I need advice on making emergency arrangements for my cat's care should something happen to me

dianajune

TCS Member
Thread starter
Adult Cat
Joined
Mar 4, 2013
Messages
205
Purraise
136
I wasn't sure where else to put this message, so here I am.

It's been awhile since I last posted here. Not only has my cat been coping with chronic tummy issues, I have been going through some very serious issues myself. I adopted Pumpkin just over 8 years ago after he was abandoned in Pulaski, NY. We now live in another part of Oswego County not far from Syracuse.

My health has been getting worse and I happened to mention to my brother that I finally got vaccinated against Covid. He's opposed to the vaccine, and so is our father, with whom my brother lives. When I told my brother that I got vaccinated he wasn't happy to hear about it and I asked him once again if he would still be willing to take in my cat should something happen to me. He refuses to do so, stating that he would get blood clots if he's anywhere near me or my kitty.
I can't tell you how much this upset me. The reason I asked him about this after our vaccine conversation is that in the past, he said yes if I asked if he would take him in but he seemed reluctant.

So I went to two other people who both love my kitty and asked if they'd be willing to help should something happen to me. One of them went back on her word and the other one is changing jobs soon (she's my care manager) so I am very worried that something will happen to my cat if the worst should happen.

My care manager said she's still willing to be a caregiver for Pumpkin should something happen to me but I am still worried this arrangement won't work out because the other two people (inc. my brother) changed their minds.

The Central New York SPCA takes in animals from Onondaga County only. The Cat Coalition and the Oswego County version of the SPCA don't have physical shelters, they just make foster care arangements.

I'm worried sick that something will happen to my baby if the worst should happen. Coping with the pandemic has been bad enough, but the thought of something happening to my cat should I die is too much to bear.

My health wasn't nearly as bad when I adopted him as it is now. I could try to rehome him now but I don't want to. I love him to pieces. Pumpkin is like a child to me. He gives me something to think about other than myself. I have to get up every day to take care of his needs. He keeps me going.

I really need advice on how to proceed. This is too much for me to take. Thank you.
 

verna davies

TCS Member
Staff Member
Forum Helper
Joined
Feb 23, 2016
Messages
21,754
Purraise
13,207
Location
Wales uk
I live in the UK and adopted my cats from the Cat Protection. They have a scheme called Cat Guardian where you register your cats, give as much detail as possible such as type of home they will need, illnesses, personality etc. If something happens to me they will collect my cats and find a home that is a good fit for them. Maybe there is something similar near you. Phone around and ask. It is a worry I know but it's good that you are being proactive.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #3

dianajune

TCS Member
Thread starter
Adult Cat
Joined
Mar 4, 2013
Messages
205
Purraise
136
As far as I know, there's no such arrangement in my part of Central New York. I wish there was.

I messaged the CNY SPCA again, begging them to help and they refused. They just wrote back and told me to find a shelter in my area but there are none, except for one north of here that has a very bad reputation.

I'm scared something will happen to him. I can't stop worrying because my health has been getting worse.
 

FeebysOwner

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Jun 13, 2018
Messages
13,268
Purraise
17,667
Location
Central FL (Born in OH)
Not a solution, but don't give up on your brother - time changes people's minds - it could happen to him too!

In the meantime, look for rescue centers, especially those with regular fosters. The fosters generally have a network, so there are other fosters 'behind the scenes' as well. I realize you might not want to start out with your direct concern, but you could also be on the search for neighborhood programs that either work with rescue centers - or outside of them because of their own issues within the 'system'. Perhaps, look for assisted living facilities that allow live in pets, there might be some connections to be made there too. It is no guarantee, but you might find some contacts through these means that can lead to other contacts. Sometimes, you would just be amazed at what is out there if you connect with the right people.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #5

dianajune

TCS Member
Thread starter
Adult Cat
Joined
Mar 4, 2013
Messages
205
Purraise
136
I've been working on this for much of the day. I reached out to another shelter in a different county other than what I mentioned and am hoping they can help. If they can't, I don't know who else to reach out to. Oswego County NY is predominantly rural. I don't know of any rescue groups around here that can help.
 

fionasmom

TCS Member
Staff Member
Forum Helper
Joined
Jun 21, 2014
Messages
3,688
Purraise
5,859
Location
Los Angeles
What Will Happen To My Cat If I Die? – TheCatSite Articles
Places That Will Take Care Of Your Pet If Something Happens To You.

