How to know when a cat bonds with you?

[Novus888]

I was told by the SPCA adoption center to wait until Buddy has fully adapted to his new home, and bonded with me, before introducing him to the outdoors. I did not receive this advice til recently, and had already taken him outside to the foyer, which put him into a panic. Apparently after thinking about it awhile, he has decided the outside is not so bad. When I open the door for fifteen minutes (with the floor fan in it) to cool the place off before bed, he tries to slip out. I now have to sit in front of the fan to stop Houdini from escaping. So how do I tell when 'Buddy has fully adapted to his new home, and bonded with me'? I'd like to have him used to the outside (and riding in the stroller) in time for the vet appointment in April, but don't want to rush it.

 

[ArtNJ]

If the cat is not going to generally be an indoor/outdoor cat, its honestly not a great idea. Several reasons:

(1) even with a proper leash and harness, the cat can easily run off. The standard harness can be backed out of;

(2) if you give a cat an inch, they want a mile, and driving you crazy about going outside is normal;

(3) even a well bonded cat can get super scared outside. I had an indoor/oudoor cat that loved to go alone side while I jogged. When we converted him to indoor only and tried to leash train him, every little outdoor noise terrified him. Having the leash on instead of freedom to roam made all the difference, I guess because he felt he was no longer in control and able to flee danger.

(4) walks can turn problematic very quickly when you encounter a dog.

There are ways around these issues to an extent, but its not the easiest thing and you are already seeing that (2) can be a huge PITA.

If you are going to do it, you want to make sure the cat is old enough to not be insta eaten by a fox or destroyed by another cat. Even if there are none in your neighborhood as far as you know, generally you want a cat to be at least 6 months old. Secondly, you want to make sure the cat understands where home is in relation to the outside and how they get back in. So going out on a leash the first couple of times would be one idea, although keep in mind that it stresses many cats out and they can escape it. Or if its nice out, and there are no roaming animals likely to send the cat bolting, you could sit outside with the cat, and let it roam a bit knowing you are right there to let it back in. Do that the first few times and you should be ok (although nothing is ever certain). If the cat will come to you when called most of the time, and seeks out petting sometimes, your probably ready to try that.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Try placing your fan in a window, with the sash pulled down to the top of the fan. That should help with the escape attempts.

 

[Catthew]

I've noticed a natural calmness and trust when you've managed to bond with them. They should be more vulnerable, willing to be touched, sleeping on you, letting you hold them etc.

 

[vince]

Willingness to allow long personal contact is probably the best indication that you've bonded with a cat.

 

[Novus888]

If the cat is not going to generally be an indoor/outdoor cat, its honestly not a great idea. Several reasons:

(1) even with a proper leash and harness, the cat can easily run off. The standard harness can be backed out of;

(2) if you give a cat an inch, they want a mile, and driving you crazy about going outside is normal;

(3) even a well bonded cat can get super scared outside. I had an indoor/oudoor cat that loved to go alone side while I jogged. When we converted him to indoor only and tried to leash train him, every little outdoor noise terrified him. Having the leash on instead of freedom to roam made all the difference, I guess because he felt he was no longer in control and able to flee danger.

(4) walks can turn problematic very quickly when you encounter a dog.

There are ways around these issues to an extent, but its not the easiest thing and you are already seeing that (2) can be a huge PITA.

If you are going to do it, you want to make sure the cat is old enough to not be insta eaten by a fox or destroyed by another cat. Even if there are none in your neighborhood as far as you know, generally you want a cat to be at least 6 months old. Secondly, you want to make sure the cat understands where home is in relation to the outside and how they get back in. So going out on a leash the first couple of times would be one idea, although keep in mind that it stresses many cats out and they can escape it. Or if its nice out, and there are no roaming animals likely to send the cat bolting, you could sit outside with the cat, and let it roam a bit knowing you are right there to let it back in. Do that the first few times and you should be ok (although nothing is ever certain). If the cat will come to you when called most of the time, and seeks out petting sometimes, your probably ready to try that.

