But I'm afraid to open it to see what it says.
I know that probably sounds ridiculous, but I don't think I can deal with it very well if it's denied again. I used to be able to handle rejections and stress pretty well, but after going through several years of hell with the abusive ex b/f and all that he put me through (including kicking me out into the streets twice with nowhere to go and facing the horrors of being homeless - amongst other things) I just don't have the ability to handle stress like I used to.
I'm a mess right now: my heart is racing, my hands are shaking, and I'm getting a headache. I want to find out what the decision is, but I'm just petrified of what the outcome will be.
To make matters worse, our landlady came over this morning and told me that if we can't come up with the money to buy our place like we've been planning on doing, she's gonna sell the place to someone else. Which means we're probably gonna have to find another place, b/c I don't know how on earth we can come up with the money. And try to find a place that lets you have ten cats. That's next to impossible. My babies are the only things that keep me going most of the time: I'd be lost w/o them.
I'm a nervous wreck right now.
I feel like crying.
I know that probably sounds ridiculous, but I don't think I can deal with it very well if it's denied again. I used to be able to handle rejections and stress pretty well, but after going through several years of hell with the abusive ex b/f and all that he put me through (including kicking me out into the streets twice with nowhere to go and facing the horrors of being homeless - amongst other things) I just don't have the ability to handle stress like I used to.
To make matters worse, our landlady came over this morning and told me that if we can't come up with the money to buy our place like we've been planning on doing, she's gonna sell the place to someone else. Which means we're probably gonna have to find another place, b/c I don't know how on earth we can come up with the money. And try to find a place that lets you have ten cats. That's next to impossible. My babies are the only things that keep me going most of the time: I'd be lost w/o them.
I'm a nervous wreck right now.