I Feel That I Have Messed Up Really Badly

[BabyGurl09222017]

So the past 2 days and today my cat has been attacking my feet with out me playing with her and messing with the cords and i have thumped her on the nose a couple of times because i was told a long time ago that it was ok to do and then she started to do it even more and someone told that spanking her was ok so i tried that but it made things worse and now she scratches at mine and my fiances furniture and walls and doors and still attacks my feet and messes with the cords and she runs away from me and hides from me i dont want to scare her or hurt her i just dont want our stuff getting ruined i got her a scratch box and a string to play with but she dont even use those she isnt scared of my fiance she goes up to him and cuddles with him but not me sge runs away from me i have stopped doing what others have told me through friends and family because i thought it was the reason on why she is the way she is towards me now any suggestions to get her from being afraid of me and to trust me again and to get her to stop acting out

 

[catwithmycoffee]

How old is your cat? Is she spayed? Are there other cats in the household? Any recent major changes (new environment, new people in the house, new other pets, etc)?

And FYI, I had great difficulty reading your original post with its lack of punctuation.

 

[mani]

Firstly please understand that disciplining cats just doesn't work. It is counterproductive and will make the matter worse.

Cats And Discipline Don't Mix

5 Reasons To Never Spray Water On Your Cat

The questions catwithmycoffee asked are important, so could you give us more details?

 

[BabyGurl09222017]

How old is your cat? Is she spayed? Are there other cats in the household? Any recent major changes (new environment, new people in the house, new other pets, etc)?

And FYI, I had great difficulty reading your original post with its lack of punctuation.

Sorry for the lack of punctuation i was in special ed through my hole entire schooling but i dont know how old ahe is my fiance was at the gas station one night and on his walk back home she folled him from the gas station to our home and as soon as i opened the door to let him in she ran inside our home she seems young and she doesnt seem spayed because most spayed cats that i have come accross was declawed and she isnt declawed there is no other animals in our home and she tries to go outside but we dont let her because it is cold out and we dont want her to freeze and we havent seen any posters up for a lost cat and we just dont want to get rid of her if she doesnt have a home

 

[mani]

That's great that you want to look after her.. I hope you do!
You'll need to learn a bit about cats though.
Spayed cats are not declawed. In fact declawing is an awful thing to do to a cat.. cruel and counter-productive.

Declawing - More Than Just A Manicure

How long ago did he bring her home?
It's a really good idea to keep her inside. Here's what you do when you bring a new cat home:

The Five Golden Rules To Bringing An Outdoor Cat Inside

First-time Cat Owner's Guide

A vet can check whether she has a microchip which would lead them to the owners. They should do that for free.
If she isn't owned or spayed you will need to do that asap. There may be a low cost spay/neuter clinic near you, if you let us know your general area. And being seen by a vet is important, to check her over.

Please do keep her inside, safe, with a litterbox.

 

[BabyGurl09222017]

We have a litter box and cat food and he brought her home a few weeks ago we try to keep her safe and warm we are trying to find ways to a vet clinic to find things out about her when he first brought her home she seem like she trusted him more and felt safe around him more within the first hour of meeting her so i thought that it was strange for her to only go up to mainly male than female so i kept my distance from her most of the time unless she decides on her own to come to me or sometimes i pick her up to hold her so she dont go outside when my fiance goes outside for a walk sometimes i feel that she was abused by a female before she found us could that be why she acts out towards me more sorry for any confusion i also have expressive reseptive language disorder its where i can say things and you would get confused no matter how hard i try to not confuse you and or you could tell me something so many different ways and i would have a hard time understanding you sometimes i have to tell my doctor to speak to me as if im a fourth grader so i cam understand her if that helps with how to tell me what i need to do with the cat

 

[sabian]

At this point you may want to try scruffing. It's how a mother cat moves and disciplines her kittens. I only use it as a last resort. You can do a google search on "How to scruff a cat" and read some different articles. I found this one doing a quick search. How to Scruff a Cat

 

[BabyGurl09222017]

Ok thank you

 

[catwithmycoffee]

when he first brought her home she seem like she trusted him more and felt safe around him more within the first hour of meeting her so i thought that it was strange for her to only go up to mainly male than female so i kept my distance from her most of the time unless she decides on her own to come to me or sometimes i pick her up to hold her so she dont go outside when my fiance goes outside for a walk sometimes i feel that she was abused by a female before she found us could that be why she acts out towards me more

It could be that is why the cat acts the way she does.
Unfortunately, there's no quick or easy solution to the situation. It's up to the cat whether or not she decides to eventually trust you. All I can personally recommend is a lot of patience.

 

[sabian]

We have a litter box and cat food and he brought her home a few weeks ago we try to keep her safe and warm we are trying to find ways to a vet clinic to find things out about her when he first brought her home she seem like she trusted him more and felt safe around him more within the first hour of meeting her so i thought that it was strange for her to only go up to mainly male than female so i kept my distance from her most of the time unless she decides on her own to come to me or sometimes i pick her up to hold her so she dont go outside when my fiance goes outside for a walk sometimes i feel that she was abused by a female before she found us could that be why she acts out towards me more sorry for any confusion i also have expressive reseptive language disorder its where i can say things and you would get confused no matter how hard i try to not confuse you and or you could tell me something so many different ways and i would have a hard time understanding you sometimes i have to tell my doctor to speak to me as if im a fourth grader so i cam understand her if that helps with how to tell me what i need to do with the cat

You should have her fixed if that is not done. Sometimes cats do prefer male or female company depending on the cat. It's nothing personal more than likely, just their preference.

 

[mani]

OK.. we'll try to be good about the way we describe things.

I would recommend doing the 'good things' with her. Be the one to feed her, for example.
See if she will respond to treats. Get a wavy wand and play with her. You can start to be a 'liked' human that way.

 

[sabian]

OK.. we'll try to be good about the way we describe things.

I would recommend doing the 'good things' with her. Be the one to feed her, for example.
See if she will respond to treats. Get a wavy wand and play with her. You can start to be a 'liked' human that way.

What mani is recommending are all good ideas. I would try playing and treats and all of that. She may not have been properly socialized as a kitten so it may take some work. It makes sense that she would be partial to your fiancé since she did follow him home. Cats can sense when someone is a good person and she obviously had a good feeling about him or she wouldn't have followed him. I would read up on scruffing and be aware that it is an option but, do try other methods as well.

 

[BabyGurl09222017]

Thank you all for your feedback i greatly appreciated it i am going to try to get her into a vet and try some of the thing that you guys have mentioned and i will also do the things that the vet recomends you guys have helped me sooo much

 

[mani]

B BabyGurl09222017 Let us know how you're going.

 

[BabyGurl09222017]

I will post updates as soon as i can get everything done for her that needs to be done

 

[mani]

That's great.. we look forward to hearing more.