I got the stroller to get Buddy home from the shelter, and to vet visits. He yowled all the way home from the shelter, and hid in his box for days, so it was definitely stressful for him. As I figure it, he will have to go to the vet at least twice a year (probably more), and since the SPCA hospital is only a couple blocks from the the shelter, the trip will not really be any shorter or less stressful. Maybe more stressful if he remembers the route, and thinks I'm returning him to the shelter. He needs to come to terms with the stroller, even if he does not want to take rides around the block, as vet visits are a necessity.

I have been halter training Buddy an hour a day for awhile now. I put it on him, then walk away, and just keep an eye on him. He has tried his best to slip out of it, and power his way out of it, to no avail. I'm pretty convinced the bad reviews on Amazon of the Pupteck halter (https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51UgzrwhEML.jpg), saying cats escaped from it are hogwash. I think the halter is escape proof...just not idiot proof. Probably reviewed by the same ones that give a DVD player a one star because it doesn't play bluray, even though its description never claimed to. My Pet Gear stroller has clips to attach to his harness, so first he has to slip the harness, then escape the stroller.

If Buddy decides he wants to go for a stroller ride during the day, I'll likely be willing to take him around the block. If at night, he will have to settle for a ride out back to the dumpster. If I'm not in the mood, he can yowl at the door all he wants (I have headphones and silicone earplugs).

I have no hate for dogs, but do hate their teeth. If it comes down to a choice between their teeth in my leg (or my cat), and ending them, I have no problem sending the doggie into its next life....nor in dealing harshly with the owner. When I was young I was a member of the HAMC for eight years, so I'm well acquainted with fighting and violence. I carry a rattan cane, and have adapted its use to Bokkenjutsu, which I have trained in since my mid-twenties. I'd add that I would never let Buddy out of the stroller for more than short intervals for bathroom breaks, and never if anyone was in sight. The minute I step outside, I am on high alert, and remain in the 'situational awareness' zone until I'm inside. I've actually seen the "Knockout game" done to oblivious fools that were too busy playing with their pocketphone to know they were in danger. Urban life requires street smarts.

 

[ArtNJ]

Pretty sure you are wrong about the harness being totally reliable. Your cat probably just hasn't discovered backing out of it yet. Maybe he never will, but if he does figure it out, he will be able to escape easily enough. Just biomechanically, I don't think there is any way for the standard harness leash to prevent that. Not all cats discover the flaw though.

I've never done it, I gave up when my cat discovered how to back out of a seemingly good harness that looked a lot like yours, but some folks apparently rig some sort of setup with a collar as a backup. Not sure of the exact details, but supposedly it prevents the problem.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Actually, I think that what you really want to know is...when would your cat be able to get back home if he DID slip out. And the time for that is about 10 days for almost all cats. I'd give it a full two weeks of being hyper-vigilant about keeping him in. After that, if he DOES get out, he'll be more likely to be able to find his way back home again.

 

[Novus888]

Pretty sure you are wrong about the harness being totally reliable. Your cat probably just hasn't discovered backing out of it yet. Maybe he never will, but if he does figure it out, he will be able to escape easily enough. Just biomechanically, I don't think there is any way for the standard harness leash to prevent that. Not all cats discover the flaw though.

I've never done it, I gave up when my cat discovered how to back out of a seemingly good harness that looked a lot like yours, but some folks apparently rig some sort of setup with a collar as a backup. Not sure of the exact details, but supposedly it prevents the problem.

