I don't know what is wrong with this cat

[fireguy]

My wife and I have taken in two rescue cats.

We took in the first cat in 2005. He is a Maine Coon, and was 7 years old when we got him. The local shelter was getting ready to put him down, because the previous owners said that he was mean to the other animals in the house. He has turned into the neediest, most loving pet I have ever seen. It doesn't hurt that it appears that he has chosen me to be his pet human. He gets along with us fine, and we have not seen much from him, as far as being more than mildly territorial to the other cat.

The second cat, who is a calico persian, we adopted in 2007. The shelter had caught her as a stray, and they believed her to be 2 years old at the time. She is a bundle of every cat behavior problem there is, and I am convinced that she hates me. She has urinated on three couches in the past three years, to the point where they have had to be replaced because they were so pungent, and uncleanable (even by professional furniture cleaners). If I leave any of my (and only my) clothes lying about, she will urinate on them as well.

She is scared of me and runs away when I enter the room, and hides from me under furniture if she cannot escape. She will take food from my hand, but is very skittish while doing so. If I try to pet her, she will allow it if someone brings her to me, or if I corner her, and she even purrs, but will also frequently scratch and bite me, even while purring. Sometimes she will attack me if I just look at her.

She constantly scratches at doors, and cannot stand to see a closed door, but only inside doors, and will not go outside. She constantly meows at night, as if she is searching for someone.

I know this is a stressed cat, but I cannot figure out why. The vet says she is healthy. Interestingly, when we were at the vet, she clung to me for protection. I don't want to giver her back to the shelter, because they will put her down. Can anyone give me some insight here?

 

[howtoholdacat]

It's hard to know what happened in her past since she was a rescue. Maybe someone abused her and you remind her of them? Have you tried adding Feliway to your house? It may not solve all the problems but it would be a good first step.

 

[hissy]

If you wish to make grounds with this cat, then stop forcing yourself on her.

Ignore her. See to her needs, set up a routine with her- food and water at the same times every day. Litter pan cleanup same way. Let her understand that she is NO longer important, but her NEEDS are. Don't corner her to "pet" her- don't pick her up, just ignore her. Make no direct eye contact with her, keep your stress level down- don't make major changes. Cats who pee on soft things are seldom ill, they are however stressed so that can lead to larger health issues. She pees on your items because she is stressed- her urine combined with your smell will calm her down- although I doubt that has the same effect on you.

Cats rarely"hate" people unless that individual is out to do them damage. They may avoid those they are not comfortable with-if you are trying to make direct eye contact with her, this can put her on edge. You never want to make direct eye contact with any stray cat. Stop expecting her to behave or perform as if she is a normal domesticated cat- she isn't. God only knows what she has been through and if she could talk, you would likely cry to hear her story. Just flat ignore her and watch her quickly turn this around and make contact with you. I also would strongly advise against bringing another cat into your home, or you might have a major kitty war going on.

Good luck-

 

[momofmany]

First of all, welcome to The Cat Site! I live with 10 cats and have to take extra measures to make everyone in my house comfortable. So while you keep that in mind, also realize that there isn't much behavior that I haven't seen over the years.

Your girl's behavior is not unique, but from what you describe, it sounds like something is stressing her. I'm not sure that anyone can solve your problem, but we can throw out some ideas for you to see if they help.

First of all, she is a calico. That makes her a tri-color cat and some people here will attest that tri-colors, sometimes called torties, have what they call "tortitude". They often have minds of their own and don't always respond like what people would expect of a "normal" cat (if there is such a thing as a normal cat). Not all tri-colors have tortitude, but you may have some of that going on with her.

She was rescued from the streets, and you have no idea what life she led before she came into your life. If she had been abused by a man in her previous life, she might simply have an aversion to men. But while at the vet, you were the only thing that she knew so she could easily cling to you then. That doesn't surprise me at all.

I have cats that will pee on things left on the floor. All I can say is don't leave things on the floor. Some cats cling so hard to routine that even something simple as clothing left out when it normally isn't there is enough to trigger a bit of stress and one release for stress is to pee on them.

