How To Discipline A "mean"cat?

[trizzo0309]

Hello all. We got a new cat a couple months ago and one of the resident cats just constantly wants to go in our bedroom where our new cat is being held and just attacks him. He just goes too rough, causes issues and is a mess.

He's normally such a sweet cat and have never had issues with him ever. We tried feeding them both underneath a door and through a screen and all that goes well. When they are in the same room though things start ok then old cat just snaps and it sucks. How should we deal with this and how do you go about disciplining that cat?

 

[talkingpeanut]

You don't discipline; you redirect. Cats don't respond to punishment. You can put a cat in time out for a few minutes to calm down. Otherwise, play with the cat elsewhere to expend energy and reward good behavior.

 

[Kieka]

Simple answer, you don't.

Cats are not wired the way people are. They don't do things inherently mean or purposefully cause problems. They are pretty black and white in their actions and reactions. In your case, "There is an intruder in MY home. I will get rid of the intruder." Your cat sees absolutely nothing wrong with his behavior. He is protecting you, his territory and his home. Therefore discipline will do nothing, be received as you randomly being mean, and will result in him getting more upset so he will (likely) act out more. This is in no way a failing of your resident cat or an example of him being a bad cat or mean cat. This is him being a male cat reacting to an invader as a male cat is biologically programmed to.

The problem here, sorry to say, is the human factor. Bringing in a new cat can be an often times stressful occurrence for everyone. The forums are full of advice on how to do it properly and that sometimes it can take a long time to do.

The feeding at the doors is a good start. How long did you do it? Once they are eating near each other, with the door, you can try cracking the door so they can see each other or using some type of screen so they can see and smell while eating. Once they are fine with seeing and smelling each other then you move to actual no barrier interactions. When your resident starts to fixate on the newcomer you distract with toys, treats, petting. Whatever makes him go, "I am still in charge, I still rule. I am getting the toy/treat/attention." Over time the newcomer becomes less of a threat because your residents territory is still the same just with a new possible friend.

You can also do scent exchanges and territory exchanges. Take a cat bed or tree from your residents area into the new cats area and vice versa. Change up who is in the bedroom so that they explore each others areas and exchange scents.

Another tool in socialization is catify your home. Have trees and shelves and beds so both cats have places they can claim. Just be sure that you don't create any dead ends so someone doesn't end up trapped.

You don't mention time but an uncomplicated introduction will usually take at least a month and a complicated one can take a few months. Be patient and don't push anyone past their boundaries.

 

[trizzo0309]

Simple answer, you don't.

Cats are not wired the way people are. They don't do things inherently mean or purposefully cause problems. They are pretty black and white in their actions and reactions. In your case, "There is an intruder in MY home. I will get rid of the intruder." Your cat sees absolutely nothing wrong with his behavior. He is protecting you, his territory and his home. Therefore discipline will do nothing, be received as you randomly being mean, and will result in him getting more upset so he will (likely) act out more. This is in no way a failing of your resident cat or an example of him being a bad cat or mean cat. This is him being a male cat reacting to an invader as a male cat is biologically programmed to.

The problem here, sorry to say, is the human factor. Bringing in a new cat can be an often times stressful occurrence for everyone. The forums are full of advice on how to do it properly and that sometimes it can take a long time to do.

The feeding at the doors is a good start. How long did you do it? Once they are eating near each other, with the door, you can try cracking the door so they can see each other or using some type of screen so they can see and smell while eating. Once they are fine with seeing and smelling each other then you move to actual no barrier interactions. When your resident starts to fixate on the newcomer you distract with toys, treats, petting. Whatever makes him go, "I am still in charge, I still rule. I am getting the toy/treat/attention." Over time the newcomer becomes less of a threat because your residents territory is still the same just with a new possible friend.

You can also do scent exchanges and territory exchanges. Take a cat bed or tree from your residents area into the new cats area and vice versa. Change up who is in the bedroom so that they explore each others areas and exchange scents.

Another tool in socialization is catify your home. Have trees and shelves and beds so both cats have places they can claim. Just be sure that you don't create any dead ends so someone doesn't end up trapped.

You don't mention time but an uncomplicated introduction will usually take at least a month and a complicated one can take a few months. Be patient and don't push anyone past their boundaries.

Thank you for your reply Kieka . We have done the feeding with them numerous times and they generally go very well. At first we did the feeding through a closed door but we actually have a screen that works just fine.

We will put the screen up between our room and the hallway and they will eat fine. The aggressive cat will just relax and eat then want to come into the bedroom to check out the place more. The other two older cats don't really want anything to do with the eating. They notice that their food bowl isn't in its normal place (downstairs) so they just won't eat and will wait until we move their bowl back to their spot later on.

The aggressive cat will eat then want to hang out in the bedroom and we think it's a good idea for them to be around each other and hang out. So we let him in, the new cat stays under the bed in his safe space then things after a couple of minutes go to hell when the old cat goes under the bed to hang out and it turns into a scuffle.