Those articles might have some information that might help. In CA there is a place called Cathouse on the Kings which will take in cats who have no place else to go....I should add, for a substantial amount but that is for life. I googled "cat sanctuary upstate ny" and a number of listings came up. Of course, I have no reference point for any of them.

Do you have Nextdoor that you can use to try to put out some inquiries?
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #7

dianajune

TCS Member
Thread starter
Adult Cat
Joined
Mar 4, 2013
Messages
205
Purraise
136
Thank you for those links! They were very informative but I'm still having trouble finding help. Re. the one with a link to information about a pet trust, I don't think this is feasible because I'm on a fixed income and have few financial resources. Just my disability checks.
Making a legal agreement with someone to take my baby probably wouldn't work out (this was discussed in the first link). I believe the person who agreed to take Pumpkin (the one who's changing jobs) would be offended if I tried to make this legally binding. I don't want to jeopardize this arrangement if she will honor her promise to me.

Re. information in the first link, it also went into setting up a trust by obtaining life insurance policy of which that trust would be the beneficiary. Again, I have few resources and there's a legal reason why this won't work out, that I can't get into here.

If I didn't adopt Pumpkin over eight years ago he probably wouldn't be alive today. Winter was here when I took him in and we used to live in a very high traffic area. I could have just let him go wandering around but I couldn't let that happen. When I adopted Pumpkin I wasn't in the best of health but it wasn't as bad as it is now.

I just don't want anything to happen to him because of me. I am so scared & having trouble coping with this issue on top of the pandemic and other things I'm going through, inc. a problem neighbor who's being evicted from this complex.

Please pray for me. This is very difficult to handle.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #8

dianajune

TCS Member
Thread starter
Adult Cat
Joined
Mar 4, 2013
Messages
205
Purraise
136
I forgot to ask - what is Nextdoor? I never heard of it. Thank you!
 

FeebysOwner

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Jun 13, 2018
Messages
13,268
Purraise
17,667
Location
Central FL (Born in OH)
I forgot to ask - what is Nextdoor? I never heard of it. Thank you!
Nextdoor Neighbor. Nextdoor. It is for groups of homes in a specific location/area, that socialize with one another through the web site. When accessing the link above, it should 'recognize' your location and show you a local neighborhood group to join (for free).
 

danteshuman

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Mar 27, 2017
Messages
4,038
Purraise
4,502
Location
California
I wish I had great advice for you!

I would talk to your Care Manger again since I’m guessing you not the first person in her/his care to be in this situation with a pet..... so maybe they can point you in the right direction? If you have the $ I would start a trust for Pumpkins care/vet bills. Also built might be a good way to get your brother to take Pumpkin in but would he care for Pumpkin & love her? Another home might be in Pumpkin’s best interest. Perhaps you can seek out animal lovers in your area, people in your state who love cats & have the same medical condition as you or even your church.

Have you told your brother how much Pumpkin means to you? I flat out told my mom that I would have killed myself if not for Dante the Greatest; who got me through 13 hellish months of unimaginable pain. Thing is; I was being honest. So when Dante fell ill; I’m eternally grateful to my mom who spent a couple thousand dollars on him, then put him down & cremated him for me. I have Jackie now & Nana’s house is his second home. So if anything happens to me, I know she will adopt him. Plus I know she likes him now because she calls him Bud occasionally! 💜
 

danteshuman

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Mar 27, 2017
Messages
4,038
Purraise
4,502
Location
California
I have told my mom “please take care of Jackie if I die or suddenly can not care for him! He is my baby & I just need to know he will be OK. I don’t care what you do with my body (it is just a shell) I just need to know he will be alright.”

Jackie visits Nana’s house every weekend (& I spend the night) partly to keep his relationship with his brother going, partly so he is familiar/comfortable at her house & partly so he is comfortable/bonded a bit to my mom (just in case.) This might work with your brother. Over the months:years your brother might bond more with Pumkin. If you go this route, tell me & I will tell you what you need to pack for her overnight visit ...... it is like taking a baby! A small tiny being that requires a grocery cart full of junk to go anywhere! 😉
 

voyager

TCS Member
Young Cat
Joined
Nov 12, 2017
Messages
78
Purraise
54
Location
Pahoa, HI
I can't offer much help.
But, you're brother and father are ignorant, misinformed idiots.
That is a fairly common affliction in today's world.

I am in my late 70's.
My galfriend is in her early 70's.
We are both in exceptionally good health.