Many cats will adopt their "person" and don't want anything to do with anyone else. After about 12 years of living with us, one of my cats stepped on my husbands lap one night. Husband let out a "holy cow" at that one. I am the cat mom in my household and the majority of my cats have chosen me over my husband. He just accepts it for what it is. The cats accept him because he accepts them as my cats and doesn't force himself on any of them that prefer me.

Some of my cats flea from my husband every time he enters a room. Part of my theory on this is that he is much taller than I and walks with a loud gait. It scares some of them. Some cats get stressed by anything taller than them. Try sitting on the floor at her level to see if she approaches you then. My cats approach my husband when he is sitting still.

Do you have a solid routine with her? By that I mean do you feed her at the same times each day? Refill her water bowls at same time? Have designated play times? Do you have regular work hours where you are away each day? Some cats simply stress from lack of routine. Does the same person feed her each day and are you the one that does that (she might bond to you more if you are her "chef"). This may sound odd, but my cats are so into their routine that if my husband steps in to feed them their 8PM meal, some of them won't eat because I wasn't the one giving it to them.

For urination problems, it sounds like you've ruled out health issues with your vet. Look at your litter boxes. The rule of thumb is that you have 1 box per cat plus an extra box (so you need 3). Some cats will not pee and poop in the same box - it's their nature in the wild. If they are all covered boxes, take the lid off at least 1 of them as some cats hate covered boxes. If you do not regularly disinfect the boxes or replace them (urine smells will embed into plastic), you need to start doing this on a regular basis. I have 2 sets of boxes and make sure they are completely changed out at least once a month. Lastly, look at your litter. I will absolutely swear by Cat Attract litter - it has an earthy smell that draws cats to the box. I had a boy that for 12 years liked to pee in sinks (could have been worse spots). He stopped doing it the day I started to use Cat Attract. I was very glad to quit "flushing the sinks".

For cleaning urine spots, professional cleaners won't work unless they are using a good enzymatic cleaner to neutralize the odor. I've never found a cleaning service that uses these products. While you may not notice the urine smell after it was cleaned, unless it was neutralized, your cat will smell it and return there over and over. Of all the products out there, the one that I find works best is Nok Out (only available online - google it). You must saturate the place that they peed to get it into the cushions, or if it is on carpet, it must go through the pad and into the wood sub floor. If you don't get it out on the first try, you have to repeat the dosage.

Do any of these ideas help?

 

[fireguy]

1. Tried Feliway. Didn't work.

2. I have tried ignoring her AND paying attention to her. I will admit that ignoring her works better.

3. She only urinates on my clothes, not my wife's.

4. If I make eye contact or come near her, her pupils dilate, and her tail goes down. Sometimes if I am feeding her or petting her, her eyes return to normal, but she remains very nervous.

5. No solid routine. I am a firefighter, I work one 24 hour day, off two. We went on a 14 day cruise last year, and my son came by to take care of them. When we got back, she was very friendly for about a month, then back to normal.

6. No covers on the litter boxes.

7. The cats appear to have divided the house into zones. One room for each cat exclusively, and the rest of the house appears to be neutral ground.

 

[salsero71]

Firstly I have to say, good on ya for making the efforts you have done so far!! Judging from above you've put in a lot of energy into trying to accommodate this very nervous cat.

From my brief study of behavioural psychology (which applies equally well to children and animals) I would like to throw in my 'two cents worth'.

I know you say you've tried both ignoring her and paying attention. But judging by that, it sounds like by trying both strategies, you haven't been consistent enough, for long enough, to allow any positive change to come about. I'd suggest sticking with the ignoring strategy for at least 6 months. It took my timid cat well over a year to relax around me...and now she's the more affectionate of the two!

I deffo found that ignoring Shadow worked better at letting her adjust to me in her own time frame. I'd agree with hissy about that...let her come to you, don't make eye contact, and don't force the petting on her. (I've read that cats purr as a way to calm themselves down, so don't assume if your cat's purring when ur petting her, that it's because she likes it).

The best of luck with her, hope your efforts are eventually rewarded!!

