I Have A Feeling The Cat Was Abused...

[dreameater]

Hi! I'm in need of opinions on a current situation I am going through right now. I've had a boyfriend over the last 6 months and he decided to leave me (over petty reasons), but that's not the point. The whole time I knew he had a cat, but he didn't talk to me about him often, as much as I wanted to hear about him. I had ended up pulling my ex from his father's as his father was very abusive towards him. I've had him living with me since November of 2016. Not much longer after he moved in, his father moved to a new house, but told us we needed to take the cat because their home wasn't allowed to have animals. So I finally got to meet the cat. His name is Mickey, he's a very handsome boy. Beautiful tabby markings on his back and a white belly and feet. He was so scared, but I figured he didn't know where he was. We had received extra food and litter (with the box) for him, but the food was not healthy at all, and the litter box was basically broken all around the sides. Luckily we had a brand new litter box and some food we mixed from our other cat Millie. So, I was asking some information about the cat. Where did he come from, how old is he, is he fixed, vet records etc...my ex had claimed he had gotten the cat from a stranger and that he was 18 years old. The cat is not fixed and he says he 'thinks' he's been to the vet. All I said was, we need to get him fixed, get shots and also...there is no way this cat is 18 years old. Soft fur, clear eyes, almost perfect teeth, soft feet, and definitely not slow or sleepy, I'd say the cat is about 5-6 years based on his condition...but that doesn't mean he's totally healthy, they had no record of any ailments this cat could possibly have. I was also told that Mickey likes to sleep under the kitchen sleep all day as he is a 'night cat' which...all cats just take frequent naps and should NOT be sleeping throughout a whole day. Upon bringing Mickey, we knew he'd have to adjust to his surroundings and the other cat, which is female and spayed, so don't worry lol. She was just kinda scared and hissing but he just took off and hid, a normal reaction to new surroundings I'd say. Where did he hide? Under the sink in the bathroom, away from everyone. So I let things take time, he seemed to come around, and also...started spraying, which is horrible but we couldn't afford the neuter at the time. Off topic but I'd like to add that my exes family is in no way rich to afford vet bills but neither are we, they just spend money foolishly (drugs, alcohol and video games). So I started to keep Mickey in my bedroom overnight so he wasn't alone and didn't bother Millie. We have a box, food and water and plenty of room since my room is pretty large. After coming around, Mickey would come up on the bed, headbutt me and purr, and he started sleeping behind me, not next to my ex. He would occasionally show affection to my ex, but not nearly as much as me. He became extremely attached within the first 3 weeks. However, during the day...he would hide behind my desk. I didn't like that because it was a right space and hard to get him out in case of emergency, so I blocked it off, since there were better places for him to hide, that's when he started hiding under the headboard from our bed all day, in a little nook where the wall ends. So I could pull the mattress back and see him, he looked pretty sad to me. I didn't like it at all, but I wanted him to be comfortable. My ex would say 'just leave him alone'. One day, Mickey had broken the door barrier and got out over night. The next morning I woke up to my ex screaming in my face. Mickey sprayed on the kitchen counter, and my ex didn't notice, put a cookie in the puddle just before eating it, causing him to lash out on Mickey and me. I was crying and he was yelling so loud, I found out that my grandma who lives downstairs heard everything and told my mom that her and her cat were super scared. This whole thing really upset me. Over the next month or two my ex would continue to lash out and Mickey would hide all day when he was home. When he was staying the night at his friend's house, that's a different story. Mickey would stay out all day, follow me and just be a very happy boy, but as soon as my ex got home...he ran back into the nook. I could see why. My ex would yell at him, and I've even seen him really hurt Mickey. I was so scared. I was in such a bad state I didn't dare say a thing in fear of mine and Mickey' s safety. Whenever Mickey would break out of the room or do something bad, my ex told me he was keeping him in the cat carrier all night. The carrier is a small right bag, enclosed off meant to contain an animal for transportation, not punishment, let alone for 10 HOURS without food, water or a bathroom. I would always combat that, and I would win, but my ex would be highly agitated and say 'Its always what you want' and 'He is MY cat and no one knows him better than me'. I didn't even argue it, because he knows nothing about animal language, and not pursuing a career in animal care. Weeks pass and turn into days. My ex was claiming he was going in to the national guard, and was going to be away for 2 to 5 years. So he was always gone saying 'bye' to his family when he wasn't even enlisted. Upon a phone call to the sargeant, he could not enlist without a high school diploma or G.E.D. All the times when he left, Mickey was absolutely thrilled and sat with me all day. Eventually, my ex cheated on me...things went down hill, and he left. Here's the dispute. I am NOT letting him take the cat back. From seeing the animals reaction to him, the fact that he was never neutered or taken to a vet, screams abuse. There are so many other signs as well that he was terrified. Mickey is just a friendly cat, he forgives but doesn't forget. I know the police will be involved, but my dad and I went ahead to the vet to check for a microchip. NO microchip, meaning he never legally belonged to anyone. We got him chipped under our name, got him shots and plan on neutering him very shortly. As well as clearing his ears, since we found out he has mites. After telling the vet Mickey s situation they definitely didn't disagree and went ahead with giving us records. Mickey just loves me to death, there's never a time I don't walk into the room without a slow blink and a roll over. This cat is my little angel, and after realizing what happened, that he was ABUSED, I'm protecting him and giving him the life he deserves. I would like opinions, whether I'm wrong or any advice. I'm just extremely worried and I want to make sure that this is the best thing for ...the cat.

