I have to say it now

[nurseangel]

I believe my vet's office killed Rue. This has been over a month ago, and I still have not processed it. It's like she's still here. Rue came to us after an abusive-type neighbor (never saw it, but this man was something else) moved away and left her. We had already been feeding her, but she always returned back to his house. We loved and cared for her. She always had a warm place to sleep and was welcome in our home.

She was an older cat and went every year to have her hair shaved, because it would knot up. I do not know exactly how old she was, but my guess would be between 19 and 20. DH thought he was giving her something like a spa week - he bought her favorite food (chicken from a fast food restaurant) on Wednesday and I heard him telling her how good she was going to feel after she had her hair cut. I told him if he took her to the vet she would die. I can't explain how I knew. I said she would have a heart attack.

On Friday, DH woke me up to tell me the vet's office called and said Rue died while there. I got really angry. No would touch our Siamese cat for grooming due to her age (she was in her mid-20s). We learned that and did the best we could at home, so as not to scare her. My husband never thought this would happen to Rue. He even went back to talk to the vet becuase of what I'd said. The vet's reply was that cats die there all the time. I can't remember if he said while being groomed, but what? The vet also said that she didn't die the year before. I am so angry. Nothing can do can bring her back, but I am still filled with anomosity. Why didn't they just refuse to groom her? I don't blame DH. He didn't know. He thought he was doing something kind for her. I'm mad at myself, for not being more proactive. Becuase I knew, somehow.

 

[fionasmom]

I am so sorry that this happened to you....and to Rue. Your vet's response was quite brusque, especially the admission that cats die there all the time. I lost two pets at the vet...a dog years ago who was turned over to a substitute vet for surgery, and my cat Stella just a couple years ago after she struggled violently during a blood test. It is something that stays with you in a whole different way than the expected passing of an older animal. At least in my case Stella's vet manned up and came out to talk to me and accepted the blame for the fact that her health was not good (14 and diabetic) and that she was probably handled roughly which caused the heart attack. In Stella's case it was the fructosamine test and I had brought her in place of another cat who refused to be put into a carrier, just to keep the appointment for someone. It was not the time for either of those animals to have passed as they did.

You helped Rue to have good years with you after her abusive home and certainly saw her into old age. I hope that you can take comfort in that.

 

[Maisy Sky]

Hi, I just wanted to say how very sorry I am to hear of Rue's passing. The canine love of my life collapsed and died at the vets a few years ago, but for too many reasons to go into, it was actually a blessing due to what she was going to go through very soon due to type of cancer she had. I bring this up because I know what a shock a sudden, unexpected death can be. Please do not blame yourself. You were an angel taking her into your home and providing her with the love and care she'd always longed for. You did nothing wrong - and I'm sure Rue would have wanted her coat easier to groom. I'm sorry you've been suffering over this. I have a feeling that if you had truly, without question believed she would die, you would have stopped him from taking her. I say this because I, like you, sometimes get these bad premonitions that I have to shake off because that is just how my brain is wired. Thankfully, the vast majority of the times these dark premonitions I have never come to fruition. It's impossible to know when we get these dark, foreboding feelings if they are truly a warning or just our anxiety tugging at our hearts. Little Rue needed her coat to be groomed and none of this is your fault. I'm sorry that the vet's response was not very compassionate and only served to deepen your anxiety. He should have been apologetic and reassuring rather than so matter-of-fact. I feel your grief and feelings of guilt has been greatly intensified by the vet's rude response and I'm very sorry for that. You're in my thoughts and prayers - the pain of losing a tur kid is a deep, deep wound...

 

[nurseangel]

Hi, thank you both for the kind words. Our vet is very outspoken. He once complimented us when we brought in a stray kitten that was dying, telling us we were some of the most compassionate people we'd ever met. He said most people who come in there don't give a . In those exact words. I think watching the video of that newswoman's dog who was killed at a grooming facility did not help matters. Rue was a fighter; she would scratch and bite. I think part of this was because of the way she was raised; who knows what she went through with her orginial owner? I hope she wasn't treated in a cruel way at the vet's office (actually, the grooming was done at the boarding kennel they have across the road). This will haunt me for a long time.

 

[Maisy Sky]

Hi, thank you both for the kind words. Our vet is very outspoken. He once complimented us when we brought in a stray kitten that was dying, telling us we were some of the most compassionate people we'd ever met. He said most people who come in there don't give a . In those exact words. I think watching the video of that newswoman's dog who was killed at a grooming facility did not help matters. Rue was a fighter; she would scratch and bite. I think part of this was because of the way she was raised; who knows what she went through with her orginial owner? I hope she wasn't treated in a cruel way at the vet's office (actually, the grooming was done at the boarding kennel they have across the road). This will haunt me for a long time.

Not knowing exactly what happened must be awful. Would you feel comfortable speaking with the groomer who was working on Rue? Maybe they could reassure you by explaining what happened.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Rest you gentle, Rue, dream you deep. Your pawprints are on someone's heart forever.

There are no words. I am just...stunned, as I know you are. My heart with yours.

 

[di and bob]

Rue was 19 or 20 years old. Cutting her hair at home, even from those she loved, may have ended with the same results. But having matted hair causes terrific problems too and would have had her suffer, making the time she had left miserable, you could not do that either. Having her hair cut every year for so long was something she was accustomed to, she may not have liked it, but she tolerated it. Doing it at home may have been even more traumatic because they are used to us and fight all the harder. They are scared at a new place and are usually more docile. Try not to blame anyone involved, it truly could have been Rue's time, and if not, very close to it. Having the trauma of getting her hair cut may have contributed to her sudden death, but I'm sure you would agree a sudden, quick death is preferable to one that is horribly drawn out, I've been through that several times and it is devastating too. Deep in your heart you already had an intuition that Rue was nearing the end, you felt her bright light dimming......
You gave Rue a wonderful life, especially after her rough start. That is what you should cling to. Of course it hurts, it was sudden, shocking, and tore your heart in two. But there is no way to prepare for a broken heart, even if you know it is inevitable. Rue had her family's love and she will always have it. She is at peace. There is a huge hole in your life right now and it will take a long time to fill it. She will always be as close as your thoughts and prayers, do not let the pain consume you, and turn her beautiful love into something painful. She would never want that. Go forward and live your future as you would want her to go on if you were the first to go. It was you that brought happiness and love into her world, let her love and memories do the same in yours. You literally saved her and in return, she gave you so much.....
My thoughts and prayers are with you all, I'll pray for her tiny soul and to let her continue to send you her love. Let time soothe the sharp edges. Try not to dwell on her end, but rather the joy of her life. You loved that little girl so much, grief is what it is. Keep busy, do something that makes you feel better, be kind to yourself and those around you. You will be blessed for loving so much and for what you brought into that sweet girl's life. Love is spiritual so eternal. Love is also unique and special to everyone and the grief when they leave us is too. Just get through the next minute, the next day, the next month, one day at a time.......RIP precious Rue. You will be dearly missed, you will always have secure places in loving hearts. May the good Lord bless and keep you, until you meet again!