I Failed

[6kittymama]

Jcatbird , any thoughts?

You really are doing fine, you know. That's the pattern with ferals...two steps forward, one step back.

I'm waffling about how many carriers to use. How old/big are the kittens, and are they very attached to each other? If they are small, and very bonded, you might actually do better with one large...but that's iffy, with the strain of moving them.

They are around 4 months old? 3 of them stick together and then there is shyboy. But some times they pair up. They all have their spots. Shyboy really relaxed tonight. He came out and joined the party with the other 3 and was really playing with toys tonight. Made me happy. I can literally sit about 12 inches away from him most the time just can't touch him. He lets me stroke him with the feather wand. He took chicken from my fingers tonight.

 

[6kittymama]

OH my! I just found your update thanks to @Mamanyt1953
You have had some great people posting to you here! Again...... you did not fail! These little guys were born and raised to be suspect of everything. It’s a survival thing. You’re doing great and your instincts have been leading you well from the start. Being under pressure from the adoption resources interferes with our instincts.( I have had that happen too) You have always been doing a great job.
Here is my most important and best tip. Use meat babyfood! It’s something that lures the most skittish of babies. I have had my share of shy boys too. Pulled half my hair out! Lol It’s going to be okay. Please try warm meat baby food on a dish for all. Put it down and sit with them while they eat. If shy boy is scared, let him get some without you once or twice to get him hooked. You may have to keep the other three from eating it all by shutting them in the carrier with a plate of it and a second plate for shy boy. Once shy boy is hooked on it you can distract the others by letting them lick some off your fingers while shy boy eats off his plate. If necessary have a plate for the tamer three in your lap. Let them climb all over you and keep them distracted to let shy boy eat. Slowly move the plate for shy boy closer to you but don’t push yourself on him at first. Over time move the plate close to you. Eventually put all food in your lap and let shy boy eat it in peace. Don’t move at all. Once he eats there you can begin to touch him. Get him to eat facing away from your hand and sneak a pet in. Stroke him where he cannot see it is you touching him. He will probably notice at some point it is you and may run away. That’s okay and expected. Just stay still and see if he comes back. If not, let him finish further away but repeat the process at each feeding. I think you will be surprised that he will accept your touch in order to eat the babyfood. He may not love it at first but once they understand you are giving something that feels good, like a mother’s touch, they begin to relax. Remember they are afraid of being attacked in the wild! This may end up being the most adoring kitten of the bunch. My guess is that this is the smartest of the litter. I’d like you to meet Whistle. One of a litter of four, I struggled for weeks to catch them. A feral Mom had abandoned them out of fear of predators. I could not gain the trust of the kittens. I spent many weeks on my knees and even laying down to hide in the grass to try and lure them into a carrier or trap. They were starving but still resisted me. Finally I could get all but one. Whistle. He was the shy boy. Terrified boy. I did eventually catch them and bring them in but Whistle still mistrusted and hissed at or swatted me. Two of the litter tamed fairly quickly. They went for adoption first. Banjo and Whistle were harder. Banjo tamed but Whistle still held out. I did what I just told you to do. He would not come near me at first. He hid. He was one of the most challenging of the kittens I have had. He did not want to trust me. His instincts were fight or flight.
Look below for the results.

In my lap!
View attachment 265874
Begging me for babyfood and in my living room with other cats!
View attachment 265875
He took over my spot on the sofa and I could swear he is smiling.
View attachment 265876
Sometimes I felt like I was failing the whole litter. Then it was that I was failing Whistle. In the end, they all became loving kittens. Whistle became a total lap kitten! More than the other three put together. He needed a Mom more than the rest did. I even caught his real Mom later on and she is now with me being socialized. I just got her to snuggle me in my lap recently. It takes time and we do have setbacks. Use the babyfood. You can get their trust and use it to get them used to a carrier as well. My personal experience leads me to get them to trust me first, carrier second. A carrier is a good secondary feeding spot ( lap first until tame) and once feeding is finished, a good bed. I make the carriers their safe spot. This makes trips to any place less scary as they take their safe spot with them. If kittens are bonded to each other they make want the comfort of siblings during travel. If they tend to fight, separation during travel may be better. First, just focus on socializing. One thing at a time. If you can handle them, they will trust other things you do with them much more. You will be their second momma. Please stop thinking you have failed them. You’re doing wonderful things with them. We all learn as we go. I learn from every kitty that comes across my path. I don’t think you will end up with any of these kittens. ( Unless Shy boy just won’t get out of your lap!)
Before you try travel with them I can offer some things that helped me with transporting but right now, please know, you’re making a lot of progress. Feel free to message or tag me anytime for any reason. I know getting the support of the others here has helped me so I would like to do the same. Thank you catsknowme and Mamanyt1953 for giving me a chance to read this post and offer what the cats have taught me.

Thank you! I have been giving them baby food all along. I have been adding it to their food actually. They do like it. So far have only given them the chicken and turkey. Was wondering about the beef and ham ones? Do kitties like those flavors? Also been serving it at room temp. Is warm better and more appealing to them? So far I have had to bring shyboy his plate. He scoots out to the edge of his safe spot and waits. He lets me put the plate right in front of him. The other 3 climb all over me to get their plates so I can just set those down and they eat. After everyone eats the playing starts and after watching for a bit shy boy has been coming out and playing too. Tonight was the most playful I have ever seen him actually. He really let himself relax and just played with the other kitties and the scattered toys. I am going to try your tips tomorrow and will let you know how it goes.
Thank you Jcatbird and thank you all for your support and encouragement!

 

[catsknowme]

As always, Jcatbird has great answers - thank you to Mamanyt1953 for alerting her to this thread
6kittymama : Awesome progress! I find that my cats & kittens prefer warmed up wet food, especially the baby food. And beef is an excellent choice as well - my vet recommends the chicken or the beef during times of recovering from digestive issues (you can add the thick liquid from boiling plain WHITE rice during bouts of diarrhea). I feed the ham and turkey for ordinary feedings.
Thank you for the updates

 

[Jcatbird]

Hey! Thank you catsknowme I just repeat what the kitties have shown me. Lol They are great teachers.
I agree that warm food entices them a little more. It makes the food smell stronger.
6kittymama Yay!!!!!! Progress already!
Shy boy is beginning to calm down. Playing is a very good indicator that he is feeling more secure. Before you know it you’ll get to touch him. Did I mention that some kitties love being brushed? Not all do but that has made some think that petting feels extra good and then they allowed me to touch them. I just brushed and stuck a finger out from the handle so they didn’t realize at first that something besides the brush was touching them. Sneaky, I know. Whatever works though. I am thrilled to hear your latest news. I had every confidence that you would soon have Shy boy eating out of your hands. Kittens are so great! Shy boy is a smart one. He has been very cautious because he is smart but also he is understanding that you are one of the good guys! Smart kitty! I feel privileged to be able to give you some support. It’s not every day that I meet someone who does what you are doing. I am grateful to you.