What do you think? We also found out today that this new cat has always wanted to be in just one room in his life. The rescue woman said he was super lovey within his room but never actually wanted to leave that room. We'd love this guy to join us with the other cats on the different floors but maybe that'll never happen?

 

[Kieka]

Glad to hear you guys did the screens and that had gone well. Some cats just take longer and if you have a more dominate and passive one it can take even longer.

Block off the underside of the bed so the new cat can't hide there. That will also keep any problems where you can easily stop them before they get too far and prevent the new cat from retreating and looking like a target. Your best bet is probably to make sure you keep the resident entertained when in the room. If he starts towards the other cat distract him somehow. If he won't be distracted and starts to make aggressive moves it it time to separate for that visit. Start with baby step goals of 5 minute visits and add a few minutes each day until you don't have to distract him anymore.

As to the one room aspect. It is a new home so it is possible he won't revert to that habit. Once everyone is getting along you can try slowly forcing him out of the room by slowly moving his food bowl an inch further each day until it is out of the room and with the others. It would take a while but it is slowly pushing his boundaries. Also the scent markers of putting his bed in a different room might help him recognize it as safe and part of his home.

 

[maggiedemi]

Are all the cats neutered or spayed? My Cat From Hell had an episode on this subject. Jackson Galaxy said that one cat acting scared, like prey, would make the other cat attack. The solution was to boost the confidence of the scared cat, so he wouldn't act like prey. A few things he did to boost the cat's confidence was get him up high on kitty shelves and cat trees and play with him. Also, to get his scent throughout the home so he would feel like he owned it.

 

[trizzo0309]

Glad to hear you guys did the screens and that had gone well. Some cats just take longer and if you have a more dominate and passive one it can take even longer.

Block off the underside of the bed so the new cat can't hide there. That will also keep any problems where you can easily stop them before they get too far and prevent the new cat from retreating and looking like a target. Your best bet is probably to make sure you keep the resident entertained when in the room. If he starts towards the other cat distract him somehow. If he won't be distracted and starts to make aggressive moves it it time to separate for that visit. Start with baby step goals of 5 minute visits and add a few minutes each day until you don't have to distract him anymore.

As to the one room aspect. It is a new home so it is possible he won't revert to that habit. Once everyone is getting along you can try slowly forcing him out of the room by slowly moving his food bowl an inch further each day until it is out of the room and with the others. It would take a while but it is slowly pushing his boundaries. Also the scent markers of putting his bed in a different room might help him recognize it as safe and part of his home.

Kieka We have been told by a couple people to block off under the bed. The hesitation we have is that we don't really know how to go about doing that efficiently. When he is out and about in the room if we make sudden movements he'll dive underneath the bed for safety. We'll have to find a way to be really fast if we do it.

Another concern is that he'll just find somewhere else to hide. We have a dresser he can go under/behind and different areas we'd have to completely block off. Isn't it good he has a safe space under the bed?

We have tried the food thing over the weekend and he came out about 3 inches and was hesitant the whole time. At this pace we seriously think this will take another 6 months just to get him comfy with the upstairs, let alone the entire apartment. We feel like by the time he's finally comfy with the upstairs we'll be ready to move to our next place and start all over again. This is hell.

 

[trizzo0309]

Are all the cats neutered or spayed? My Cat From Hell had an episode on this subject. Jackson Galaxy said that one cat acting scared, like prey, would make the other cat attack. The solution was to boost the confidence of the scared cat, so he wouldn't act like prey. A few things he did to boost the cat's confidence was get him up high on kitty shelves and cat trees and play with him. Also, to get his scent throughout the home so he would feel like he owned it.

All cats are fixed. We don't have room for shelves and stuff but we do have a bed that he comes on rarely and a dresser that can overlook a window outside that he likes to jump on and peer out of at night.

 

[Kieka]

I have a former feral. With her I had to remove hiding places otherwise she would have settled into a routine of hiding is normal. If you don't want the new cat to always hide then I would recommend removing all hiding places and only allow him into spots you can easily access and see but he feels safe. For example the cat cave beds. Start with everything else in the room so he doesn't run. Block off one side of the bed then shoo him out from under it and quickly block the other sides (better if you can do it when he is out anyways but shooing it might have to be). A cat tree with a cave or just a cave bed as an alternative should already be there for him to find as his new safe spot.

It is one of those necessary evil type of things. Allowing the continued hiding only makes your new cat want to hide more. Hiding is good, hiding is safe, if I hide then I am safe and good there is nothing out there for me. You can also think of it as he isn't in a safe space right now; he is in a place of fear. He is scared and hiding from his fears. Forcing him out of his comfort zone and to interact will eventually get him to interact. He will see that the rest of your room and eventually your home is not going to hurt him. You aren't taking away his hiding ability; just his ability to hide in a way that allows him to not be part of the family. You want him out and interacting with you. For safety you also want him somewhere where he is reachable in an emergency.

My girl loves to hide under our dining room table and we allow it because it is accessible if needed but she feels comfortable there. When she is really scared she retreats into the house on her cat tree. But she usually is out and about with us despite her first few months of wanting nothing to do with us.

