How to regain trust

[sarah430]

Navi, one of my exclusively indoor cats slipped out a door left ajar by mistake and has been outside almost a month now. (I have another thread in the feral/stray cat forum about trapping her.) She is almost 5 years old and I adopted her and her brother when they were 6 months old. I don't know their history but they were likely born feral and/or outside and likely didn't get good socialization with humans as kittens. They hid under a couch in my spare room for 2 months and it took me a good 6 months to earn their trust. Navi has gotten out twice before but the last time was nearly 2 years ago. Both these times she came back in at night through an open door after 2 nights.

Anyway, like I said, she's been out almost a month now and it's only been in the last few days that she has shown herself. I've seen her at night on the wildlife camera I bought and she has eaten some of the food I've put out at night. But I've started to feed her during the early mornings and evenings since the food at night was attracting raccoons. And she has come out at these times - but stayed on the far end of our yard about 50 feet from me. I'm pretty sure she hasn't left the yard this whole time - we have large bushes all around she can hide in.

The past few days when she's been around when I'm putting out food she acts extremely scared and won't let me come close. I've gotten down on the ground and spoken softly to her and say the things I would normally say to her if she were in the house. She just yowls back at me and does not seem happy. If I make any kind of move close to her - even bringing food - she'll slink off into the bushes. I really don't understand her behavior since in the house she has become a pretty nice house cat - will sit on our laps, come sleep with us, eat treats out of my hand, "talk" to me, etc. In the house, she is still skittish at times and fearful of strangers and doesn't like to be picked up.

I guess being outside she has reverted but I'm trying to understand. Best case I can get her back inside (I've gotten great advice from the other thread so I'm not looking for trapping advice here), but really I'd like to understand and regain her trust. I don't think she's truly happy outside but I'm hoping at the very least I can keep her around as an outside cat and will continue to feed her and hopefully get her to trust me again.

 

[Kieka]

Instincts are powerful and cats are very routine based. With her normal surroundings gone and routine subverted, she is living on instinct which is what is keeping her alive. You aren't *you* in this strange environment because you are part of the other place and belong there.

My girl, Rocket, was feral until she was roughly 4 months old. Granted, that wasn't a long time but it was enough to impact her behavior. When we brought her inside we slowly opened her world up a room at a time, but she'd always run back to where her first set up was when startled or confused. Even now, at 6 years old, her "thinking spot" is the same place when she is uncomfortable. My cats are indoor/outdoor and when it came to letting Rocket outside we also did that in stages and I set up triggers to bring her back in. Even to this day, I can bring her back in from anywhere by following the triggers. Some only work if I am calling from a specific door and others are more flexible but they all work because I worked with her from 6 months to a year old to establish them.

All this to say, Rocket is still very driven by her instincts. When it came to petting her, we went very slowly over several years from petting when sitting to petting when standing and from petting with just two fingers to one hand to two hands. But every indoors accomplishment I had to repeat outside because outside is different. Rocket loves me and cuddles up to me every night, but outside I still can't walk up to her to pet her without stopping and letting her recognize me. Rocket wants nothing more then to have her brother groom her in the house, but outside he is her mortal enemy who must be slain (minor dramatic emphasis). While she is the most definitive cat when it comes to inside she reacts and does x while outside she reacts and does y; my others also have some minor things that seem silly from my view but aren't from theirs. My other cats don't recognize little used doors as entries to the house and will insist on going through the main doors. They react more quickly to people outside and take longer to recognize us compared to inside. My brothers ex has a cat who went missing for over a month, she would hear him at night. When she finally spotted him in person, he ran at first but came back when she opened food and she grabbed him while he ate. But that cat was also indoor/outdoor so the can opening in either world was the same draw. With an indoor only cat, there is more fear of the unknown when outside and a more definitive line between the world's.

Bottom line of the long explanation is that inside and outside are essentially different worlds. Her instincts are on overdrive and outside is dangerous. She literally doesn't recognize you, which I know that hurts. But especially since she is still a little skittish in the house, it makes sense that she isn't as recognition of you outside.

