I feel for you. When we brought in the mom & kittens that were born under our neighbor's deck - we had her spayed but so feral she had to be released as a TNR feral. We did bring the kittens in and socialize them (through a slllloooooooowwwww process). But the poor mom cat (we call her "Maddie") cried horribly for almost 2 full nights. It was so gutwrenching that both made myself and my husband very tempted to release the kittens back out. The only reason in the end that we didn't was it was a Friday when we released her so we couldn't take the kittens in until that Monday to be spayed/neutered before releasing. And by Monday - she'd stopped howling and searching. But oh my lord - that was awful to listen to! I felt so bad!!!
But in the long run - it worked out so well. Each of the three kittens found wonderful homes.
And I can also attest to the fact that kittens in particular are very forgiving. That last set I described - they didn't get set back too far after their first vet visit. I too was really worried about that. And I feel like it might have set things back a day or so. But within a few days they were back to where they'd started when they left.
I'm going through the same "drive yourself crazy" trying to decide -we've got a teeny little 10 month old kitten that we TNR'd last fall - but for some reason, a few weeks ago (after refusing to get any closer than 20 or 30 feet away) she walked right up, took chicken from my hand, and in an hour she was on my lap purring! But now I have to decide how i want to do things...and like you, worry about which step to do when.
I'm sure they'll be absolutely fine after the vet visit. One trick - cover the cat carrier with large towels/blanket --something to make it more "cave like". They'll get a lot less stressed if covered.
And hopefully you can get momma cat somehow and spay her - because any day now (or even already) she'll be able to get pregnant again.
Keep us all posted!
But in the long run - it worked out so well. Each of the three kittens found wonderful homes.
And I can also attest to the fact that kittens in particular are very forgiving. That last set I described - they didn't get set back too far after their first vet visit. I too was really worried about that. And I feel like it might have set things back a day or so. But within a few days they were back to where they'd started when they left.
I'm going through the same "drive yourself crazy" trying to decide -we've got a teeny little 10 month old kitten that we TNR'd last fall - but for some reason, a few weeks ago (after refusing to get any closer than 20 or 30 feet away) she walked right up, took chicken from my hand, and in an hour she was on my lap purring! But now I have to decide how i want to do things...and like you, worry about which step to do when.
I'm sure they'll be absolutely fine after the vet visit. One trick - cover the cat carrier with large towels/blanket --something to make it more "cave like". They'll get a lot less stressed if covered.
And hopefully you can get momma cat somehow and spay her - because any day now (or even already) she'll be able to get pregnant again.
Keep us all posted!