 

[sk_pacer]

An odd thought - perhaps it is some lingering odour from the fire hall that bothers her. I used to work with a firefighter sometimes - he was a relief bartender where I worked, and he had an odd smokey smell to him most of the time and it was his clothes as his jacked reeked, even in a smoke filled bar that reeked of stale beer and cigar and pipe smoke. Perhaps you can change detergents and use an enzyme cleaner in the wash water; it might work and change clothing before you get properly in the house (mud room, laundry room) and dump the offending clothing straight into a solid style hamper or even into a garbage bag to contain the smell.

 

[otto]

Originally Posted by sk_pacer

An odd thought - perhaps it is some lingering odour from the fire hall that bothers her. I used to work with a firefighter sometimes - he was a relief bartender where I worked, and he had an odd smokey smell to him most of the time and it was his clothes as his jacked reeked, even in a smoke filled bar that reeked of stale beer and cigar and pipe smoke. Perhaps you can change detergents and use an enzyme cleaner in the wash water; it might work and change clothing before you get properly in the house (mud room, laundry room) and dump the offending clothing straight into a solid style hamper or even into a garbage bag to contain the smell.

I was thinking along the same lines here. Also was going to ask if you wear heavy boots in the house, or walk heavily.

Don't give up so easily on the feliway. You need one plug in diffuser for every 400 feet of space, and they take time to take effect.

some Rescue Remedy would not be out of line either.

Welcome to TCS and thank you for caring so much about this special needs kitty. Keep us posted.

 

[otto]

I just thought of something. Do you have a tall cat tree? Or some other height that she can get up to? Cats feel more secure if they can be up high and see what's going on.

 

[otto]

Me again

Someone in another forum just posted this link to an article that may have some ideas for you. I thought of you as soon as I saw the thread!

http://www.pawnation.com/2010/04/21/...cid=webmaildl5

 

[fireguy]

We have a tall tree, but the Maine Coon has claimed it as his own. Thanks to all, I will keep you posted. If you have any more ideas, feel free to throw them this way.

 

[otto]

Originally Posted by fireguy

We have a tall tree, but the Maine Coon has claimed it as his own. Thanks to all, I will keep you posted. If you have any more ideas, feel free to throw them this way.

Then you need another, for her. Build one, or buy one, or clear off a high bookshelf, and give her a way to access it, this cat needs her own elevated space.

 

[fifi1puss]

The clothing idea is interesting. I like that it is also an easy thing to modify, if it works would be so easy to keep doing....

I also thought the insight into her mixing her scent with yours makes sense. So, how do you get her to not be stressed by you??

I also wonder if because the Maine claimed you as his she sees you as a united pair and is stressed by this. Two strong forces against one that may not feel so strong.

I also agree that since you said they sort of have rooms they "claimed" as their own you should get a tree that can be hers. Evidently their own personal space is very important to them both and her not having a vertical space of her own can be adding to the pressure and stress she feels. I am not sure if it would help having the tree in her space she claimed or in neutral territory so she can feel more secure around everyone. Something that would need to be played with.

All my rescues took at least a year to fully come out of their shell and I made sure to go at their pace in building a relationship and also tried to be attune to what sorts of needs were manifesting themselves. I don't think she will ever be an outgoing cat. But by ignoring her as the other poster suggested and attending to her needs I believe you will see her giving you little signs of acceptance and even love. Maybe just by being comfortable enough to lounge next to you on the couch.

I am really glad you haven't given up on her. She just sounds really insecure not like she is a bad cat. I hope some of these suggestions can be helpful.

 

[zuma-xo]

I had a cat like this once, a female long haired cat named Emma. She was like this for almost a full year and then over the course of a week, just snapped out of it.

She was still nervous about somethings (if we vaccumed in the house, she'd pee herself and sometimes vomit) and if we changed around the furniture, she'd lose her mind, but she started to like people she seen on a regular bases. Never strangers though.

I agree with the suggestion of keeping her in a routine if you can. Do not talk to her when you come in the house right away, go about your business and then talk to her in passing. Avoid direct eye contact and start everything off with food. For some reason, food is a real winner haha.

Do you touch other cats while you are gone? My cat Thomas will bite me and chase me down to bite me if I smell like another cat. He really hates that as well as the smell of alcohol. If I have a drink, he can smell it on me and will bite me. Cats can be finicky about some crazy things haha. If I touch another cat or have a drink when I go out, I have to shower right away and put my clothes in the washer or else he'll pee on them haha.