I adopted a tomcat 10 days ago but house is still chaotic!

[caro]

Any advice very welcome!

My tomcat Stan is now with us about 10 days and mixing with the 2 girls while we are at work then supervised in the evenings and put in his bedroom at night (because we need our sleep!). It's actually going OK. He is not aggressive but Henrietta is! She hisses and lashes out if he gets close and he just wants to play or cuddle. yesterday I came home and the 2 of them were on the bed together, granted, about a meter from each other but looked fine and relaxed...then later she smacked him again cos he passed by too close. I feel so sorry for him as he is very sweet and I also feel Henrietta's stress as she is very sulky and grumpy. The other female Polly seems Ok and has been playing a bit with him and following him around but also looks quite stressed when he is playing rough by himself and galloping around.

Is there anything I can do to ease the relationship between Stan and Henrietta or will he learn to stay away form her? I am terrified he might retaliate some day

caro

 

[orientalslave]

10 days is not a long time for an adult cat to settle in - it took one of mine several years plus the demise of one of my other cats!  Most of the time the two simply avoided each other but I did see some clear threat displays off and on.  However so far as I know they never came to blows.

Are they all neutered?

 

[caro]

Hi there

thanks for the response. yes they are all neutered and I have installed a Feliway plug in where the 2 ladies mostly sit. On the one hand it could be much worse - as far as I know there have been no attacks, except when Henrietta smacks him! When they are all tired it is very harmonious, all curled up and asleep but when he is active and running around the girls get nervous. Polly wants to play but then when he joins in she gets scared. I saw her run from him today but she didn't have a fat tail and only ran half a meter then started to follow him! Henri just gets up high and sits and glares furiously at him!

I suppose I have to relax and give it time.

caro

 

[sevenwonders]

True, ten days is not that long. We've had an 8 mo old feral kitten in the house for about 3 weeks, and he still has to stay in the Master Suite when we are away from home. In your case, I think Henrietta needs some positive reinforcement when Stan is nearby. Treats, petting and praise for both of them will help - you want her to associate "Good things" with Stan. Eventually, she will get used to him. In the meantime, if you fear for either cats' safety, I'd consider isolating him when you are away from the house. Please keep us posted!

 

[momofmany]

Henrietta sounds like she has been the alpha cat and is now trying to make sure that your Stan understands it. Ten days is a very short time for cats to adjust to each other. It actually sounds like things are going relatively smoothly for you already. Separate them while you are away if you have any fears at all about their safety and time will work it out.