How to Help a Cat Tolerate Being Held

[DizzyLizzy2187]

Hi there! I was wondering if anyone had any tips for helping a cat become tolerable of being held. And let me say this, I don’t mean so that I can pick him up and cuddle him and all that. I recognize that may never be him. Rather I would prefer to be able to hold him so I can cut his nails and if needed in the future, give him medicine.
Just for a bit of context, I just adopted a 7-8 year old who, I think once we work through some stuff, will be very sweet and possibly very cuddly, but he has had a rough go of things. He got taken in as a kitten by a man, and then got put out on the streets shortly after because the individual was killed in an accident. He fended for himself on the streets for a while and apparently he was bullied by the other cats and because of his sweet nature he never defended himself and his ears were so bad they had to be removed.
He was adopted out last year and was returned recently because the person did not feel a connection with him. I won’t go into my feelings about all of that because it’s not nice, but she was a first time cat owner, he I think is very nervous and not used to being someone’s pet, and I think she sort of neglected him in a lot of ways. Definitely not food wise because he put 5 pounds on in her care, but that’s a separate story.
He definitely is very sweet and loves getting pets, but he has his limitations and he has batted at me a few times (kept the claws in, thankfully).
That was a much longer post than I intended (sorry!), but I just wanted to know if anyone had any tips for helping a cat get more comfortable being handled. Also, it would probably help a TINY bit at the vet because he apparently hates that, too.

 

[Caspers Human]

Our cat, Casper, is one that doesn't like to be held. The other cat, Elliot, is just the opposite. You can't keep him off your lap, sometimes! As a matter of fact, Elliot just jumped up on my lap while I'm sitting at the computer, typing this message!

Like you say, some cats like it but some cats don't.

I also agree with you that your average house cat should be trained to, at least, tolerate being held for a short time.

If ever there is an emergency where you need to coral the cat, it'll be necessary to pick the cat up and take it to safety. Also, like you say, if you need to give the cat medicine, take it to the vet or give other care, the cat will need to tolerate some amount of being handled.

With Casper, the cat that doesn't like to be held, I train him to be handled by simply picking him up, every so often. I make sure to hold him securely so that he doesn't feel like he's going to fall but not so tightly that he feels restrained. I put one arm underneath the cat and make sure he's got a good "platform" for his back feet and I'll put his front paws over my shoulder. I hold Casper, pet him and say, "Good kitty!" I'll slowly move around the room and let him have a view of our surroundings from my point of view.

After several repetitions, Casper has learned tolerate being held for a minute or so. He'll meow when he's had enough. When the cat meows for me to put him down, I count to ten then put him down, gently. Usually, I'll carefully put him down on the sofa, the bed or a comfy chair. Don't "toss" him down. I try to make it so that the cat feels like HE's the one getting down, not me putting him down.

After a while, Casper has learned to be picked up and held long enough that, if we ever did have an emergency or some other need to pick him up, such as holding him while at the vet's office, we can do it without too much stress. Actually, I think Casper secretly likes being held but he's such an old, stick in the mud he just doesn't want to admit it.

Casper will jump up for some lap time with his Girl-Human so we know that he's not averse to being held. I think he just feels like we humans are cramping his style.

The other cat, Elliot is just the opposite. He's a full-fledged Velcro Kitten! If there's a lap to sit on, he'll jump up and make himself comfortable in about 0.68 seconds! I'm happy to give Elliot the comfort and security but, sometimes, I just need him to get down. If I need to go to the bathroom, answer the phone or something, it's almost impossible to get him down!

Elliot, we have to train the opposite way. When it's time to get up, I gently pat him on the bum and tell him, "Time to get up!" Of course, he doesn't want to get down and hunkers down even more.

Isn't it strange how cats seem to make themselves heavier when they don't want to be moved?

Anyhow, after I've given him a pat on the bum and asked him to get down, I count to ten. If the cat doesn't get down, I just slowly stand up, pick the cat up as I do, then gently put him on the floor. Of course, he complains but... Sorry, kitty... the human needs to get up!

Basically, whether it's teaching the cat to "come up" or teaching the cat to "get down" it's mostly the same process in reverse.

Regardless whether it's "up" or "down" you have to be firm but gentle and don't take any crap. You're the human! You set the rules!