We have two 5 year old cats.
In my life I've had cats live for up to 20 years, or more.
We may have to go into our late 90's, or more to outlive our cats.
Chances are good that we will.
But, we still give it consideration.

Our cats are pampered, cared for, and also look to be in very good health.
They are as much family as a child would be.
They are outdoor cats with a some what shorter life expectancy.
We do worry about their futures.
What happens to them if we were to die before them?

We chose them and picked them from a large number of kittens in an animal pound.
Little doubt they would have been euthanized if we had not adopted them.
They will probably be older cats if/when we both die before them.

They could easily adapt to our going.
Your cat does love you.
But, It'll never miss you.
That's just the way cats are.
They live in the here and now without considering the future.
But, cats are too territorial to easily adapt to having their home location changed, especially after having lived in location for a long time and having aged there.

Arrangements to move them are probably a very poor idea.
Ours have made friends with our closest neighbors.
They might possibly take them in, probably not.

We see only one probable outcome for us and the cats.
If our health begins to fail, we will probably make arrangements with the nearest veterinarian to euthanize them if we die.
That would be much preferred to just yanking their care and protection from them leaving them adrift.

I have contacted local SPCA and other animal welfare organizations concerning similar conditions where unspecified to long term care is needed.
No one does it unless you can bequeath the costs to cover such a situation, like the rich lady's cat that inherits millions of dollars.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #15

dianajune

TCS Member
Thread starter
Adult Cat
Joined
Mar 4, 2013
Messages
205
Purraise
136
I wish I had great advice for you!

I would talk to your Care Manger again since I’m guessing you not the first person in her/his care to be in this situation with a pet..... so maybe they can point you in the right direction? If you have the $ I would start a trust for Pumpkins care/vet bills. Also built might be a good way to get your brother to take Pumpkin in but would he care for Pumpkin & love her? Another home might be in Pumpkin’s best interest. Perhaps you can seek out animal lovers in your area, people in your state who love cats & have the same medical condition as you or even your church.

Have you told your brother how much Pumpkin means to you? I flat out told my mom that I would have killed myself if not for Dante the Greatest; who got me through 13 hellish months of unimaginable pain. Thing is; I was being honest. So when Dante fell ill; I’m eternally grateful to my mom who spent a couple thousand dollars on him, then put him down & cremated him for me. I have Jackie now & Nana’s house is his second home. So if anything happens to me, I know she will adopt him. Plus I know she likes him now because she calls him Bud occasionally! 💜
My brother knows how much Pumpkin means to me. He's my little baby and I love him dearly. Only problem is, my brother will not come near me because I'm vaccinated. He seems to think that he will get blood clots from me or my cat because I've had the Covid vaccine. My brother lives in Dad's house and I think he's being a bad influence on our father. Dad refuses to get vaccinated either and is in poor health too, so I can't ask him to take on this responsibility.

I can't rehome him now. I just can't. I gave that some thought today and decided not go, given our strong bond and his medical issues, which for now are under control.

I don't have the money for a trust fund for Pumpkin. I pay his vet bills in cash, which isn't easy but he's worth it. He's got his first check up since before the pandemic began coming up next month. I dread taking him because we'll be going on the bus. He hates cars but as far as I know has never been on a bus before. We'll be using my power wheelchair so he'll have to cope with the wheelchair lift.

I hope he won't go nuts. But he needs this checkup and his rabies booster.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #16

dianajune

TCS Member
Thread starter
Adult Cat
Joined
Mar 4, 2013
Messages
205
Purraise
136
I can't offer much help.
But, you're brother and father are ignorant, misinformed idiots.
That is a fairly common affliction in today's world.

I am in my late 70's.
My galfriend is in her early 70's.
We are both in exceptionally good health.

We have two 5 year old cats.
In my life I've had cats live for up to 20 years, or more.
We may have to go into our late 90's, or more to outlive our cats.
Chances are good that we will.
But, we still give it consideration.

Our cats are pampered, cared for, and also look to be in very good health.
They are as much family as a child would be.
They are outdoor cats with a some what shorter life expectancy.
We do worry about their futures.
What happens to them if we were to die before them?

We chose them and picked them from a large number of kittens in an animal pound.
Little doubt they would have been euthanized if we had not adopted them.
They will probably be older cats if/when we both die before them.

They could easily adapt to our going.
Your cat does love you.
But, It'll never miss you.
That's just the way cats are.
They live in the here and now without considering the future.
But, cats are too territorial to easily adapt to having their home location changed, especially after having lived in location for a long time and having aged there.