That was the first thing he tried, but then it is always the first thing most cats try. Next came running. Then parkour. Then rolling around. Then trying to pry it off with his back feet. Lastly the agony of defeat. After four days of trying and failing, Buddy no longer tries. Now he either accepts it...or falls over, pretends to be paralyzed, and yowls for me to take it off. Since I don't fall for the latter, he mostly accepts it now. I looked it over carefully prior to putting it on him. I see no design flaws, other than it ain't foolproof. Nothing ever is. For a cat to back out of the Pupteck vest requires a 'perfect storm'. Firstly it needs the owner to put it on the cat in a flawed manner (i.e. not snug around the middle). Secondly it requires the cat to be able to get its elbows into the part that wraps around its belly. Lastly it requires resistance from the vest...either from snagging the vest on something that holds it stationary, or from a clueless owner pulling on the leash from the front.

I'm aware of the collar method of attaching it to the harness, which basically turns any collar into a choke collar if the cat starts to back out of the harness. I'd consider it too dangerous and unnecessary. The only time he goes out on just the harness and leash is in the foyer. The only escape from the building is by running up the stairs, and jumping off the balcony, as fire doors seal off everything. All other instances the stroller will be with us, and it takes very little time to plop him in, secure the harness to the stroller restraint, then snap the stroller lid shut. I don't expect to be taking Buddy from the stroller other than out back by the dumpster for a sunbath, and to pass him off to the vet. The harness is mostly as a secondary obstacle against escape from the stroller, not that it needs it. The Pet Gear AT3 No-Zip Pet Stroller is also escapeproof, or at least it is now. There were two small gaps in the nylon up on either side of the handle that Buddy might of been able to force his head through, which needle and thread fixed.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

HA! "PARKOUR!" I'd been trying to remember that word for days. I know what it is, but had forgotten what it was called! Thank you, profoundly! You have saved and old woman a small nervous breakdown with that. Making a note of it.

 

[Novus888]

HA! "PARKOUR!" I'd been trying to remember that word for days. I know what it is, but had forgotten what it was called! Thank you, profoundly! You have saved and old woman a small nervous breakdown with that. Making a note of it.

There is debate as to whether Parkour originated in China, Africa or France. I don't know the answer to that, but I am sure a cat invented it! For an older cat, Buddy is still quite spry when he has the proper incentive.

 

[danteshuman]

My super bonded to me cat likes to escape his harness sometimes. If I haven’t walked him and just let him hang out on the long leash outside for a couple of hours the last couple of days he runs in front of me and does a couple of laps up and down the alley/hedge. I just walk calmly behind him and talk to him, then put him back in his harness. He is beyond bonded I was his foster mom and he is part siamese. He stays within 10-30 feet of me max and just takes me for walks. He is bonded enough that if I do the distress meow he will come up closer to me; yet he still wants more freedom.

So my advice? Don’t plan on getting your cat used to it by April and don’t take your cat to the vet in a buggy (because he will associate it with the vet.) Take your cat for buggy rides the same time every day. Only go as far as he is comfortable. I would start with your cat in the buggy & just sitting at your doorstep for 15 minutes. I would also drape a towel or baby blanket over 1/2 of the top of the buggy. So that your cat can “hide” if they want. I never did the cat buggy maybe someone who has can tell you the best way to get your cat used to it. It takes cats 1-6 months to settle into their new home and family. That 1 month is for baby kittens. I would assume 3-6 months for an adult cat. So be patient with him and take lots of pictures/videos of your new family member.

 

[maggie101]

The purpose of having a carrier when your cat goes to the vet is its more of a safety spot for him to hide than be in a stroller out in the open. It's like having a box to crawl in if scared. Same with being outside. If you want an inside outside cat he can get uri or injured then he will have to stay inside til healed and you will have more trouble keeping him inside. Even though my cats stay inside they are micro chipped. My cats get lots of tls,play with them and brush. They are very attached to me

 

[maggie101]

I just remembered,your cat is a teenager now! It is fun to watch how they change

 

[maggie101]

If the cat is not going to generally be an indoor/outdoor cat, its honestly not a great idea. Several reasons:

(1) even with a proper leash and harness, the cat can easily run off. The standard harness can be backed out of;

(2) if you give a cat an inch, they want a mile, and driving you crazy about going outside is normal;

(3) even a well bonded cat can get super scared outside. I had an indoor/oudoor cat that loved to go alone side while I jogged. When we converted him to indoor only and tried to leash train him, every little outdoor noise terrified him. Having the leash on instead of freedom to roam made all the difference, I guess because he felt he was no longer in control and able to flee danger.