BTW: Whenever you are holding a cat, be aware that its face, claws and teeth might be in close proximity to YOUR face! If the cat gets upset or freaks out, you might get clawed in the face! We have a good relationship with our cats, Casper and Elliot. We know that they would never knowingly claw us but we still have to remember that five out of six ends of a cat are sharp and pointy!

 

[DizzyLizzy2187]

Our cat, Casper, is one that doesn't like to be held. The other cat, Elliot, is just the opposite. You can't keep him off your lap, sometimes! As a matter of fact, Elliot just jumped up on my lap while I'm sitting at the computer, typing this message!

Like you say, some cats like it but some cats don't.

I also agree with you that your average house cat should be trained to, at least, tolerate being held for a short time.

If ever there is an emergency where you need to coral the cat, it'll be necessary to pick the cat up and take it to safety. Also, like you say, if you need to give the cat medicine, take it to the vet or give other care, the cat will need to tolerate some amount of being handled.

With Casper, the cat that doesn't like to be held, I train him to be handled by simply picking him up, every so often. I make sure to hold him securely so that he doesn't feel like he's going to fall but not so tightly that he feels restrained. I put one arm underneath the cat and make sure he's got a good "platform" for his back feet and I'll put his front paws over my shoulder. I hold Casper, pet him and say, "Good kitty!" I'll slowly move around the room and let him have a view of our surroundings from my point of view.

After several repetitions, Casper has learned tolerate being held for a minute or so. He'll meow when he's had enough. When the cat meows for me to put him down, I count to ten then put him down, gently. Usually, I'll carefully put him down on the sofa, the bed or a comfy chair. Don't "toss" him down. I try to make it so that the cat feels like HE's the one getting down, not me putting him down.

After a while, Casper has learned to be picked up and held long enough that, if we ever did have an emergency or some other need to pick him up, such as holding him while at the vet's office, we can do it without too much stress. Actually, I think Casper secretly likes being held but he's such an old, stick in the mud he just doesn't want to admit it.

Casper will jump up for some lap time with his Girl-Human so we know that he's not averse to being held. I think he just feels like we humans are cramping his style.

The other cat, Elliot is just the opposite. He's a full-fledged Velcro Kitten! If there's a lap to sit on, he'll jump up and make himself comfortable in about 0.68 seconds! I'm happy to give Elliot the comfort and security but, sometimes, I just need him to get down. If I need to go to the bathroom, answer the phone or something, it's almost impossible to get him down!

Elliot, we have to train the opposite way. When it's time to get up, I gently pat him on the bum and tell him, "Time to get up!" Of course, he doesn't want to get down and hunkers down even more.

Isn't it strange how cats seem to make themselves heavier when they don't want to be moved?

Anyhow, after I've given him a pat on the bum and asked him to get down, I count to ten. If the cat doesn't get down, I just slowly stand up, pick the cat up as I do, then gently put him on the floor. Of course, he complains but... Sorry, kitty... the human needs to get up!

Basically, whether it's teaching the cat to "come up" or teaching the cat to "get down" it's mostly the same process in reverse.

Regardless whether it's "up" or "down" you have to be firm but gentle and don't take any crap. You're the human! You set the rules!

BTW: Whenever you are holding a cat, be aware that its face, claws and teeth might be in close proximity to YOUR face! If the cat gets upset or freaks out, you might get clawed in the face! We have a good relationship with our cats, Casper and Elliot. We know that they would never knowingly claw us but we still have to remember that five out of six ends of a cat are sharp and pointy!

Thank you for that! I am actually feeling much more hopeful today. I happened upon a video from the shelter I adopted him from that they made last year, prior to him being adopted out by his previous owner. There’s a part where his foster straight up has him in her arms, kind of like a baby, and she was rocking with him. So obviously he tolerates it, I think I just need to work on undoing all of the damage his previous adopted did.

 

[Caspers Human]

Most cats don’t like being held on their backs like a turtle. It’s a sign of submission for a cat to be upside down with its belly up.

If by “not liking to be held” you mean that you are holding a cat upside down like that it’s understandable why a cat would be uncomfortable.

When you hold a cat, try to make it feel secure. Don’t let the cat feel like it’s going to fall. Cats don’t like it when their feet dangle so be sure to let the cat keep its feet under its body. Rocking is another thing that most cats don’t like.

