How to train a Velcro cat? I'm losing my mind.

[BlueRaccoon]

So I know this may upset some people, but I'm trying to do my best with the situation, so please be kind. I have a cat that is obsessed with being on my lap. I've owned him since 1.5 months old, and he is 9 now. I can't take it anymore. Between struggling with health issues, stress, and very young children who already hang on me all day, I can't handle him on me all day. It's is physically and psychologically overwhelming. It's not that I don't want him on me at all, but I can't take it 100% of the time. How can I teach him to stay off unless asked? Or at least respond the first time when I put him down. He just doesn't stop no matter how many times I put him down. I do not want to rehome him, but it is so stressful, it's crossed my mind. Please, please, please help me figure out how to change this behavior for my sanity and his well-being. Thanks.

 

[Norachan]

Is he an only cat? Cats love to snuggle up to other animals or people to share body heat, even when it's warm outside. If you don't have any other pets that he gets on well with try getting him a heated pad or bed and put that on your sofa. I used to have a little electric carpet for one of my cats and she barely ever left it.

 

[BlueRaccoon]

Is he an only cat? Cats love to snuggle up to other animals or people to share body heat, even when it's warm outside. If you don't have any other pets that he gets on well with try getting him a heated pad or bed and put that on your sofa. I used to have a little electric carpet for one of my cats and she barely ever left it.

Thank you. I have thought about the bed idea on the couch. He actually has a non-biological 'sister', lol, that he adores. They are 6 months apart in age, and have been together for the last 9 years. He snuggles her, but he prefers me. I guess I should be honored, lol.

 

[neely]

I guess I should be honored, lol.

Yes, consider it an honor. Cats choose their people and he obviously adores you. Perhaps you can try distracting him with an interactive toy like this one recommended by one of our members for her cat: Amazon.com
TCS also has an Article about toys for lazy cats but I think they would intrigue any cat into playing:
17 Best Toys For Lazy Cats - TheCatSite

 

[Alldara]

Whew! Clingy cat and small children. That can certainly be a sensory overload.

Is there a safe game the children can distract him with? My mum used to take those large 1 or 2 inch wide ribbons and tie a bunch of knots on both ends. Then she would let my sister run around with it trailing behind her and Tigger would chase it and chase it. Nobel loved the same game with my niece when she would visit.

of course, we now know there are safer toys to do this with and we were ways supervised. The strong was put up somewhere so well afterwards that even being 5 years older I have no idea where my mum put it. I stored mine in a safe drawer. I also knew my niece not to be the type of child to wrap string around herself.
You know your children and cat best and what toy(s) could work for this!

 

[ArtNJ]

A scratching post with a cup top next to your computer desk, next to your reading or TV armchair. You have to relocate them a bunch, but I have kinda sort taught my almost 13 pound cat that when I tap the scratching post, it means I want him in the cup top rather than on me. Its close enough to pet him. When he was younger a whicker paper storage tray on the desk also worked well (but I have a big desk and this may not work for most.)

I wouldn't mind it so much, but he is so dang big and picky about positioning that he is in front of the computer thinking about positioning, in and out of the lap if the positioning (in his mind) is not just right, and eventually, when I get distracted, he teleports to the lap and acts like he has been there all along and there is no reason for me to be surprised to find him there.

Sometimes people that think you should feel honored have a smaller cat

 

[Tobermory]

I do two things when I don’t want Mocha to sit on my lap. First, I prop my feet up on a stool so I don’t actually have a lap, and secondly, I put this small, inexpensive little bed next to me so she can be next to, but not on, me. She seems happy with the arrangement because she’s close to me and can get the occasional scritches or pets. The lightweight cat bed was only $15. It might not work for really large cats, though.

 

[BlueRaccoon]

I REALLY appreciate everyone's advice. I got a bed to sit next to me, and I'm trying to be consistent with moving him over to it. I now need to find toys the kids can play with him with.