If you can add some shelves or a tall tree that might also help him grow in confidence and his own sense of self. More play, cat specific zones that are up instead of down (shelves instead of under a bed), and a better sense of life in general all can help him build confidence. Giving him confidence will help him when it comes to interactions with the other cats too.

 

[maggiedemi]

The shelves Jackson Galaxy uses go up on the wall, so they are not taking up space. He recommends them for people who live in small apartments, he tells them to use the vertical space if they have no outward space.

 

[duncanmac]

How is the new cat around you? Does he come out for treats and pets and to play? Get him to that point, without the other cat around so that when the resident cat comes in the new guy will feel confident and stay out for a bit (because the bedroom is his territory).

After my new guy was confident in his safe room, I was able to expand his area to be the whole basement. When I introduced my cats, the resident cat would go into the new cat's safe room and swat and box with him and scuffle a little bit. Basically I watched them and if it got to a point where the new cat would try to hide (under a freezer!) I would separate them and then spend some time with the new guy. Eventually, the new guy took over more and more of the house.

Luckily, both my cats were food motivated and responded well to distraction by treats. 3 pounds of treats in 6 weeks. They still wrestle constantly, but over time I have noticed that the matches get shorter and they do play more with each other. It took 3 months, but generally it is a peaceful coexistence.

 

[trizzo0309]

I have a former feral. With her I had to remove hiding places otherwise she would have settled into a routine of hiding is normal. If you don't want the new cat to always hide then I would recommend removing all hiding places and only allow him into spots you can easily access and see but he feels safe. For example the cat cave beds. Start with everything else in the room so he doesn't run. Block off one side of the bed then shoo him out from under it and quickly block the other sides (better if you can do it when he is out anyways but shooing it might have to be). A cat tree with a cave or just a cave bed as an alternative should already be there for him to find as his new safe spot.

It is one of those necessary evil type of things. Allowing the continued hiding only makes your new cat want to hide more. Hiding is good, hiding is safe, if I hide then I am safe and good there is nothing out there for me. You can also think of it as he isn't in a safe space right now; he is in a place of fear. He is scared and hiding from his fears. Forcing him out of his comfort zone and to interact will eventually get him to interact. He will see that the rest of your room and eventually your home is not going to hurt him. You aren't taking away his hiding ability; just his ability to hide in a way that allows him to not be part of the family. You want him out and interacting with you. For safety you also want him somewhere where he is reachable in an emergency.

My girl loves to hide under our dining room table and we allow it because it is accessible if needed but she feels comfortable there. When she is really scared she retreats into the house on her cat tree. But she usually is out and about with us despite her first few months of wanting nothing to do with us.

If you can add some shelves or a tall tree that might also help him grow in confidence and his own sense of self. More play, cat specific zones that are up instead of down (shelves instead of under a bed), and a better sense of life in general all can help him build confidence. Giving him confidence will help him when it comes to interactions with the other cats too.

Kieka This is useful information. I will go ahead and look into those cat shelves and try working him out from underneath the bed and block off all hiding locations this weekend.

 

[trizzo0309]

The shelves Jackson Galaxy uses go up on the wall, so they are not taking up space. He recommends them for people who live in small apartments, he tells them to use the vertical space if they have no outward space.

M maggiedemi Okay, I'll see if I can find some online or at a Petco!

 

[trizzo0309]

How is the new cat around you? Does he come out for treats and pets and to play? Get him to that point, without the other cat around so that when the resident cat comes in the new guy will feel confident and stay out for a bit (because the bedroom is his territory).

After my new guy was confident in his safe room, I was able to expand his area to be the whole basement. When I introduced my cats, the resident cat would go into the new cat's safe room and swat and box with him and scuffle a little bit. Basically I watched them and if it got to a point where the new cat would try to hide (under a freezer!) I would separate them and then spend some time with the new guy. Eventually, the new guy took over more and more of the house.

Luckily, both my cats were food motivated and responded well to distraction by treats. 3 pounds of treats in 6 weeks. They still wrestle constantly, but over time I have noticed that the matches get shorter and they do play more with each other. It took 3 months, but generally it is a peaceful coexistence.

D duncanmac Thanks for reaching out. The new cat loves being around us. When we get home from work he comes right out from under the bed and rolls all around and can literally be pet for hours without batting an eye. He LOVES being pet and playing.

We actually haven't found any treats he likes yet, just his normal food that he enjoys.

We do think we need to block off the bed and install shelving higher up so maybe he'll want to climb on them and feel safe up high and own his place. We need to build up his confidence as he tends to be very skiddish when any loud noises occur in the room or outside the room.

Also, at night when we are sleeping and see him on the dresser looking out the window he immediately jumps down and same when he is on our bed (which is rare). I think he wants to be up high but maybe doesn't know if it is okay?

Any tips are really appreciated as we don't want to turn to a cat behaviorist or something along those lines.

So, we need to build his confidence, have the 1 resident cat who is aggressive chill out, have this new cat want to leave the bedroom and explore as he's been in our bedroom ONLY for around 2+ months.

Help!