 

[Willowy]

Definitely, no, of course you can't allow an abusive person to take the cat. If they never got his rabies shot or any other vet work done, they have no proof the cat was ever theirs. So it won't go anywhere legally. Just make sure you protect yourself, people like that can be dangerous!

 

[Bre4416]

I'm so glad you got your cat away from these people. I have a cat that we adopted from the SPCA and we suspect that he was also abused. He acted like your poor kitty did. These cats have so much love in their little hearts. They don't deserve to be treated badly. Thank you for saving the innocent baby.

 

[Kieka]

Mickey is legally yours (at least where I am) if you pay for care and food. Once your ex is gone for a month you also have abandonment of property on your side. BUT if you can get letters written and signed by anyone who witnessed the situation and actions of your ex that will help you if he tries. Document it so that if he does try to get Mickey back you have supporting evidence of his prior care. Including any notes your vet made about his condition. Do not respond to texts or emails about Mickey and NEVER acknowledge that he was your exs written or verbally to your ex. Never say anything that could be used as proof of acknowledging Mickey is your ex she property. If pushed say he abandoned "a" cat at your home when he left.

Your ex sounds like he was abusive in general and you are better off without him. Having been there before remember it is not harassment unless you tell him to stop contacting you. If he does after that you take the proof you told him to stop to the police for a restraining order. Guys like will take any tiny opening you give them. But if you make it too hard for them and refuse to give them the attention they want they leave you alone. Don't give him a chance to really hurt you or get Mickey back. Be strong for Mickey.

If it wasn't clear I think you are right.

 

[lalagimp]

Yep. animals are property and if they have no vet records or receipts and he's currently with you and you are providing the care, he's pretty much yours.
the lack of care doesn't scream abuse, but neglect. Everything else you've mentioned of your ex's behavior is what screams abuse. If we have a cat that needs to be quarantined from the run of the house, we actually have a medium-large dog crate that folds down and we just set it up and put supplies in it and do what we need to do.
It sounds like with your love and patience he may not need to spray. Neutering may help curb this behavior, but with our boy Stewart, it did not. He actually developed a habit of spraying when he was about 3 and would not stop until we put him on Prozac. We tried everything including the full $500 workup of tests at the vet to make sure it wasn't medical. He was so persistent that he got my 5 year old cat to start spraying, which we put on Prozac a few months before Stewart. Stew is my boyfriend's cat and he was very reluctant to get him medical treatment until I told him I wasn't going to clean it up anymore. I am totally familiar with having spray on the oven, the countertops, the toaster, the mini blinds, the closet, the dresser, the toilet, the sink, the scratching post, the shoes, the Wii.
Nature's Miracle is a good agent to use to break down the cat spray so it doesn't linger.

I actually took my ex's cats away for about a month. He was hoarding so bad that they weren't even grooming themselves anymore. I reported him to his apartment complex, helped him clean the place up, and told him take a break and if he could keep it up for a few weeks I'd give the twins back. He had this habit of my needing to clean the apartment with him almost weekly, then I stopped doing it and the place ended up with a full solid litter box, 1 foot of trash through it, and a smell that soaked into his skin. Before I saw his place when he asked me to take care of the cats while he visited his mother, I would comment that he smelled funny, and I eventually found out why.

He ended up going back to California for a few months and leaving the twins with a friend. We have a big suspicion the guy watching him was an a hole because afterwards, when you would reach out to pet Ashley, he would cringe really tight. Pretty sure the jerk face hit him. Ashley was pretty rambunctious but you don't deserve that.

 

[shadowplay]

Mickey is lucky to have you. It definitely sounds like your ex was abusive, to people and animals. The records should be on your side, since you are the only on who has taken him to a vet. You could possible file an order of protection against your ex, if you're scared he might come back, but the law should be on your side since you pay for the care of the cat. I hope he has many years with you! Rescued kitties are so loving when they finally find someone who cares.