If your cat previously tolerated being held he’ll probably let you hold him, too, if you are careful to hold him in a way he feels safe. :}

 

[danteshuman]

The nails? Take him to the groomer or clip one a day while he sleeps. If he wakes give him lots of treats…… every time.

I trained Dante to let me carry him around with treats. I would pick him up, walk 3 feet, put him on the bed, give him some treats. I did that once a day, every day. Then I gradually over months lengthened the distance I could carry him.

 

[DizzyLizzy2187]

Most cats don’t like being held on their backs like a turtle. It’s a sign of submission for a cat to be upside down with its belly up.

If by “not liking to be held” you mean that you are holding a cat upside down like that it’s understandable why a cat would be uncomfortable.

When you hold a cat, try to make it feel secure. Don’t let the cat feel like it’s going to fall. Cats don’t like it when their feet dangle so be sure to let the cat keep its feet under its body. Rocking is another thing that most cats don’t like.

If your cat previously tolerated being held he’ll probably let you hold him, too, if you are careful to hold him in a way he feels safe. :}

Oh I definitely would not hold him like that unless he put himself into that position. One of my previous cats LOVED being held like a baby. The instant I picked her up she would just fall backwards into my arms.
One of my other cats does not like to be restrained, she is a lap cat through and through, but the instant you put your arm around her, she’s gone. But she at least tolerates me holding her to clip her nails. I do wonder if part of why he doesn’t like being held is that he has atopic dermatitis that the previous adopter and vet was being caused by a food allergy, so he’s on a special diet, but his skin is still bright pink and he has bald spots on his belly and the back of his hind legs. I wouldn’t want people touching me either if my skin was itchy and in pain. We’re going to the vet in a few weeks and that’s at the top of the list to address.

 

[DizzyLizzy2187]

The nails? Take him to the groomer or clip one a day while he sleeps. If he wakes give him lots of treats…… every time.

I trained Dante to let me carry him around with treats. I would pick him up, walk 3 feet, put him on the bed, give him some treats. I did that once a day, every day. Then I gradually over months lengthened the distance I could carry him.

He is going to the vet in a few weeks, and if I can’t get them done beforehand I have every intention of asking them to do it. I definitely want to get into the habit of doing it at home because he apparently hates the vet and he was getting medicated to go, so if I can avoid having to do that, it’d be ideal. He’s just a tad more nervous than all the other cats we’ve had, so I just want to help him settle in while also getting him used to things.
I don’t know how cutting them in his sleep would go, he’s not a deep sleeper. Usually any movement or sound or touch and he’s up.
I mentioned in a reply to someone else that some of this might stem from his skin issues, which I personally don’t think the food actually helps. And I also question what happened in his previous adopters home.We’ve got some stuff to work through and it might just be a matter of me being patient and giving him time.

 

[ProMeower]

You can try hugging the cat a little while he's on the floor, with lots of nice chin scratches and "good cat!" It's a lot of stimulation but part of being held is the sensation of "wow this human sure is close and touching me." Kitty will probably say "what are you doing, no thanks" and leave but let him - so the cat can learn that nothing bad happens.

You can also try just lifting the cat between place A and place B in a very matter-of-fact way. If he's already on his way to the windowsill, for example, you can approach from the side, and lift the cat by supporting the ribcage. The hope is to make being picked up a non-event.

The nails are a trickier proposition. I give treats for just holding the paw at first, and if you can successfully trim one nail per session that is okay. The "thumb" claw is advanced level and is the noisiest usually. My cats don't love it and yell a lot during but they don't hide from it and don't mind it much really. They are so used to treats after nail trims that they lick their lips as soon as they are done. I have had their nails trimmed under sedation (as bonus when doing dental or surgery) and I think the vet cuts off so much nail it makes kitty uncomfortable.

P.S. it took maybe 2 or 3 years for my skittish adult shelter-adopted cat to be okay with being picked up, and he still runs away from that asap. He's my fearful boy. Some cats just don't get comfortable with the loss of control.

 

[Alldara]

I start with just coming over and standing and petting both sides with my hands at the same time. Then you can lift just the front end and set back down (can provide a treat but usually more pets suffices).
Then eventually lift up and set down in the same spot.

What P ProMeower suggests about helping him get from point A to point B when you see something happening is really great too! It builds trust in a big way. At first you get a "What the heck, well at least I'm where I wanted to be."