I Don't Pick Up My Cats

[rechoub]

This may sound strange, but I don't pick my cats up.
I have had my two girls since they were born. Approx. 6 1/2 years. They are sisters.
They snuggle with me all the time... my black cat actually bugs me to go to bed so she can tuck herself in with me... you know you are a cat lady when the only spooning you do is with your cats lol.
But... she hates to be picked up.

My grey tabby, who is a complete mush, will let me pick her up and put her on my lap, but she only sits there for a minute before jumping off.

They are both incredibly affectionate, and I adore them both. They sit on either side of me on the couch and snuggle, but if I pick one up to move them to my lap they jump off the couch.

How would I go about teaching them to be picked up?

Thanks

 

[Blakeney Green]

This probably isn't what you want to hear, but some cats just don't like that and never will. As long as they're docile enough about it that you could handle them in an emergency where you had to pick them up, I would just provide affection on their own terms rather than pushing them to accept being held.

 

[Ardina]

Cats are certainly trainable. Yes, some cats will only tolerate it, while others will love it and demand to be picked up. When Saipha was a kitten, she would scratch and bite when picked up, so I trained her to tolerate it in case of emergency. And funnily enough, now she asks to be picked up and immediately starts purring and bunting when I do.

So here's how I did it (do short 5 min sessions/day and make sure to move on to the next step only when she's completely fine with previous one):
1) Start slow - place a hand under her, gently apply some upward pressure, and give her a treat.
2) Move on to increasing the pressure and using a second hand (first hand behind the front legs, second hand in front of the hind legs). Keep rewarding with treats.
3) Now gently lift her an inch and immediately place her back down. Reward with treats if she doesn't scratch/bite/etc.
4) Lift her a few inches and move her a foot away. Continue rewarding
5) Now start increasing the height. Sit on the floor and move her from floor to your lap. Then from floor to low chair. From floor to coffee table. From floor to higher table.
6) Now instead of immediately releasing her, hold her for a second or two before letting her go.
7) Increase the amount of time you hold her. If she starts panicking, let her go. If she's just squirming, don't reward her by letting her go! Wait until she's calm, and then let her go so she learns that not resisting is the quickest way down.
8) Keep increasing the time to a minute or two. You can start walking around the house with her.

Other tips:
- Make sure to use small pieces of treats - they can easily get full and stop responding.
- It helps to have a second set of hands to give the treats while you're lifting her.
- Make sure to lift and lower her slowly and gently. Cats struggle if they don't feel secure and think that you're going to drop them. Initially, it may help to just get her used to the lifting and release her onto the table/chair/whatever. Then work on lowering after she's comfortable.
- Figure out the position that makes her most comfortable. Saipha likes being draped over one shoulder with an arm supporting her bottom. Others like being held like babies. Always brace them against your chest, whether it's the cat's side or back.

And that's it! Good luck!

 

[Gizmobius]

I think it helps to begin them on it when they're kittens. My previous cat who I had adopted was 4 when I got her and she never quite warmed up to me picking her up. She'd allow it, but only for a couple minutes and only if I flipped her onto her back once she was in my arms. My cat now, I adopted him when he was 10 weeks old and picked him up constantly. I even had relatives and friends who stopped over pick him up so he'd get used to it. He doesn't mind being picked up now. I think it just depends on the age and if they can learn to understand that it's normal.

 

[catlover73]

Some cats just do not like to be picked up. My 7 year old Sonny is very affectionate but he does not like to be held. I got him when he was under a year old and he did not like it then. My 3 1/2 year old Casey will let me pick him up off the floor and put him in my lap but will not let me carry him around. Apollo our 4 1/2 year old is daddy’s kid and will only let hubby pick him up. Starbuck is 10 years old and I can pick her up to take her to bed or bring her down stairs to the couch with me. My hubby can pick-up Starbuck and hold her like a baby while she grooms his face. Starbuck was adopted at 6 weeks old and was picked up a lot as a baby. She does not allow me to pick her up and carry her around for more than a few minutes.

 

[marvel7703]

I have a cat that is the same way. He loves to snuggle and is very affectionate, but he HATES to be picked up. He has always been this way, and I think that is just the way some cats are. I know that isn't exactly what you want to hear and that isn't very much help, but that is my experience anyway. Anything we have ever done to try and change this behavior hasn't worked.

 

[kashmir64]

I also agree that some cats just don't want to be picked up or even held. My two kittens, sisters, I've had since they were 10 days old. One of them will snuggle up to me, lie on my lap and sleep in my bed, but don't try to pick her up and hold her. About 5 seconds after you try, there is blood, and it's yours.
The other one follows me around and squeaks for me to pick her up. I think she would jump into my arms if I let her. She is also a cuddle bug and sleeps curled in my arms at night. (at least she's moved off my face). I just accept that's how they are. Everyone (even animals) have different personalities.

 

[rechoub]

Thank you so much everyone for your responses. I let someone get in my head, and I should have just trusted the relationship I have with my cats.

 

[rechoub]

This probably isn't what you want to hear, but some cats just don't like that and never will. As long as they're docile enough about it that you could handle them in an emergency where you had to pick them up, I would just provide affection on their own terms rather than pushing them to accept being held.

This is exactly what I wanted to hear, because someone made me feel like I was a bad cat owner because I don't pick them up all the time. I have always provided affection on their own terms, and you helped validate the fact that there is nothing wrong with it. Thank you!

 

[Yanaka]

One of my kittens (three months and a half, now) is starting to tolerate being picked up and sometimes asks for me to do so, so she can lounge on my lap (pretty rare), but as soon as I start manipulating her paws or whatever she panics. I wish I knew how to go about teaching her to at least be less brutal when I handle her, because she's really very upset and scared when I just want to clip her claws

 

[rechoub]

One of my kittens (three months and a half, now) is starting to tolerate being picked up and sometimes asks for me to do so, so she can lounge on my lap (pretty rare), but as soon as I start manipulating her paws or whatever she panics. I wish I knew how to go about teaching her to at least be less brutal when I handle her, because she's really very upset and scared when I just want to clip her claws

I have never trimmed my cat's claws - they are 6. I definitely monitor their claws, but they have never become ingrown or curled. They have lots of scratching posts, have never clawed any of my furniture, or me.

I really like the method that Ardina posted above for training cats to be picked up and held.

 

[danteshuman]

My cat Dante doesn't like being picked up. He does tolerate it though. However for affection he often just wants to be on me, not petted. So I respect his space. I do clip his claws though.... Dante is a total lap cat.

 

[raysmyheart]

You certainly have the right approach R rechoub , letting the cat decide when it wants to be held. My Speedy is super-sweet and affectionate and very cuddly but does not care to be picked up, so I just don't do it that much. Just think if someone wrapped their arms around us, and swooped us up in the air, we may get a little surprised and say "put me down". I think cats are just as surprised. If I do pick up my cat, I let her down as soon as she wants to go.

 

[Yanaka]

I have never trimmed my cat's claws - they are 6. I definitely monitor their claws, but they have never become ingrown or curled. They have lots of scratching posts, have never clawed any of my furniture, or me.

I really like the method that Ardina posted above for training cats to be picked up and held.

I do it because they get stuck to fabric and i don’t want them to get hurt when I’m not around. Them getting fleece or whatever wrapped around a claw and they try to pull themselves away is one of my biggest fears for kitties.