(4) walks can turn problematic very quickly when you encounter a dog.

There are ways around these issues to an extent, but its not the easiest thing and you are already seeing that (2) can be a huge PITA.

If you are going to do it, you want to make sure the cat is old enough to not be insta eaten by a fox or destroyed by another cat. Even if there are none in your neighborhood as far as you know, generally you want a cat to be at least 6 months old. Secondly, you want to make sure the cat understands where home is in relation to the outside and how they get back in. So going out on a leash the first couple of times would be one idea, although keep in mind that it stresses many cats out and they can escape it. Or if its nice out, and there are no roaming animals likely to send the cat bolting, you could sit outside with the cat, and let it roam a bit knowing you are right there to let it back in. Do that the first few times and you should be ok (although nothing is ever certain). If the cat will come to you when called most of the time, and seeks out petting sometimes, your probably ready to try that.

My rescued cat Coco was outside for 2 yrs. Now she is afraid of the outdoors.

 

[ArtNJ]

My rescued cat Coco was outside for 2 yrs. Now she is afraid of the outdoors.

Yeah, mine still tries to escape, but no longer seems to know what to do or to be totally comfortable out there. He will wander for a bit, but is willing to come back in 10 minutes vs the 4 to 18 hours that he used to stay out when he was an indoor/outdoor. We've done a good job preventing escapes recently, but I don't know he'll ever stop. Its been two years since conversion.

 

[Novus888]

My super bonded to me cat likes to escape his harness sometimes. If I haven’t walked him and just let him hang out on the long leash outside for a couple of hours the last couple of days he runs in front of me and does a couple of laps up and down the alley/hedge. I just walk calmly behind him and talk to him, then put him back in his harness. He is beyond bonded I was his foster mom and he is part siamese. He stays within 10-30 feet of me max and just takes me for walks. He is bonded enough that if I do the distress meow he will come up closer to me; yet he still wants more freedom.

So my advice? Don’t plan on getting your cat used to it by April and don’t take your cat to the vet in a buggy (because he will associate it with the vet.) Take your cat for buggy rides the same time every day. Only go as far as he is comfortable. I would start with your cat in the buggy & just sitting at your doorstep for 15 minutes. I would also drape a towel or baby blanket over 1/2 of the top of the buggy. So that your cat can “hide” if they want. I never did the cat buggy maybe someone who has can tell you the best way to get your cat used to it. It takes cats 1-6 months to settle into their new home and family. That 1 month is for baby kittens. I would assume 3-6 months for an adult cat. So be patient with him and take lots of pictures/videos of your new family member.

Unfortunately the stroller/harness is the only way to get him to the vet, other than maybe a $100 taxi ride one way, which is outside my reach. Likely Buddy will be thinking of his traumatic visit to the OakVet ER when I take him for his Wellness Checkup at the SPCA hospital. Either that, or thinking I'm taking him back to the shelter, since the hospital is just a couple blocks away. Nothing I can do about that. I can try to get him used to the harness and stroller, so that doesn't add more stress. In the end there is only so much I can do.

I took him out back to the dumpster again today. He didn't go wild when I got him back inside like before. Other than a big increase in appetite, and being a bit clingy (not complaining), he seems okay. I think he hates the harness worse than the stroller, but the soft carrier worst of all.

 

[danteshuman]

Can you ask the vet for a light sedative you can give Buddy before his stroller ride to the “evil” vet? I would also cover his stroller to reduce his stress during his journey.

Until then I would leave the buggy open and get him in there (without securing him in it) with treats and play. Maybe put his dry food there. After his trip just keep encouraging him to like the buggy rides.