- Joined
- Sep 14, 2012
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Hi
My cat Charlie is white Persian. 4 yo who has been with us for 3 weeks due to his last owner moving away.
I have several problems and issues with him.
I have to mention first that I am absolutely a cat lover. Had a cat for 7 years and loved him to pieces. He dies 8 years ago and it still hurts to think about him.
The other thing is Charlie was often neglected emotionally in his previous home. He was well fed and medically cared for but was never petted or hugged or anything. It was a family of four: dad, mom, 9 and 1 yo daughters. So he was nobody's cat really, Just a family cat/piece of furniture to them.
This family is my relative so whenever I visited I felt so sorry for Charlie and really wished they would give it to me when they moved away so I could give him a better life. Which they did , but it seems I can't.
Charlie is very reserved. He sleeps 20 hours a day at least and likes to lay in covered areas: under coffe tables , under the sheets... He is absolutely not playful. I've bought and made several toys for him which he doesn't touch. He doesn't touch his scratching board.
He never lets us pick him up or hold him and we never do unless its for cleaning his eyes or doing some other nasty thing to him.
All our waking hours he's sleeping and when we go to bed he yells for us to come back. He yells in the morning or the middle of the night if we get up to go to the bathroom although I've scheduled his feeding so he's not hungry then.
I can't connect to him in any way. He doesn't do any cat things. My husband has also lived in a household with cats throughout his life and this cat is nothing like what we've seen.
He is extremely depressed and dispirited all the time. There is no cheering him up unless he does some forbidden thing like sit on the kitchen counter.
I'm at a loss and am running out of patience with him. I know for a fact that my husband secretly regrets adopting him. The lack of quality sleep for this long , added to the fact that he brings us no sense of fulfillment or joy , is very fussy about food and makes me throw away tens of dollars worth of cat food every week and that he is white and long haired and flat faced and keeps getting himself dirty and needs lots of maintenence is wearing my patience thin. By the way I gladly do all the grooming and work but I wish I got some sort of loving feeling from him to see me through the day. I wish I could get a good night's sleep. I wish I didn't have to face my husband every time Charlie messes up and see it in his eyes that he is wishing for me to give up on Charlie too.
Also , the last stroke was that I have discovered he is a liar and a fraud. He is very well behaved when we are around and doesn't go near the things and places he shouldn't. But once or twice I've caught him in the middle of the night when he thinks we won't be coming out of the bedroom, in the very places he never goes near during the day. I've found out that he cheats us and goes wherever he shouldn't while we're not there. This really broke my heart.. I don't know what they used to do to him as punishment but it has driven him into this fraud and it upsets me. I really value honesty in people and I don't see why a cat should be such a cheat. None of our cats ever were.
My old cat who died was so cute , so lovely , so spoilt I let him do whatever he wanted because he was worth it. I avoided getting a cat for 8 years because I couldn't go through with the pain of the loss again , but now I feel like I can't let myself like Charlie maybe because I'm scared of being hurt again. And he is not helpng either.
Please tell me what to do. I need for us to love eachother or I can't take it much longer.
My cat Charlie is white Persian. 4 yo who has been with us for 3 weeks due to his last owner moving away.
I have several problems and issues with him.
I have to mention first that I am absolutely a cat lover. Had a cat for 7 years and loved him to pieces. He dies 8 years ago and it still hurts to think about him.
The other thing is Charlie was often neglected emotionally in his previous home. He was well fed and medically cared for but was never petted or hugged or anything. It was a family of four: dad, mom, 9 and 1 yo daughters. So he was nobody's cat really, Just a family cat/piece of furniture to them.
This family is my relative so whenever I visited I felt so sorry for Charlie and really wished they would give it to me when they moved away so I could give him a better life. Which they did , but it seems I can't.
Charlie is very reserved. He sleeps 20 hours a day at least and likes to lay in covered areas: under coffe tables , under the sheets... He is absolutely not playful. I've bought and made several toys for him which he doesn't touch. He doesn't touch his scratching board.
He never lets us pick him up or hold him and we never do unless its for cleaning his eyes or doing some other nasty thing to him.
All our waking hours he's sleeping and when we go to bed he yells for us to come back. He yells in the morning or the middle of the night if we get up to go to the bathroom although I've scheduled his feeding so he's not hungry then.
I can't connect to him in any way. He doesn't do any cat things. My husband has also lived in a household with cats throughout his life and this cat is nothing like what we've seen.
He is extremely depressed and dispirited all the time. There is no cheering him up unless he does some forbidden thing like sit on the kitchen counter.
I'm at a loss and am running out of patience with him. I know for a fact that my husband secretly regrets adopting him. The lack of quality sleep for this long , added to the fact that he brings us no sense of fulfillment or joy , is very fussy about food and makes me throw away tens of dollars worth of cat food every week and that he is white and long haired and flat faced and keeps getting himself dirty and needs lots of maintenence is wearing my patience thin. By the way I gladly do all the grooming and work but I wish I got some sort of loving feeling from him to see me through the day. I wish I could get a good night's sleep. I wish I didn't have to face my husband every time Charlie messes up and see it in his eyes that he is wishing for me to give up on Charlie too.
Also , the last stroke was that I have discovered he is a liar and a fraud. He is very well behaved when we are around and doesn't go near the things and places he shouldn't. But once or twice I've caught him in the middle of the night when he thinks we won't be coming out of the bedroom, in the very places he never goes near during the day. I've found out that he cheats us and goes wherever he shouldn't while we're not there. This really broke my heart.. I don't know what they used to do to him as punishment but it has driven him into this fraud and it upsets me. I really value honesty in people and I don't see why a cat should be such a cheat. None of our cats ever were.
My old cat who died was so cute , so lovely , so spoilt I let him do whatever he wanted because he was worth it. I avoided getting a cat for 8 years because I couldn't go through with the pain of the loss again , but now I feel like I can't let myself like Charlie maybe because I'm scared of being hurt again. And he is not helpng either.
Please tell me what to do. I need for us to love eachother or I can't take it much longer.