Arrangements to move them are probably a very poor idea.
Ours have made friends with our closest neighbors.
They might possibly take them in, probably not.

We see only one probable outcome for us and the cats.
If our health begins to fail, we will probably make arrangements with the nearest veterinarian to euthanize them if we die.
That would be much preferred to just yanking their care and protection from them leaving them adrift.

I have contacted local SPCA and other animal welfare organizations concerning similar conditions where unspecified to long term care is needed.
No one does it unless you can bequeath the costs to cover such a situation, like the rich lady's cat that inherits millions of dollars.
I agree that my brother is an idiot, but not Dad. I think that with Dad's declining health he's become more reliant on my brother for help around his home. My brother is being a horrible influence on our father. Chances are, if my brother thinks he will get blood clots is he's around me or anyone else who's been vaccinated, our father probably feels the same way. Neither one will get the jab.

I will not get Pumpkin euthanized should I get even worse off, health-wise, than I am now. I just can't do that. I would have a hard time to do it even if the vet thought it was medically necessary.

I thought that animals mourned their humans if they die first. Was I mistaken?

I hope this will be resolved soon. Getting through the pandemic has been hard enough on top of my health problems. And now this.
 

danteshuman

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Mar 27, 2017
Messages
4,038
Purraise
4,502
Location
California
Sorry I thought your brother was thinking he would get a blood clot from stress. 🤦🏻‍♀️ That is almost as good as vaccinated people effecting the fertility of women around them. 🙄 I sometimes talk to an old roommate who is into conspiracy theories. I ask for concrete, fact checked proof. At which point he either tries to redirect to another conspiracy theory or mutters how fake news can not be trusted. Which I count as a “you are right but I won’t admit it.” So instead of telling him he is wrong, ask him to explain it to you & show you proof on just this one subject. Then return your proof that Covid vaccines are safe (especially the one you got) & then address his “people who are vaccinated cause side effects to the non vaccinated” bit with “show me proof” or my favorite “Trump is a giant lizard alien in a human suit ..... go ahead prove me wrong!” To illustrate the need for cold, hard, scientific facts. Facts don’t lie, they just are; like gravity. ⭐Don’t try to get your brother to stop believing in conspiracy theories. Conspiracy theories mean you are special & know something no one else knows! ⭐For some reason Fox “news” watchers seem to embrace conspiracy theories more. No idea why.

Again I’m sorry for the misunderstanding. I never meant you should rehome pumpkin now! I meant his being adopted or foster/adopted if you died (or could no longer card for him) might be better for pumpkin then staying with your brother.

Talking to your vet sounds like a great idea! The more people you ask; the better your chance of them pointing you in the direction.

Do you have any other extended family? Even if a cousin or Aunt had a cat or dog they left behind, I & many/most of my family members would take that pet in (& love it.) However not all families are great (like my dad’s side of the family) so I just don’t consider them family. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Blood isn’t necessary to be family. So you can always adopt new family members into your life.

I joined a MS forum years ago. It might be worth looking into support groups & forums for whatever disease you have. They might be able to help you with your Pumpkin question & will be able to help/support you with dealing with your disease.

I don’t know what you are facing physically. I have MS & I’m on SSI. So I get what you mean about money. I buy things for my cat first & myself last. He is vaccinated, neutered & one day (hopefully when he is geriatric) I will pay to give him a good death. However I don’t have $ to give him lots of medical stuff. It doesn’t make you a bad owner or cat guardian,

I know stress doesn’t help with medical stuff. I have learned to admit I need help saves me a ton of stress (& being to exhausted to do anything.) I have also found I need to do something that brings me joy (&/or peace) every day ...... even if just for 5 or 15 minutes a day; is necessary for my sanity. When I talk to cancer patients during my monthly visit to my infusion (IV) clinic they all do the same thing.

It is rather unnerving/depressing/frustrating to feel completely out of control of your body and the only thing worse is when it messes with your mind! My heart goes out to you. I wish you joy, peace & many happy years with Pumpkin.
3CDC95B4-4186-4365-8FBD-495D26CDD45B.jpeg
 

danteshuman

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Mar 27, 2017
Messages
4,038
Purraise
4,502
Location
California
Oh & of course pets mourn the loss of their humans (& furry friends!) There are so many stories that prove this. I have seen cats mourn the loss of other cats of dogs .... sometimes for a couple of years. I have heard countless stories of pets visiting their owner’s grave until the day they died.
 
Top