Once you do get her back inside, she will revert back to indoors personality fairly quickly because it's inside again. It might take a little for her to settle and accept it, but she will. For now, if you see her try just sitting outside and quietly talking. The sounds of your voice and scent might click in her brain if you don't make sudden movements to scare her.

 

[sarah430]

Once you do get her back inside, she will revert back to indoors personality fairly quickly because it's inside again. It might take a little for her to settle and accept it, but she will. For now, if you see her try just sitting outside and quietly talking. The sounds of your voice and scent might click in her brain if you don't make sudden movements to scare her.

I appreciate your long reply! Yes, this sounds exactly like what is happening. She is a totally different cat outside.

My goal now is to set up a routine - regular feeding times in the same spot (away from the house but we can still see). And I will resist the urge to approach her but continue to lay down and gently say the same things she has responded to when inside and hopefully that will comfort her. Thank you for validating that my intuition on this is right. Having always had indoor/outdoor cats before these two it was hard to wrap my mind around her behavior but she really is a different cat when outside. Night and day.

 

[rubysmama]

I don't have any advice to offer, but did want to post and wish you luck with re-gaining Navi's trust, and send good vibes that she'll be back inside her home where she belongs before too much longer.

 

[sarah430]

Thank you so much rubysmama

 

[sarah430]

Here are a few pics of her, inside and also outside from the trail camera. In the picture with her legs spread out in front she is lying on top of the heat vent...her happy place.




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[sarah430]

SHE'S HOME!!

It happened so fast I wasn't expecting it and just acted on instinct. She had eaten the food I'd put out around 8pm and when I went out to get the dish, I could hear her yowling from behind the shed. I just laid down and talked gently with her but she didn't come out. About a half hour later I went back out with her favorite freeze dried salmon which she often takes from my hand. I wasn't really expecting anything but she came out and took one from my outstretched hand. And then she took another one closer and almost let me pet her. And then I made her kind of cross my body to get the next one and I just decided to snatch her, even though I know she doesn't like to be picked up and might fight back. I ran with her back to the house about 50 feet and my husband saw me coming and opened the door. Just as we were inside before I could put her down she bit my finger and scratched my wrist as she pushed off. Hopefully it won't get infected but if I have to get antibiotics, its worth it. She ran upstairs and I can hear her yowling but she'll recover.

I'm so happy and I can believe after almost 4 weeks with most of that time not seeing her it happened so fast. Thank you so much for all your support.

 

[rubysmama]

Excellent news, that she's back home!

Sorry, though, about your bite and scratches. Please keep a close eye on them, as infection can set in quickly.
Ouch! More Than You Ever Wanted To Know About Cat Bites – TheCatSite Articles

 

[sarah430]

Excellent news, that she's back home!

Sorry, though, about your bite and scratches. Please keep a close eye on them, as infection can set in quickly.
Ouch! More Than You Ever Wanted To Know About Cat Bites – TheCatSite Articles

Thank you. Yes - I've had to get on antibiotics just last year when my other cat nipped me unintentionally. So I'm taking this one more seriously and watching closely.

After I got her inside she ran up to our bedroom and surprisingly didn't hide but sat on top of a bookshelf and yowled. We gave her some space but when we came in to go to bed she got under a chair and kept yowling. Then her brother Link came over and sniffed her. I don't think he understands who she is yet, since he half heartedly hissed at her too (kind of a silent hiss). Plus we know now that he really likes being an only cat so his world is turned upside down again. After he did this and then left it's like a light switched and she came to bed with us and started kneading and purring and head butting us. She looked okay in the pictures but feeling her she is so skinny. Makes me so sad but we'll slowly put some weight on her up again. She spent the whole night full body rubbing me and cuddling up. She rarely spends the whole night with us. Feeling a little sorry for Link who was living his best life when she was gone. But I'm so happy she's back and my heart is full.