another cat to the mix... maybe I'll try make it happen anyway